


HIS

by Belladrox



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan x Reader - Freeform, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Death, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kidnapping, Minor Character Death, Murder, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Praise Kink, Protective Arthur, Rescue, Self-Insert, Sexual Content, Smut, Soft Arthur Morgan, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:42:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 44,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Belladrox/pseuds/Belladrox
Summary: The gang has just escaped Blackwater and you're finally reunited with Arthur.But happiness is short lived.Taken from him again, can he get you back?What else does the world have in store for you bothCan Arthur protect you from what comes next? (WIP)
Relationships: Arthur Morgan & Reader, Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s), Arthur Morgan/Reader
Comments: 67
Kudos: 165





	1. Safety at Colter

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Smut/Violence in the story but I'll try to mark which chapters they're in as best I can. Please note that this story does have adult themes.  
> Follow me on Whattpad @belladrox  
> Buy me coffee on Ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/belladrox  
> 

Numb fingers pull the blanket closer as the icy wind threatens to tear it from your body. You've been sat in the back of this wagon for three days, battling the snowstorm with the rest of the gang as you flee the threats that follow. You trusted Dutch, you all did, but since Micah bent his ear over the Blackwater job things had taken a turn and you began to question where your loyalty should lie.

"Hang in there Y/N, we'll get through the this" Abigail spoke directly to you but her eyes never left where her hands pressed over Davey's bullet wound.

"I wouldn't count on all of us making it through Abigail" your eyes flicking from Davey's wound to his face. 

His eyes closed and breathing shallow, it wouldn't be long before he succumbed to his injury.  
Abigail sniffed and nodded, her eyes remaining on Davey. You pull your knees to your chest and sigh.  
"I'm sorry Abigail, I'm cold, I'm scared, and...."

"...you're worried about Arthur." She finishes now staring at you.

You nod and bury your face into your knees as you hug them closer.

Arthur hadn't been in Blackwater, thank God, because if he had it could have been him lying in Davey's place. Arthur was the best shot the gang had and to be fair things may not have gone south as badly as they did had he been there, but he'd been sent off earlier in the week to follow up on a lead Trelawny had found. You hadn't seen him for 10 days and had no clue if he was even alive, but God did you pray he was okay.

As you begin to spiral into worry your thoughts are interrupted by the slowing of the wagon. You look up at Abigail, she's staring at you with wide eyes full of fear.

"Do think they caught up to us?"

You shake your head as you squint into the snow to try and see, you were certain only your gang would be desperate enough to venture this far North in the Winter. You begin to hear shouting, men's voices, but the wind makes it impossible to decipher what they are saying. The voices are getting closer but still you can't hear what they are saying so you shuffle closer to the front of the wagon, Lenny and the Reverend sit huddled on the driver's bench waiting for the signal to move again. You squint harder to Dutch and Hosea's carriage ahead, they are shouting into the snow at someone, you can't tell if the shouts are angry or because the wind is stealing their voices from them.

Suddenly a figure emerges into view, a looming outline on a bay horse. At least you think it's bay, this snow and the darkness makes it hard to tell. The figure on the horse moves away from the wagon in front and turns towards yours.

"I ain't going nowhere 'til I see 'er!" the figure yells back at Dutch as it moves closer.

Your eyes widen and you gasp.

It was Arthur! You want to run to him, but you're frozen in place, relief and happiness flooding through you. Overwhelmed by the emotions you let out a sob.

"Y/N what is it? Why have we stopped?" Abigail looks at you, concern wracked across her face.

"It's Arthur..." You smile and sniff, turning to the back of the wagon. Careful to avoid Davey you maneuver to the edge of the wagon just as Arthur pulls his horse level.  
The light from his lantern hurts your eyes but you can't bear to look away.

"Y/N..." 

It's all he can say but you understand.   
His lack of words just a result of the swell of emotions currently swirling through you both. You make to leave the wagon to embrace him.

"No no sweetheart stay there."   
Your eyes stare at him in confusion. 

"I just had to see yer, know yer were safe. Stay there, stay warm. We have to keep moving, we're not far now". 

You nod and settle back, just relieved he's alive.

His eyes leave yours to glance at Davey and the wound Abigail is still trying to tend to. 

"He gonna make it?"

You shake your head, tears threatening to spill. 

"Hm.." He nods looking down.

"Arthur I thought you were dead. I was so scared."

His head snaps up to look at you. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm here now, we're safe. There's an abandoned town up ahead, I told Dutch we can hold up there while we figure out our next move."

You nod, relieved that you'll soon be out of this wagon and into Arthur's arms.

"The sooner we're there the sooner I can hold my girl. I love you Y/N and I'm just glad you're safe." 

"I love you too." You reply, his eyes crinkling into a warm smile. A smile you'd longed to see again.

He turns his horse and heads back to the front of the convoy to lead us to the town. You settle back I got the wagon and pull your knees back into yourself, knowing soon you'd be in Arthur's arms. You look over at Abigail whose focus was still of Davey, guilt washing over you as you watch her. She still didn't know where John was, hadn't seen him since Blackwater when him and Micah had gone ahead to scout a safe place, and in your wallowing, you'd forgotten that she had to be feeling exactly as you had.

Lost. Scared. Worried.

"I'm sure John will be there waiting for us" 

She sniffed and nodded, still not daring to look up.   
You knew she didn't believe you and who could blame her? If the shoe was on the other foot you wouldn't believe it either. You always think the worst in these situations, not that any of us had been in a situation quite like this before.

The wagons slow to a stop as you pull into the small town, a few buildings remained standing, but most had fallen victim to the harsh Winters. You pull your blanket tight around you as you hop from the wagon surveying your surroundings.  
You hoped you and the rest of the gang would fare better than the buildings in the weather.

As you move to walk further into the town an arm scoops around your middle pulling you back.

"Ooof..."your back hits a solid chest.

"Sweetheart..." Arthur sighs into you pressing a long kiss to your neck. 

Relaxing instantly, you spin around flinging your arms around his waist and burning your head in his chest. Arthur's arms wrap around you, blocking out the cold wind, and pressing another kiss on the top of your head.

"I thought you were dead" you hold him tighter, almost as if he'd disappear if you let go.

"Shhhh sweetheart, I'm here. Don't talk like that. As if I'd ever leave ya." He pushes you away so he can look you in the eyes.

"I was scared too Y/N, when I was in Valentine I heard about the boat and God I thought ...." 

Pain flashed in his eyes, his voice going quiet. "I thought I lost you." 

He rubs his arms up your shoulders before pulling you in for a chaste kiss.   
So much emotion is transferred in that short kiss, the relief of being reunited, the happiness of safety, a promise of what would come later. 

"C'mon, get inside I'll meet you in there, I gotta help Lenny with Davey."

You turn towards the wagon, Abigail now holding Jack sobbing quietly as Lenny wraps Davey in a blanket. He must have passed while you and Arthur were talking. You slip your hand into Arthur's and squeeze gently. You knew he'd take Davey's death hard, blaming himself for not being there. He nods at you knowing you've read his mind; he squeezes gently back and slips from your hand making his way over to help Lenny.

It was four hours before the camp was finally set up and the horses stabled. Susan tried to keep you all busy while the men buried Davey.

"Y/N! Stop daydreaming and get the fire going, we'll catch our death in here. Karen! Put down that goddamn drink and help me with these sheets. And for the love of God where's that good for nothing Tilly?"

"Probably hiding from you, you old witch" Karen whispered as she passed by you to help Susan. 

You smirk at the remark and busy yourself with the fire, wondering how long Arthur would be. It couldn't be easy burying a body in frozen ground.

Once the fire is blazing and Susan is content there is nothing more to be done, she dismisses you, telling you where she'd set yourself and Arthur for the night. A small private cabin across from the main group. You smile and thank her, silently relieved you'd both have some privacy from the others. Gathering your blanket around you, you head towards your new room, wondering if the others had also been given the luxury of privacy.


	2. Memories at Blackwater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Chapter contains smut.

As crusty as Susan could be, she did have her moments, and she seemed to have a soft spot (all be it a tiny one) for you. The girls said it was because Arthur loved you, they said that after Mary broke his heart he was miserable and when Susan saw how happy you made him she began to go easier on you than the others.

You worried they'd get jealous, resent you, but the group was kind, simply relieved to see Arthur happy. He was like a big brother to all the girls, you included when you first joined, making sure they were safe, providing for them, always looking over them on jobs. Eventually you noticed he'd give you things and not the others, little sketches from his journal, pressed flowers that he'd found on his travels, and eventually more extravagant gifts like jewellery. You smiled as you remembered when Arthur first presented you with a necklace.

Flashback

" Arthur, it's beautiful but I can't accept this." Hands fingering the delicate chain and red stone.

He looks down and shrugs, hand scratching the back of his neck, "Oh that? Nah- I just found it on a job, thought it'd look pretty on ya."

You knew he'd stolen it, and it hadn't really cost him anything, but you still didn't feel right accepting such lavish gifts.

This continued for a few weeks. Gift, glances, a lingering hand as he helped you from horses and wagons. You loved the attention because from the moment you arrived, you'd had your eye on him. Strong, protective, handsome, and most of all kind, who wouldn't pine for him?

One day Arthur finally worked up the courage, albeit with a little liquid help, to ask you to go hunting with him, you'd never hunted in your life so wondered what help you could possibly offer him as a hunting companion

"But I can't even shoot a standing target, let alone a moving one!'

He smiles to himself, remembering the time you'd tried to shoot a beer bottle no more than ten feet away. 

“You'll be fine, you can help with the skinning or something." He shrugs.

"I don't know Arthur I'm not even good at that, why don't you take John or something?"

"Cause if rather not spend a day wi' him, 'sides he's useless at huntin."

"Well what about Tilly? She at least can skin a rabbit properly?"

He sighed, "'Cause I'd just like your company alright? Come wit me, please?"

A blush quickly filling his cheeks as you had accidentally forced him to reveal his true intention.

That night you barely slept for thoughts of being alone with him for the first time. You were excited to get away from camp but nervous of spending the whole day together. What if you had nothing in common? What if you'd misread his signals and he really was just looking for company? What if he didn't like you after spending a day with you? Would you have to find a new gang then? Would it be awkward? Maybe he just wanted a quick fling, he was a man with needs after all...

...Jesus you needed to sleep...

The next morning came faster than you would have liked, your overthinking keeping you up. When you leave your tent, you see Arthur already up and loading gear onto his horse, Bodecia. Your blue roan, Caesar waiting patiently beside the pair and already tacked up.

He turns as you approach. "Ready to go darlin'?" 

You blush at the endearment, you weren't sure if he used the term with the others but hearing him use it on you made you feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy.

"Sure, let me just grab some coffee and I'm good to go."

Desperate for the caffeine to wake you up you chug the lukewarm brew Pearson has left by the fire and quickly hurry to mount Caesar, eager to get on the road. Arthur is already mounted and waiting by the trail, you ride over and both of you fall into an easy pace as you leave the camp.

The trip was quiet at first and you sensed he was nervous. You were a little relieved it wasn't just you that was feeling that way. He asked about your family, your hobbies, all the usual chit chat that passed the time. You answered politely, turning the conversation back on him and his life with the gang, eventually he relaxed and you both fell into easy conversation.

After a successful day hunting, he asked if you minded spending the night camping before heading back in the morning.

"It's a beautiful night, be a shame to turn back so soon. Why don't we sleep out here tonight?" 

He was right it was a beautiful night; the stars were clear as ever.

"Sure. Would be a shame to waste this privacy too." 

Plus, you were grateful for an excuse to spend more time with him.

Arthur set a small fire going, removing his gun belt he lays on the ground propped up on his elbows, motioning for your to do the same. 

"Come sit by me, I promise I don't bite." He smirks, "sides I wanna show you somethin'."

Intrigued, you lay beside him mirroring his position and following his gaze to the sky.

"That there is The Big Dipper, see how they go across and then drop there?" 

He leans in close to you so you can see where his hand is pointing, you gasp when you see it, never noticing the pattern before.

"And that there is Orion's Belt, see how they connect?"

"Wow, must have been a big guy to need a belt so big..."

Arthur chuckles, you feel his chest vibrate and you note how close he is.

Arthur told you what he'd learned of the stars from a man on his travels, explaining the different names of them and even talking about something called planets or other worlds, as he called them. You didn't understand everything, but you loved hearing him talk so passionately. He continues pointing out constellations, but you can't keep your eyes on the sky, you keep stealing glances at him, his head craned upwards at the sky accentuating his jaw that was lightly speckled with stubble. Stubble you'd love nothing more than to be burning between your thighs. Pressing your thighs together you begin to imagine how he'd feel using his tongue to bring you closer to the edge, praising you as you got closer.

"Good girl.... there's a girl...you're doing so well for me."

You'd heard him calming down the horses one night after a bad storm and you'd be a liar if you didn't say you were a little envious of the attention the horses got, wishing he'd praise you like he did them.

Lost in your thoughts you didn't realize Arthur had stopped talking and was now staring directly at you.

"Stars are much better to look at than I am darlin'."

There it was again "darlin'".

God that drawl did something to you, you couldn't help but bite your lip.

"You keep looking at me like that Y/N and I worry you'll eat me up."

"Maybe I will."

Arthur chuckles but his eyes darken as he glances at your mouth, his tongue subconsciously running over his bottom lip. God how you wanted to taste that lip.

"Y/N... You're making it real hard to keep being a gentleman..." his voice low and dangerous.

"Then don't be." You roll over and straddle his thighs. 

He growls, hands instantly grabbing your hips, he sits up and crashes his mouth to yours.  
One hand grips your hip holding you down on him, the other snakes up to tangle in your hair. He moans, into your mouth.

"Fuck Y/N, I've wanted you since I first saw you."

Your breathe hitches.  
His lips leave yours to begin kissing your neck, his tongue leaving a trail of fire up to your jaw, nips of his teeth make you throw your head back and groan. You begin grinding your hips into his to get some much-needed friction.

"Took you long enough to act." You say breathlessly.

You feel him smirk against your neck as he continues his onslaught, the hand in your hair holding your head back to expose more of you to him.

Arthur growls, seemingly frustrated at the lack of skin available for him to taste. He flips you on your back, positioning himself between your legs. You both can't work fast enough, your hands are clumsily undoing his shirt and pushing it down his arms. The minute his chest is revealed you run your fingers through the dusting of hair, hand sliding up his neck and pull him back to your mouth so you can capture his lips again. His tongue licks your lips demanding entry and you oblige, tasting whiskey and peppermint on his breathe. God, he tastes good, you wondered what other parts tasted like too...

The hand on your hip slides down your thigh to your knee bunching the fabric and trying to push it up to gain access to where you so desperately needed him.

"Fuck Arthur, please"

"Needy girl ain't ya?" You whimper as his fingers slide over your clothed pussy teasing you. "Fuck, you're so wet, you're already soaked through, that all for me?"

You blush at his words; you knew his voice would be the end of you, but God did he know how to use it. As you begin to writhe at his teasing, he pushes your drawers aside with his fingers and begins sliding them through your folds, gathering the slick that drips from you.

"I bet you taste so good, but I can't wait tonight darlin', I gotta have ya' will you let me have ya?" 

"Please!" You nod frantically and he wastes no time pushing two fingers deep into you. Your back arches head thrown back, God he feels good, two thick fingers working you open, pushing you higher and higher.

"That's a good girl, God this pussy is warm, think you can cum for me? Show me how pretty you look when you cum?" 

He curls two fingers and hits you right there on the spot. Bingo. 

"Fuuuuuuck, Arthur! Oh god, yes right there I'm gon-...." 

Your words are lost as Arthur's lips crash over yours, swallowing your moans as he pushes you over the edge. Pleasure coursing through you as he guides you through your orgasm. 

"That's it sweetheart, so good for me. I got you." He slowly withdraws his fingers and kisses your neck.

You blink your eyes open as you come down from your high. No one had ever made you feel like that. Where did he even learn to do that!?   
His hand moves to his belt fumbling with the buckle.

"I didn't think you could look more beautiful but then I saw ya cumming for me." 

"Arthur I need you now" you whine.

He chuckles at your neediness, "I got you, I'm gonna take real good care of you."

He frees himself from his jeans pushing them down only as far as he needs to. He's as desperate to be inside you as you are to have him there. He lines himself up at your entrance, hand slightly shaking with need, and in one slow torturous move he slides into you.

You'd been with men before but non like Arthur, to say he was hung was an understatement. He filled and stretched you to your limits.

"Y/N.... You're so tight. Oh god sweetheart you feel so good." He sighs, eyes fluttering shut and burying his face into your neck.

"Arthur please move." You beg, not caring how needy you sounded at this point.

He draws back before slamming back into you.

"Ugh!" The force shocks you but it feels too good to care.

He sets a steady rhythm, sliding into you and angling his hips in just a way so he's brushing over that spot again and again.

Your eyes roll back' " mmmh, right there don't stop."

He bites your neck, teeth gritted, "Fuck sweetheart, you're gripping me so tight. That feel good? Ya gonna cum around my cock for me?"

You can't answer him, your hands are scrabbling across his back under his shirt, your neck scratching the hard planes of muscle. 

He growls and slams into you harder, his pace beginning to falter.

"I'm so close Y/N, I want you to cum with me." He grits out, holding back his own release until you find yours.

Arthur snakes a hand between your legs, finding your clit with his thumb he begins pressing tight circles.

"Oh God, don't stop!" You throw you head back against the ground. The added stimulation pushing you to the edge. 

"Arthur I'm...." your words are lost as you reach your climax.

"Y/N sweetheart, fuck nnnnugh!"

He roars and slams his hips flush against you, your walls flutter tight on his cock, triggering his release. He empties into you, hot ropes of cum coating your insides.

He falls limp onto you, one arm preventing him from completely crushing you. His weight feels good against you.

Coming down from your high you nuzzle your face into his neck, inhaling deeply a smell of gunpowder, sweat and something that is innately Arthur.  
He pulls back to look at you. 

"You really are something else Y/N." Hand caressing your cheek.

You turn to kiss his palm, letting out a content sigh, "Could say the same about you Arthur. I gotta thank whatever woman taught you how to do that."

He chuckles, "You're the only woman that's gonna feel like that because of me. Sorry to tell ya, but you're definitely stuck with me now."

Relieved it wasn't just a onetime thing you can't help but smile. 

"I don't mind at all."

Arthur looks down to where you're still connected feeling his cum beginning to leak down your thighs. His eyes widen, pulling out of you quickly as he realizes what he's done. You wince at the sudden emptiness.

"Shit, I... I didn't mean to... I got carried away! I'm so sorry!" His eyes full of concern.

"Arthur shhh." Hand cupping his face. "I don't mind."

"But what if you're...?" His eyes wide and full of concern.

"Then we'll cross that bridge if the time comes."

He frowns but nods, pulling himself up and tucking himself back in his jeans while reaching for his bandanna. Wiping your thighs gently he cleans you up with the cloth.

"I'd take care of you if you are, I don't have much as you know, but I'd give you everything."

"I know Arthur" and you didn't doubt him for a second, you knew he'd give you the world.

"C'mon let's get you to bed." Standing and holding his hand out to you.

You settle in his tent, your back pulled tight against his chest, his arm tight around your middle.

"Thank you for tonight Arthur." You sigh, eyes closing and sleep creeping in.

He squeezes you closer. "We have more than tonight now." He whispers pressing a kiss behind your ear.  
You fall asleep that night wrapped in your outlaw with a smile plastered on your face.

End of flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love Arthur as a cheeky outlaw, I think he's so sweet! Let me know what you thought of my first attempt at smut! I'd love your feedback :)


	3. Warmth at Colter |

You bite your lip and smile at the memory. It seems so long ago now, so many things have happened. The boat, the Pinkertons finding you, losing Davey, John was still missing, and Sean had been caught. You shake your head shuffling closer to the fire in yours and Arthur's temporary cabin.

"You have Arthur back just focus on that" you think to yourself in an effort to stay positive.  
The door bangs open behind you, wind racing into the cabin.

"Y/N?" Arthur shouts into the cabin but quickly spots you by the fire. "There you are Susan said she'd given us a place to ourselves. Wonder what she's been drinking to be so nice?" 

He chuckles as he pushes the door shut, shaking off his snow-covered coat, hanging it on a lose nail.

"I'd leave that on if I were you, it's fucking freezing in here." You pull the blanket tighter to you.

"Tut tut" he shakes his head, "I leave for a few days and come back to my lady swearin' like a damn sailor." He smirks settling down beside you at the fire.

"Like you haven't said worse" you knock your shoulder into him.

"I thought you liked when I swore?" His voice suddenly a whisper, dropping deeper. "If I recall you 'specially like it when we're in bed." 

You go to swat his arm but he scoops you up and between his legs so you're both facing the fire, your back nestled against the hard muscle of his chest and his legs framing your body either side.

You sigh at his warmth, wiggling as far back into him as possible. He wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss behind your ear before settling his chin on your shoulder watching the flames.  
You sit for a minute in comfortable silence, just enjoying being back in each other's arms.

A few minutes pass before Arthur breaks the silence. 

"What happened while I was gone?"

You know he's talking about the boat. You look down, playing with the frayed edges of your blanket.

"A lot of people died Arthur. We were lucky we got away."

His arms instinctively tighten around you, the thought of losing you playing on his mind.

You continue, "We were using dynamite to get into the safe, didn't think it's be a problem since we'd done it at the bank before but Micah used too much. Said he wasn't risking anything. He damn blew a hole in the side of the boat and water started pouring in."

"Damn Micah." Arthur growls shaking his head. 

He hated Micah ever since he joined, said Dutch wasn't man he knew anymore because of him.

"Anyway, the girls and I tried to get everyone out to the rafts while the boys got what they could before the boat went down. Only turns out Micah had sabotaged half the rafts, said "they won't be able to chase us that way". There wasn't enough for the people and us." 

Tears are starting to fall now but you sniff and carry on.

"Dutch said we had to leave 'em, that it was them or us and he wasn't letting his family die. We were supposed to break the engine and leave em stranded, not drown them." Your shaking and can no longer hold back the tears. “There were kids on board...children Arthur! WE LET THEM DIE!" You sob into your knees.

"Hey hey hey shhhh" he presses his nose into your hair and begins to rock you gently. "It weren't your fault, you tried to save them."

You sniffle and nod, his thumb coming up and wiping away the tears from your cheeks. 

"Sweetheart, you did what you could. This is Goddman Micah's fault if anything."

You nod but can't help but feeling guilty still at being a part of the gang that downed the boat"

You swallow and try to carry on "When we got t-.."

"Hey...I don't need to hear anymore, I'm just happy your alive."

You spin between his legs and push up so you're facing him on your knees. The blanket falling to the floor. You cup his face with both hands as he looks up at you, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Make me forget Arthur"

"He frowns, "Y/N....I don-.."

You press your mouth to his to kiss him, he relaxes but still doesn't kiss you back.

"Please Arthur." You whisper against his mouth.

At that he kisses you back, hand coming up to tangle in your hair as the other wraps around your waist.  
You move to straddle his lap, but he stops you. You break from the kiss to look at him, confused.

"Not here" 

You nod, and he goes to stand, scooping you us bridal style and walking you to the small bedroom. He sets you down on the bed and begins to peel away your layers.

"I'll help you forget" his voice a deep whisper.


	4. Warmth at Colter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Chapter Contains smut.

"Make me forget Arthur"

"He frowns, "Y/N....I don-..."

You press your mouth to his to kiss him, he relaxes but still doesn't kiss you back.

"Please Arthur." You whisper against his mouth.  
At that he kisses you back, hand coming up to tangle in your hair as the other wraps around your waist.

You move to straddle his lap, but he stops you. You break from the kiss to look at him, confused.

"Not here" 

You nod, and he goes to stand, scooping you us bridal style and walking you to the small bedroom. He sets you down on the bed and begins to peel away your layers.

"I'll help you forget" his voice a deep whisper.

Your blouse is open, still around your arms but revealing your breast to him. You shiver as the cold air hits your nipples making them perk up at the chill. Arthur licks his lips before dipping down and capturing a hard bud in his mouth, tongue swirling around. You gasp at the sensation, the warmth spreading instantly through your body. His warm hand cups your free breast, thumb rubbing slow circles.  
He pulls off your nipple with a pop, laying slow wet kiss down your stomach, calloused hands sliding down your waist to your skirt. 

"Arthur take my skirt off." You command breathlessly.

"Ya sure? It's still pretty cold in here?" 

You nod helping him shimmy your skirt and drawers down your hips and onto the floor. Your completely bare beneath him as he slowly takes you all in.

"Ya so beautiful Y/N, gonna help ya forget everything." He dips his head pressing wet kisses on the inside of your thigh.

Slowly lifting your thighs he positions them over his shoulder. Holding your hips down with one arm.  
"So so beautiful..." He whispers before licking a long stripe up your pussy.

"Mmmh" is all you can manage as you snake a hand into his hair. Its longer now, your fingers able to tug at the locks. Making him growl into you as you do so.

"I missed this, I missed you." He whispers against you before sucking your clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue quickly against it.

You gasp at the feeling, your eyes fluttering closed, head tipping back.  
He keeps alternating between kitten licks and sucking on your clit until your hips are bucking into his mouth. One hand gripping his head, the other threatening to tear the sheets as you grasp them tightly.

"Stay still sweetheart." He clamps your hips tighter in place with his arm before continuing his onslaught of licks.

"-'M so close..." You manage as he holds you on the edge.

Two fingers circle your entrance gathering your wetness.

"Wanna feel you cum on my fingers" he says pushing past your opening curling them inside you and circling the spot he knows so well. 

He knows how to control your body, and you let him. Always happy to surrender to him.  
It's too much, you can't hold on, the coil pulled tight in your stomach.

"I... fuck...Arthur...I'm..." Your back arches as you cry out, thighs clamping his head to you.

He's lapping up your juices, feeling your walls pulse around his fingers. He's painfully hard, nothing turns him on more than watching you cum. He's rutting into the bed as you come down from your high.

"I've been dreaming o' that every night. Missed seeing you lose yer self like that."

You smile leaning up to kiss him as you unbutton his shirt. He leans back, quickly stepping off the bed to remove his jeans and belt. 

You stand up, enjoying the confusion on his face, it quickly disappears as you kiss him. The kiss deepens and you push him to sit on the bed.

"What are you...?" Quickly understanding what you intend to do his eyes widen. "Sweetheart your don-... -Oh fuck darlin''"

Eyes pinching shut he throws his head back as you wrap your mouth around his cock. Sliding him deep into your throat and back out.  
You pull back off him, a trail of saliva connects your lips to the tip. 

"Language sailor" you smirk. 

"Jeeesus darlin'" he shakes his head chuckling. His hand caressing your cheek.

You lick the tip before swallowing him down again, your hand grasping what you can't fit. Eyes never leaving his, enjoying seeing the lust in his eyes.  
Setting a steady rhythm with your hand and mouth it's not long before you feel his balls tightening against your chin telling you he's close. The hand on your cheek moving to wrap in your hair as he starts to thrust into your mouth.

"Sweetheart you feel so good.... fuck Y/N, no... I need..." His hand grasps your hair suddenly pulling you off him. He spins you onto the bed pinning your arms above your head.

"I need to cum in you" and with that he thrust into you.

You both sigh at the feeling. His head drops forward as he starts to fuck you into the mattress. 

"I'm not gonna last long" he grits his teeth. "Fuck! Ah! Missed you too much."

You nod your head. You weren't going to last either, your second orgasm already building.  
He releases your arms and grabs your hair angling your head back to gain more access to your neck. His tongue, teeth and lips marking you anyway he can.  
His other arm wraps around your waist and angles you up into him.

"Arthur I'm close!" The new angle causing him to feel so much deeper in you.

"Fucking cum for me darlin', cum on my cock." he pants into your neck. 

And you do, his words spurring you into your release. You're so far gone you don't even register him cumming inside you. His hips flush against you as he bites down onto your shoulder. Since your first night together you'd both assumed you couldn't get pregnant. Many times, he'd lost control and finished in you, but no baby ever happened. You both enjoyed the feeling so it's something you continued to do.  
You stroke his head, turning to kiss his cheek.

"Please don't leave me again." 

He lifts his head, beautiful blues eyes meeting yours. 

"Never again." He kisses you.

You both drift to sleep wrapped up in each other. You had him back and that's all you cared about. Whatever was next didn't seem so scary with him by your side. But of course, nothing could prepare you for what was to come. Even Arthur couldn't stop what was next.


	5. Misfortunes at Colter

The next few days passed by quickly. The atmosphere was tense, but everyone busied themselves with small jobs to keep occupied.

Arthur and Javier had been sent to find John, you'd protested at first about Arthur leaving so soon after getting back but one look at Abigail and Jack and you realized he was the best hope they had. They'd only been gone half a day before bringing him back bloodied and half eaten by wolves. Abigail was relieved, you all were, and little Jack hadn't left John's side since. Only Sean was yet to be found, you prayed he was okay wherever he was. Trying not to think about what could have happened.

By day five the atmosphere was getting to much for you to handle.

"Goddamn it!" You shove your bleeding finger into your mouth. Arthur's eyes shoot up to you from the gun he's cleaning on his lap.

"Y'okay?" He eyes the small specs of blood on the trousers you were repairing.

You sigh and nod, finger still in your mouth. Arthur smirks at the sight and focuses his attention back on his gun.

"Arthur I can't stand this." 

His eyes shoot back up to yours, an eyebrow cocked, "The sewing? I'm sure Grimshaw has a million other things lined up for you if you wanna do something' else."

"No, the waiting. Here. All of it."

The pressure had been mounting in you, it's was almost as if the finger prick was all that was needed to release what bubbled under your surface.

Arthur, realizing the seriousness of the conversation puts his gun on the table and crosses the room to crouch at your feet. Taking your hands in his he kisses your knuckles. 

"Sweetheart we're safe. Micah and Lenny are down South looking for a new camp. We'll be warm and free and forget all about this mess."

"And then what? Dutch gets bored of playing petty outlaw and tries another job like Blackwater?"

Arthur sighs deeply, "Blackwater was a mistake, I know, but Dutch ain't like that. He's just trying to keep the gang safe, fed, and together."

You shoot up snatching your hands from his. Arthur barely keeps his balance in his crouched position.

"SAFE!? Is that what he's doing, keeping us safe!?" You turn to leave.

He stands quickly and grabs your arm to stop you. His voice drops as if trying to calm a spooked horse. 

"Y/n, you know he never would have done a job like Blackwater had it not been for Micah."

"You weren't there Arthur. I don't recognize him anymore. He's changed. He left people to die. 'Save those that need saving and shoot those that need shooting'. Aint that what he always says? Well what about the kids on that boat Arthur? DIDN'T THEY NEED SAVING!?" Your eyes burn into his.   
"And where's Sean Arthur!? Is the gang all together now?"

Arthur sighs and looks away; he can't look you in the eyes. The truth is he agrees with you, he doesn't recognize the man that's been like a father to him. He's become reckless and greedy. Risking more than necessary and losing people in the process. He thinks of Davey who's not long since buried.

You shrug your arm from his grip. "Arthur, I know you're loyal to him, I am too. But right now, I'm scared. I don't think we can survive much more of this."

He looks at you but doesn't know what to say. Agreeing with you but not able to say it out loud.  
You sigh, not able to fight anymore. You notice how tired Arthur looks. His hair longer, the lines around his eyes deeper. This must be harder on him than most, he's hunting every day, guarding camp most nights. He's the protector and provider of the camp and bears a lot of the strain.

"I'm gonna take some time, try to get some rest." You push through the cabin door and straight into Dutch.

"Miss Y/L/N. Have you seen-?"

You push past him, he's the last person you want to see right now. 

"He's in there." You spit over your shoulder heading to the horses where you see Charles readying for a hunt.

No doubt Dutch has another errand for Arthur. You always knew Arthur was his right-hand man but sometimes Dutch was a downright slave driver. It was no secret that Dutch didn't approve of your relationship, stating that 'whores are the devil's distraction Arthur, they'll lure you away from what matters, trust me I know'. You scoff at the memory. You bet Molly would've loved to have heard that one, certain Dutch was referring to her.

"Grimshaw's yelling driven you into the cold?"  
Charles says as he finishing tacking up Taima.

"Something like that..."

"Well you're not missing much out here but Pearson's navy stories and Uncle's excuses."

"Actually I was wondering if I could come hunting with you? Be a nice distraction, whaddya say?"

Charles smiles knowing something was wrong and that you wanted to talk, he could read you like a book. 

"Sure, go grab your bow and I'll get Caesar ready for you."

Smiling you quickly gather your things, mount up and set off onto a trail.

Once your quite a ways from camp Charles draws up beside you.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Am I that obvious?"

He smiles, "An open book."

You sigh and begin to tell him about your fight with Arthur and your concerns about Dutch. Charles listened quietly, nodding and humming just letting you vent.

"...and now I just want to punch the moustache off of his face" you finish.

Charles bursts out laughing, clutching his stomach and leaning over his saddle.

You smile, relieved to have a friend like Charles. He understood the weight Arthur bared in the gang and always gave you advice when you needed to talk.

"Okay, now that's an image I'm never getting out of my head." He catches his breathe.

"I just-...." You trail off seeing the bush move to your right. Then to the left of Charles. Both of you falling silent and pulling your horses to a stop.

"Shhh, it could be a cougar." Charles whispers.

Two men on horseback appear from the bushes either side of the trail, four more appear behind on foot. Six guns are trained on you and Charles.

"Well, I'm no cougar but I do bite...." One of the men smirks. 

O'Driscolls.

"Y/N get out of here." Charles hisses but as you turn Caesar to flee to the side one of the men from behind jumps and grabs the reins, holding him in place.

"Uh uh, no you don't lady." He sneers.

"Now we were just coming to say hello, there's no need to be like that." The first man says as he dismounts coming towards you both. 

"My wife and I were just out hunting, we don't have any valuables on us"

You glance at Charles, why did he say that? 

"Now that's not necessarily true is it? Y'see, I t'ink you've got something valuable right here..." He stops by Caesars head eyes directly on you. 

“You can have our horses, just leave me and my wife be."

Why did Charles keep calling you that? 

And then you realized, just as the man confirmed your fears.

"You might wish she was your wife mister, but I know that this here is Morgan's whore. And I think ol' Colm would be quite pleased to see her "

Oh Shit. 

You don't see Charles being pulled from Taima until you hear him yell. He's quickly stripped of his weapons and pushed face first to the ground, a gun to the back of his head.

The man who seems to oversee the group continues, eyes still on you. "Now, I'm sure you don't want anything to happen to your friend here, so I suggest you come with us quietly".

You nod and dismount. Knowing when you're beat. You keep your eyes on Charles not knowing what to do next.

"Morgan ain't no fool, you're a real pretty thing." 

The man circles you, licking his lips and eyeing you like a prize cow. His gaze makes you feel naked, you pull your thick jacket tighter to yourself. 

"What do you want?" Your voice sounding much more confident than you actually are.

He stops circling, back in front of you. You get a good look at him. His smile crooked and dark hair limp to his shoulders. He has a scar that runs from the edge of his mouth, he looks like he's smiling even when he's not.  
His small beady eyes make you shudder.

"Well right now sweetheart, I'm thinking I want what Morgan's had." 

Your eyes widen as you realize what he means, you hear Charles roar and struggle against the man holding him down. 

"Leave her alone!"

He overpowers his captor briefly before another steps in. Jamming the butt of his gun into Charles head. 

You go to help but the man with the scarred smile grabs you, spinning you to watch as Charles is repeatedly hit with the gun.

"No! Stop please!" You watch as Charles falls limp to the ground unconscious. Blood staining the snow around his head.

You struggle pathetically against the man, sobbing at the sight of Charles.

The man leans into your ear, hand sliding over your mouth. "Shhhhh, sweetheart. I'll make you feel better." 

A few of the others chuckle. Your stomach lurches as he calls you sweetheart. Only Arthur called you that. Your blood begins to boil. You're angry. Angry for Charles, angry at Dutch, angry at these men, and angry that you left Arthur while fighting.   
You bite down on the man's hands.

"Argh! He instantly releases you; you stumble forward falling to your knees.

"You fucking bitch!" He yells, clutching his hand.  
Shit you didn't think this through.

You watch as he raises his gun, butt coming down against your temple.  
Then.  
Darkness...


	6. Fear in Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Trigger Warnings. This chapter has gore, panic attacks, and attempted rape.

Oh, good God, what is that ringing?  
You attempt to cover your ears, but pain floods your body.   
I can't move, why can't I move?  
You try to yell, "Mmmm, nuugh."  
"Oi look I t'ink she's waking up'   
Was that Irish? That can't be a good sign...  
"I think you hit her a lil too hard mate, she's been out for two days."  
"Shut it, that bitch bit me hard. 'Sides, was much easier to get her here while she was out."  
Two days? You force your eyes open, squinting as the light hits them. You wince, your head is pounding, and your ears are still ringing.  
"Go get Colm, tell him she's up." 

You hear someone leave. You blink to clear your vision trying to take note of your surroundings.  
Pounding head and no idea where I am. Probably got hit good on the head.  
No broken bones? Guess I didn't put up that much of a fight.  
Extremely thirsty? I've been out a while. What did they say, two days.  
Can't move? Gonna take a wild guess and say I'm not their guest.  
"Welcome back t' the land of the living."   
You squint and see a man sat on a chair. You're in a tent, not much different from the ones your gang used.   
...Your gang...  
Images come flooding back. Your argument with Arthur. The hunting trip with Charles. Charles on the ground.  
You feel yourself starting to panic, you struggle against your bonds despite the pain.  
"Let me go, please." You gasp for air, but you can't get enough.  
The man in the chair leans forward and smiles. "S'matter sweetheart?"  
"Ppp-lease, I can't b-breath." You start to cry as you heart begins to pound.   
I'm going to die, and this asshole is the last thing I see.  
The tent flap is thrown aside.   
"The fuck is going on in here!? "  
The man on the chair jumps to his feet, clearly fearful of the man's presence.  
"S-She...she...woke up Colm. Just started acting like that."

He shoves him aside and crouches in front of you. You're still gasping for breath as you meet his eyes.  
"She's having a goddamn panic attack! Get her some water!" He shrugs off his jacket and drapes it around your shoulders as best he can around your bonds.  
"Shhh, just breath. Watch me. In and out."   
You match his words and begin to feel oxygen match his words.  
"There you go, just like that. Good."  
"Please let me go." You whisper, still crying but able to breath.  
Colm frowns at you before standing. "Sorry kiddo, no can do. Yer too valuable. But don't worry, we ain't gonna hurt ya."

The man returns with the water handing it to Colm. You recognize him as the man who knocked you out. You glare at him hoping you can return the favour some time.  
"Here drink this, you've been out a while." He holds the water to your mouth.  
You hesitate, not wanting to cooperate with O'Driscolls. But God you were thirsty, so you gulp it down quickly. Spilling it down your chin.  
"Easy there, don't choke." Colm wipes the water from your chin gently. His eyes never leaving yours. You look away, feeling even more vulnerable in your current state.

You'd never met Colm before, but you'd had a couple of run ins with a few of his men. Usually ending in them getting killed. You knew him and Dutch had history, and therefore so did Arthur. You'd heard about Annabelle from Hosea and knew Dutch had killed Colm's brother. You began to worry if you were the next step in their retaliation.

"So, Y/N, I s 'pose you know who I am already but maybe not why you're here."   
You meet his eyes, glaring as best you can despite your headache. "Not at all, I thought we were gonna braid each other's hair and play house."  
Colm chuckles. "I can see why Morgan likes you, you're a real firecracker."  
You audibly growl at the mention of Arthur's name.   
"You're here because Dutch took someone from me. Someone valuable."  
"Only because you killed Annabelle!"  
"Is that what he told you? That I killed her first?" He smirks.  
"Who gives a shit who killed who first!? The way I see it you're even!"  
His smile widens. "Not quite, you see Y/N your dear leader Dutch robbed me blind when you all fled to Blackwater and I'm betting he'd only be willing to return it if he has a reason too. Since he has no one left I'll settle for his golden boy's lover."

You paled, if Dutch had taken the money to Blackwater there was no way of getting it back. None of you could go back there or you'd hang. You'd no doubt Arthur would risk it for you, but the thought filled you with dread.  
"You've got the wrong girl, Dutch doesn't even like me. He'll never give up the money."  
Colm doesn't seem too upset by this revelation still smiling as he turns to leave  
He stops at the entrance to the tent before adding over his shoulder. "Then I guess you were right, we are even. He can keep the money, I'll keep you."

One week has passed since you woke up in the O'Driscoll's camp. You knew you were far from the gang as you'd seen the mountains in the distance when you'd been allowed out to pee. From the landscape you judged you were somewhere in New Hanover. 

The men had kept their word and not harmed you, but their lecherous stares made you feel like a prey animal trapped by a predator. Just waiting for them to decide when they'd had enough and eat you. Colm had kept his distance since the first day, directing the men to put you to work but never speaking with you directly. You'd been hobbled like a horse to keep you from running and were always accompanied by someone, your mind constantly spins with plans of escape.

You were busy washing the dishes one evening when Colm and a few of his men returned cheering.  
"Get the whiskey boys we're celebrating!"  
You sighed, knowing this meant another night of cleaning up after drunk men. Setting down the dishes you lifted your skirts and walked as best you could back to your tent. Keiron, a young boy takes with your 'chaperoning' followed closely behind.  
"G 'night miss." He called as you crawled in, ignoring him completely and knowing he'd be outside your tent till morning.  
Sighing you lay back and close your eyes, imagining you're back in Blackwater with Arthur. Before things all went to shit. Arthur would crawl right alongside you, wrapping his arms around you until all you could feel was him. The memory makes you weep, as it did most nights. Burning your face in your pillow you cry yourself to sleep.

"Get out of the way kid, there's a lady in there that needs to be taught a lesson."  
"Colm said no ones to touch her!" Kieron's voice pulls you from your sleep.  
"What he don't know won't hurt him. Now MOVE!" you hear a body hit the ground and suddenly your tent flaps are thrown open.

A scarred smile and glazed eyes meet yours as your quickly shuffle back to get away.  
"There y'are girly. Think I'd forget what you did to my hand? Hasn't been right since, can't even rub myself properly because of it. Guess that means you're gonna have to do it for me."  
A wave of nausea rolls over you at the thought, you kick out and begin to scream. One hand muzzles you, the other grabs your roughly, his hips pin you as he crawls on top of you.  
"Morgan really does like em feisty. He really needed to fuck some manners into you though. Don't worry I'll break ye in for him." He fumbles with his jeans.  
Your eyes widen as you realize your pinned. Legs and arms try thrashing, your hips attempting to buck him off. 

He leans and licks your neck before growling in your ear, the smell of alcohol thick.  
"If you don't keep still ill knock you out again, I don't care if you're awake for this."  
You try to scream through his hand shaking, your head violently hoping to head butt him.  
"DARRON, you sick bastard!" A voice roars as the man on top of you is dragged backwards.   
Shooting up and scrambling quickly out of the tent you trip on your hobbles and shuffle back as quickly as possible. Stopping as your back hits a tree. Colm is holding the man by the hair as he kneels at his feet.

"I told you she's not to be harmed!" Colm yells, with an enthusiastic tug of the man's hair.  
"OW! Jaysus Colm I only wanted t' have some fun.' The man grins at you.  
Anger bubbles over in you and you push yourself to your feet, lunging at the man.  
"I'll fucking kill you! " you scream arms ready to choke him.  
Kieron swoops in stopping you. Colm sighs looking from you to the man at his feet. He reaches to his holster pulls out his gun and....  
BANG  
Darron falls limp to the floor, his blood and skull littering the floor.  
You fall silent, mouth open staring at the body, Kieron seems shocked too, his body going limp around you.  
"Clean up this mess, parties over boys." Colm wipes his hands on a handkerchief.   
He steps towards you, but you can't stop staring at the body.  
"Keiron, take Miss Y/N to my tent. She stays with me tonight."  
You're still in shock at Darron's death (no murder), unable to move.   
You drag your eyes to meet his. "Wha-...W-Why did you...?"   
"He broke the rules, he touched my things."   
You swallowed staring back at the body. You don't even realize Keiron is moving you.  
"C'mon Miss." His voice is shaking.   
He guides you to Colm's tent and sits you on the bed. Your numb, and stare at the floor.  
"I'm sorry about tonight. Try to get some sleep". You nod, not really registering anything.

Colm doesn't come to his tent that night, you're left alone staring at the floor. You don't move, just replay the scene over and over. You realize what Colm had said. The words he'd used. "He touched my things". The images swirling in your brain of Darron's exploded skull. You lean forward and vomit.   
I'm going to die here....


	7. Rage at Colter

"You weren't there Arthur. I don't recognize him anymore. He's changed. He left people to die. 'Save those that need saving and shoot those that need shooting'. Aint that what he always says? Well what about the kids on that boat Arthur? DIDN'T THEY NEED SAVING!?" Your eyes burn into his. "And where's Sean Arthur!? Is the gang all together now?"   
Arthur sighs and looks away; he can't look you in the eye. The truth is he agrees with you, he doesn't recognize the man that's been like a father to him. He's become reckless and greedy. Risking more than necessary and losing people on the process. He thinks of Davey not long since buried.   
You shrug your arm from his grip. "Arthur, I know you're loyal to him, I am too. But right now, I'm scared. I don't think we can survive much more of this."  
He looks at you but doesn't know what to say. Agreeing with you but not able to say it out loud.  
You sigh, not able to fight anymore. You notice how tired Arthur looks. His hair longer, the lines around his eyes deeper. This must be harder on him that most, he's hunting every day, guarding camp most nights. He's the protector and provider of the camp and bears a lot of the strain.   
"I'm gonna take some time, try to get some rest." You push through the cabin door and straight into Dutch.

Arthur's POV  
The door slams behind Y/N as he watches her go. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing.  
'Goddamn it Arthur.' He scolds himself for not speaking up.   
He'd just got you back and already he'd upset you. His old thoughts of self-doubt about not deserving you begin to resurface. The door reopens creaks back open

"Y/N I'm s-.... Oh Dutch, hey." Arthur deflates.  
"Trouble in paradise son?" Dutch chuckles.  
Son... He clearly needed something. "Dutch not now please, I gotta talk to Y/N." He makes for the door, but Dutch holds his hand on it.  
"Arthur, son this is about the gang. Its important Y/N can wait."  
"Dutch..."

" Arthur, we're in trouble. Y/N is going to vent with Charles. You can talk when she's cooled off." He drops his hand from the door.  
Arthur sighs defeated, pinching his brow again. "What is it Dutch?"  
"It's about the money, in Blackwater. The money we lost... It wasn't all of ours."  
"What d'you mean it wasn't all of ours Dutch? What did you do?"  
"I took what was owed Arthur, for Annabelle!"

Arthur's eyes widen as he realized what Dutch was implying. "YOU TOOK IT FROM COLM!?"  
Dutch flinches before composing himself. "We needed the money; we got the money. We..."  
"-...We lost the money! Dutch, do you think is gonna happen now!? Colm is gonna retaliate!"  
"I have a plan." Dutch held out his hands as if calming an angry animal.  
"You always have a goddamn plan. In case you forgot, that's why we're here.!" Arthur was seething, growling as he shook his head.  
"Arthur I don't have time to explain we're losing time. I just need you to trust me.  
"Mmmm..." Arthur growled again glaring at Dutch.  
"Arthur please, the gang needs you."  
Sighing Arthur pinched his brow again. "Jesus Dutch..."  
He paused before continuing. "Lead the way."

Two days later  
The job was a train, Arthur should have known, it was always Dutch's go to. Him, Bill, Micah, and Dutch held up a train, it had gone as planned but the law has chased them longer than anticipated leading them to a day of doubling back.

"So, cowpoke... Gonna go get your dick wet to celebrate? I don't know how you keep it in your pant around Y/N, if I.."  
"Shut. the. Fuck. Up. Micah." Arthur grits his teeth. Already sick of his shit.  
"Oh c'mon, I was only joking. But seriously she'd make a fine whore."  
Arthur loses it pulling out his revolver and whipping Bodecia around. The horse snorts in protest at the sudden jerk.  
"I swear to god I will blow your goddamn brains out!"  
Dutch calls back from ahead, "Will you two settle down, something ain't right here."  
Reluctantly Arthur unclicks the shot, glaring at Micah before turning his horse back around.

They're a few yards from camp, able to see the buildings up ahead. It's noon and normally everyone would be indoors eating lunch, keeping out of the cold, but instead they're outside. There's a frantic air to the camp, everyone is rushing, there's yelling.   
"Aw shit what is it now?" Arthur hears Micah groan behind him.  
Dutch kicks the Count on faster, Arthur close behind him. As the they close in on camp, he can see somethings wrong. Abigail is crying, Susan consoling her. John is out of bed despite his injuries standing over a table with Hosea, Pearson, Strauss, and Charles. All of them are laden with weapons. Ready for a fight.  
"They must have gone this way after" he hears Hosea say, they must be looking over a map. But why?

They dismount, walking to the table. Arthur feels the panic rise in his chest. His eyes begin scouring the camp, darting from figure to figure, but he doesn't see her. Charles lifts his head as he hears the group return. 

"He's back." Charles declares.  
Dutch is the first to reach them. "What's going on?"   
Charles eyes shift to Arthur's, a deep frown on his face. Arthur sucks in breath. Something isn't right. They all look up, faces deep with concern.  
"Arthur..." John starts.  
"Where's Y/N?" He cuts him off. He needs to see her first.  
"Arthur listen..." He continues.  
"John where is she!?"   
John looks to Charles, almost looking for him to continue. Charles' head has a nasty gash. Cleaned but still weeping and angry.  
"Charles what's going on." Arthur pleads, his chest rising and falling rapidly. "Please where's Y/N?"

Charles crosses around the table standing before Arthur. He grabs his shoulder holding him firm.  
"Arthur they ambushed us. I tried to stop them, but they outnumbered us. I said she was my wife, tried to protect her, but they knew who she was."  
"What're you saying?" Arthur's voice is low, dangerous.

Charles swallows before continuing. He knows that his next words will start a war. A war he doesn't know if they'll survive.  
"Arthur the O'Driscolls took Y/N."


	8. Revelations in Valentine

You wake up in a cold sweat from the same dream that's been plaguing you night after night. Arthur dead. Shot by Dutch as he stands laughing over his body. You try to run to him but are unable to move every time, you hated it.

As you wipe the sweat and tears from your face you remember where you are. The smell of sour vomit reaches your nostrils from the floor. Oh right, last night...

"Miss Y/N? You awake?" Kieron's calls from outside the tent. "Colm said I was to bring you breakfast."

You thought about ignoring him so you could be alone, but the thought of breakfast was welcoming. Especially considering you'd emptied your stomach last night.  
"Yea I'm awake."  
"Are ya decent Miss? May come in?"  
"Sure, I'm decent." Though you thought the term 'decent' only loosely applied to your current appearance.

Keiron was a sweet boy, he wasn't anything like the others, usually keeping to himself and tending to the horses. The days he was in charge of you you'd breathe a sigh of relief knowing he'd keep a distance and leave you to your chores.  
"Glad to see you're okay Miss, especially after....y'know..."  
"..after last night?" You finish.  
He sighs mournfully and casts his eyes down. "Yea...."

You're both quiet for a moment staring at the floor as you recount last night's events.   
You wish you could bathe to scrub away the memory of his hands on you. Unfortunately, your current living situation did not permit such luxuries.

Keiron breaks the silence first. "You sick Miss?"  
Raising your head you follow his gaze to the vomit on the floor.  
"Don't think so." You dismiss. Your eyes peeking at the bowl in his hand, stomach beginning to protest. "That stew?"  
Remembering why he was there he nods handing you the bowl. You take it graciously instantly digging in. The stew made Pearson's cooking look like fine dining, but you continued to wolf it down regardless.

"Colm said you're not to do chores no more."  
Spoon halfway to your mouth you pause. You narrow your eyes at Kieron, "Why?"  
"Said to tell you that you don't gotta worry no more. Said he's gonna take care of you now since your... well...y'know since..."  
You return the spoon to the bowl, your stomach clenching. "Since what?"  
Keiron shuffles, clearly uncomfortable.  
"Since what Keiron." You push.  
"Since you're his now.' He whispers.

Realization begins to dawn on you. Colm meant what he said last night, he was going to keep you. No longer a way to settle a debt, he had claimed you and the idea of escape was growing further and further away.

"Keiron, you have to help me get out of here." You shoot up and grab his arm, the remaining stew clattering to the floor.  
"Miss I'm sorry I can't, they'll kill me." He gently removes your hand, bending to pick up the bowl.  
"I don't belong here, I didn't do anything you know that." You follow him as he turns to leave.  
"Please stop Miss, if they hear you, who knows what they'll do to you. What they'll do to me."  
You follow him outside, pleading. "Please you have to help me."

You both stop dead, staring directly at Colm.  
"Help with what?" Colm eyes you both.  
You don't know how much he's heard and can't gauge his mood.   
You look at Keiron for help, but his eyes are wide not leaving Colm's, he's terrified. Clearly, you're getting no help there.  
You swallow, "Help with your tent... I- I spilled some stew in there and was sick. I didn't want you to be mad."

You cast your eyes to the ground, playing up to the lie. It's silent as you wait.  
Colm's hand cups your chin and raises your head so you're staring into his eyes.   
"My sweet dear, I'm not mad. I'm worried if you're sick. You're not sick, are you? His voice full of concern. "Besides, that tent is yours now too."  
You sigh, relieved he bought it.

His thumb begins to stroke your cheek.  
"So beautiful." He hums.  
Your eyes follow his as he looks to your mouth, tongue swiping over his lips as he starts to lean in.  
Your stomach churns with revulsion at the thought of kissing him.  
Wait.   
That's not all its churning with....

You surge forward pushing Colm aside.  
"Move!" You double over and begin to vomit violently. Colm crouches beside you and begins to stroke your back.  
"My dear I think you may be unwell."  
You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand nodding as you agree. You're never normally sick, you'd just assumed last night had been a reaction to everything but this morning there was no reason to feel this way.

Colm stands and turns to Keiron. "Keiron get my horse ready, I'm taking Miss Y/N to the Doc. And tell Robbie and Jimmy they're coming as look out"  
Keiron scurries off as you straighten, your nausea waning a little.   
Did he say you're going to the Doc? That was in town, right? Maybe this was your chance to get out.

The ride into town was uncomfortable as hell. Your hands were loose around Colm's waist, just tight enough to avoid falling off but keeping as much distance as possible between you both. The smell of his greasy hair was making your stomach protest again, but you swallow down the feeling. You had to stay focused, the town was maybe your only chance for escape.

As you enter Valentine, he helps you down, his hands lingering longer than welcome on your waist. You smile thanking him politely, still playing the part. If you were to have any chance at all of escape Colm had to think you weren't a flight risk. Your eyes scan the town plotting your next move. As your eyes sweep over to the General Store, seeking opportunities, someone leaves the door yelling a quick 'thanks' over their shoulder. Someone you recognize. Someone you know. Someone from your gang.

"LENNY!" You scream his name.   
His head snaps up in your direction just as Colm's hand clamps over your mouth pulling you tight against his chest.  
"Y/N!" Lenny reaches for his gun and begins running towards you.

He skids to a halt as Colm's gun levels with your head. Colm's men flank him drawing their guns as you struggle against Colm's grip.  
"Don't do anything stupid kid, we don't want anyone getting hurt now do we?" He growls at Lenny, gun pressed firmly to your temple.

Lenny lowers his gun, he's young but he's not stupid.  
"Y/N are you okay?" He asks with panic evident in his voice.  
You nod but Colm's grip tightens around you painfully.

"Kid you gotta leave if you know what's good for you and what's good for her.'   
"Just l-let her go Colm, she hasn't done a-anything!" Lenny stutters, unsure of how to proceed and worried he'll get you hurt.  
Colm laughs. "You're really playing with the big boys ain't ya son? This wasn't about right or wrong, this was about what was owed. But I, being the better man than Dutch, have decided to forgive his previous misdeeds. However, I've grown quite fond of Miss Y/N's company, so I've decided to keep Miss Y/N with me. She's mine now." He kisses your temple emphasizing his point.

You watch Lenny's eyes widen in horror. You begin to cry feeling helpless. Worried for Lenny and that he may not walk away from this. If Colm thinks he's a threat to revealing where they are, he'll never let him leave alive. Worried you'll never see Arthur again if he can't find you. Worried what will happen when Colm gets you back to camp since you tried to escape. You sob but Colm's hand still firmly clasped across your mouth muffles the sound.

"Now look what you did, you made my girl cry. I think it's time you left, don't you?"   
You try to nod your head as best you can, hoping Lenny will see sense and flee before they change their mind. He can warn Arthur, tell him where he saw you. Charles and Arthur were great trackers, they'll come for you. This could still work out.

"See kid, she agrees. Now get lost while your brains are still in your skull."  
Lenny locks eyes with you, conflicted at what to do. You plead as best you can with your eyes. Willing him to leave.

"Okay I'll go, but you know he'll come for her!" Lenny yells.  
Colm pauses and you can tell he's grinning ear to ear behind you.  
"Oh I'm planning on it. But tell Mr. Morgan, he's not going to want her back once I'm done with her..."


	9. Hope in West Grizzlies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is back to Arthur's point of view and takes place a few days before 'Revelations at Valentine' (part 8).

It's been over a week since they took Y/N and the gang has been on the move since. When Arthur heard what had happened it was like a switch flipped inside of him. Murderous rage ran through him, where he'd normally bare the weight of his kills and bad deeds, he knew now he'd kill whoever, whenever to get Y/N back.

The gang headed South following the trail as far as they could with Arthur and Charles taking the lead in tracking. The trail had gone cold by Cattail Pond so Hosea suggested they make camp while they figure out their next move.  
"Hosea we can't stop, Y/N is still out there!"

Hosea looked at Arthur taking in his appearance, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. His heart went out to the man who was like a son to him, in all the years he'd known him Hosea had never seen him so lost. Not even when Mary had left him. He places a hand heavy on his shoulder.  
"Son we've no leads and the gang need to rest; we'll regroup and search for leads in the morning. I have some connections in Valentine that can help us."

Arthur didn't like the idea of stopping, his mind was constantly plagued with thoughts of Y/N and what they may be doing to her. Deep down however he knows Hosea is right, they'd lose more time if they ambled around blindly, so he agrees.  
"Good, I'll go tell Dutch we rest here. Try to sleep Son, we'll find her." He pats Arthur's shoulder and leaves.

A few hours later Arthur's sitting by the fire sharpening his knife, he finds if he keeps his hands busy his mind gives him a moments peace.  
"How're you doing?" Charles takes a seat beside him, the beer bottles in his hand clinking as he offers Arthur one. He takes it silently; he's been drinking a lot since Y/N was taken as it numbs the pain and helps in sleep.  
"How'd you think?" He takes a long chug draining a quarter of the bottle.

There's a moment of silence between them, Arthur busy with his thoughts, Charles not knowing what to say next.   
"Arthur I'm sorry."  
Arthur lowers the bottle staring straight at him and chuckling, but there's no humor in his laugh. "If one more person tells me they're sorry for me losing Y/N I'll cut out their tongue."  
"That not what I meant. I....I'm sorry for not protecting her."   
Arthur stands and turns leaving, not wanting to talk anymore. "Charles it wasn't your job to, it was mine."   
"Arthur wait I.."  
He dismisses him with a wave of his hand before disappearing into to his tent.

The next morning Arthur is grabbing coffee as Dutch strolls over, cigar already burning between his fingers. It did t matter how early it was, the man loved to smoke.

"How'd you sleep son?"   
"Fantastic." He grits back sarcastically.  
"Good." He completely glosses over Arthur's tone. "Hosea sent Lenny into town this morning to speak to his contact but I was thinking it wise we lay low for a few days once we have the information. It's not safe for us this close to town, you understand."  
"Not happenin' "Dutch, I'm not wasting another day. God knows what the O'Driscolls are doing with her!" He practically growls. 

Arthur was a ticking time bomb of anger these days. Dutch takes a long drag from his cigar before continuing.   
"All I'm saying is we need a plan."  
"You and your goddamn plans Dutch, they're what got us into this mess in the first place. Y/N wasn't wrong you're gonna get us all killed with your damn plans!" His voice rising to a shout causing Charles and John to look over.

Dutch's face darkens, "She's bad news Arthur, can't you see she's turning you against your family!?"  
"She is my family!" Arthur's voice now causing everyone to stop and stare. Charles and John make their way over slowly, cautious at the change in atmosphere.  
"I'm your family and don't forget it! Maybe it's best we leave her where she is so you can remember that!"

Arthur loses it lunging at Dutch and grabbing his collar, pulling him close until their noses almost touch. Dutch is tall but Arthur's taller, his grip on his collar tight and choking him slightly.   
"Say that again." His voice dangerously low.  
"Arthur stop!" John yells as he tries to push the men apart.

Charles grabs Arthur's shoulder pulling him back and holding him in place, he's probably the only person strong enough to hold him. The men stare at one another, their chests rising in anger. The camp is silent following the outburst until the sound of thundering hooves breaks the silence.

"Y/N....I SAW...*gasp*...Y/N !" Lenny throws himself from his horse his arms and legs flailing as he stumbles over to the group.   
"In town...*gasp*...Y/N". He leans forward with his hands on his knees, trying to collect the breath he needs to continue.

The gang gathers around, startled by Lenny's sudden entrance into camp.  
"Breathe Lenny, what did you see? Hosea urges.  
"She's...in Valentine...with Colm, at the doctor's office."  
Arthur grabs Lenny eyes wide and wild. "Is she okay, what were they doing with her!?"  
Charles lays a hand on Arthur's shoulder silently telling him to let Lenny go.

Released from Arthur's grasp Lenny continues. "I was in the General Store talking to Hosea's contact. When I came out, I heard her scream my name but Colm grabbed her, stopped her from saying anymore. I had my gun out but there was three of them and I didn't stand a chance!"  
Arthur begins to pace, running his hands through his hair anxiously.  
"Go on Lenny." Hosea prompts eyes following Arthur back and forth.  
"Colm said he took her to get even."   
Arthur freezes, eyes meeting Dutch's and glaring. This was about the money. At least Dutch has the decency to pale.

"But then he said something else..." Lenny continues.  
"What did he say Lenny?" Arthur grits through his teeth. He's practically seething with anger and right now he's ready to shoot Dutch as much as he is Colm.  
"He said he didn't care about the money no more. Said he'd forgiven Dutch, but he was going to keep her anyway. Said she was his now..."  
"WHAT!?" Hosea, Charles, and John shout in unison.

Silently Arthur turns and heads to his horse, he's heard enough.  
"Arthur! Where are you going?" Dutch yells as him and the others March after him.  
Arthur doesn't stop just continues until he reaches Bodicea and unhitches her. "I'm going to get her back."  
The men are unhitching their horses and mounting up, already laden with their guns. Dutch swings his leg over The Count and pulls him level with Arthur.  
Arthur's head whips to the side. "What are you doing?"  
"I'm the reason she's in this mess, I'm getting her out of it."  
Arthur stares at him before silently nodding and spurring his horse on.  
"C'mon boys, let's go get our Y/N back!" Dutch calls to the men as they race forward after Arthur.

Arthur doesn't know what he's feeling at that moment other than rage. As he pushes his horse to the limits, he thinks over what Lenny had said. Colm said she was his... Images flash in his mind at what those words could mean, had they touched her? He spurs Bodicea on at the thought, she protests with a snort as her hooves continue to thunder at full speed. He couldn't risk Y/N slipping away, they'd finally seen her after a week, and they were so close.

Could he get to her before something happened? Something she couldn't recover from.


	10. Danger in Valentine

Hope.

That's all you've got right now. 

Hope that Lenny would tell the others where you were. 

Hope that Arthur would find you.

Hope that you could survive this.

Colm is eerily calm as you return to camp. Dismounting quickly, he leaves you standing there confused, he hasn't said anything about what happened and somehow this is worse than if he had. At least if he screamed or beat you, you'd know where you stood, but right now you're left wondering what will happen. 

Keiron approaches and begins silently untacking the horses, never once meeting your eyes. You see Colm talking to two of his men by the wagon, you don't know their names nor do you want to, they glance a you and nod as Colm turns and retreats to his tent.

The two men begin walking over, you recognized them as part of the group that kidnapped you, you instinctively take a step back fearful of the sly smiles on their faces. Maybe you could lose them if you run? You quickly scan the area looking for the best route to take.

" I wouldn't run, you'll just make it worse." Keiron says, not looking your way as he removes the horses saddle.

"Make what worse? What are they goi-...?"

"Colm said you're to come with us." The taller of the two men cuts you off as the other grabs your arm and begins marching you towards the river.

Your thoughts begin to race as your mind conjures every possible outcome. Were they going to drown you? As you draw level with the riverbank, they shove you forward and step back.

"Strip." The taller man commands.

"W-what?" you ask confused and beginning to tremble.

The shorter of the pair, who apparently acts as the muscle of the two, steps forward and grasps your blouse. In one quick move he rips it down the front revealing your chest.

"He said, strip bitch" he throws part of your torn blouse at your face.

"Oi Colm said not to touch her." The taller one warns.

"He also said not to take too long and she's being difficult." He glares at you while removing his pistol from the hostler around his waist. 

Pointing the pistol at your chest he continues. "I said... Strip." He clicks the hammer back.

Your fingers shake as you begin to remove your clothing, your eyes never leaving the gun trained on you. As you throw your skirt aside, you're left in nothing but undergarments.

" N-now what?" You curse yourself for not sounding more defiant.

This time the tall man responds, "Oh no lady. All the way." 

His smirk makes your skin crawl, but knowing your options are limited, you take a deep breath and close your eyes, removing what remains on your body. You stand before them as naked as the day you were born, arms wrapped around yourself as you try to retain any modesty you can.

The men stare for a moment smiling and licking their lips.

'Now get in." the short man nods towards to river. 'You're gonna make sure you clean yourself real good for him."

They wanted you to take a bath!? 

Well that was certainly not what you expected. Confused and unsure how else to proceed you turn and step slowly into the cold river. You gasp at first before sinking below the surface. You begin cleaning yourself as best you can whilst trying to forget about the two men watching you.

"Okay you're clean enough, get out and follow us." 

You step back to the bank bending towards you torn blouse and skirt. The short man yanks your wrist away. 

"Oh no you don't, come on." He drags you back towards camp naked and dripping wet.

So, this was your punishment. Humiliation.

Despite your best efforts to remain strong you begin to sob. Unable to cover yourself as the short man keeps a tight grip on your wrist, he drags you through the middle of camp. Wolf whistles and howls fill your ears as the O'Driscoll men stop of stare. Drooling like the dogs they were.

"Fine whore she is!"

"When's Colm going to let us try her out!?"

"Over here whore let me get a look at you!"

You're pulled to a stop outside Colm's tent. The short man releases your wrist and with rough shove he pushes you inside. 

Inside the tent you stumble to keep your balance, wiping your tears away you see Colm sat on the bed head down and hat covering his eyes.

"You clean?" he askes his head still down looking at the ground.

"T-They made me bathe in the river." You wrap your arms around yourself as goosebumps begin to cover your skin.

"I didn't ask that, I said are you clean?" he lifts his head and meets your eyes.

"I don't...I-... "You don't understand what he's asking.

Colm's face flashes with anger, he shoots up and strikes you across the face, snapping your head to the side with the force. You cry out grabbing your burning cheek.

"I said are you clean!? Or did that rat Morgan riddle you with disease?"

Your eyes widen as you understand what he is asking. Dread and fear flush your body and you realize why he is asking

"Colm please don't... I won't... I..." 

*smack*

He strikes you again, your lips splitting with the force. 

"I SAID...are you clean!?" his chest rising in anger.

You close your eyes knowing you can't escape this.

"yes." You whisper, tears falling rapidly down your cheek.

He's silent for a moment watching you. He raises his hand to your cheek; you flinch in anticipation of another hit. Instead he settles his hand on your cheek slowly wiping the blood from your lip with his thumb.

"You disappointed me today Y/N." his voice low.

"Colm I-..."

"Shhh" he coos.

Hand sliding to your neck he leans in and kisses a tear away from your cheek, but more continue to fall.

"Please let me go." You plead.

He draws back, his gaze travelling down your body as his fingers rub your neck. He licks his lips and shakes his head, eyes drawing back up to meet yours.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Y/N. You disappointed me today and you're going to make it up to me." 

His other hand slides around your waist, pulling you tight to his body. The smell of his greasy hair and foul breath flooding your nose. He starts to kiss your neck working his way to your ear. 

"You're going to show me just how good of a whore you are." He whispers into your ear, the fingers around your throat tightening painfully. You try to gasp for air, your hands clutch his wrist trying to pull free.

He chuckles at your efforts and shoves you onto the bed. He straddles your waist and pins your arms above your head as you try to kick and fight to free yourself.

"Keep struggling...I like it rough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't know if I see away out of this one for Y/N! Did Lenny get back in time to tell the gang? If you're enjoying the story so far let me know! I'd love to read your comments and thoughts :)


	11. Reunited in Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Implied rape, violence, and blood

"Please let me go." You plead.

He draws back, his gaze travelling down your body as his fingers rub your neck. He licks his lips and shakes his head, eyes drawing back up to meet yours.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Y/N. You disappointed me today and you're going to make it up to me."

His other hand slides around your waist, pulling you tight to his body. The smell of his greasy hair and foul breath flooding your nose. He starts to kiss your neck working his way to your ear.

"You're going to show me just how good of a whore you are." He whispers into your ear, the fingers around your throat tightening painfully. You try to gasp for air, your hands clutch his wrist trying to pull free.

He chuckles at your efforts and shoves you onto the bed. He straddles your waist and pins your arms above your head as you try to kick and fight to free yourself.

"Keep struggling...I like it rough."

______________________________________________________________________________

Sheer panic floods your body and your brain screams at you to get out. You're struggling with all your strength, but Colm doesn't budge, his rotten smile blurring as tears fill your eyes.

"You don't gotta make this difficult sweetheart", Colm grunts as he struggles to keep his balance and hold on you.

You continue to flail under him, your hips bucking to try and topple him. Arthur had taught you how to fight, so you knew in this situation your best hope was to use your position to your advantage. With a well-timed buck you nudge Colm forward, freeing a hand from his grasp as he tries to stop from toppling. You shift your weight and with all your strength you roll him off you and onto the floor. You waste no time and make to sprint from the tent.

"You fucking bitch!" Colm roars just as his hand clamps around your ankle.

You fall to the floor hard, not expecting the sudden restriction in movement. Colm is back on you in an instant and suddenly you're right back in the position you started. You sob as you realize how helpless you are.

"I've been so good to you and yet you continue to disappoint me." Colm spits, the anger evident in his voice.

You begin to struggle again, but Colm's had enough. He raises a hand and punches you square in the face, your head snaps back with the force and you hear to telltale crunch of your nose breaking. Tears and blood instantly begin to stream down your face as you fight to stay conscious, your body no longer fighting back. His fists rain down on your repeatedly, each blow masking the pain of the last.

"There you go, now lay back and enjoy." He pants, out of breath from the exertion.

His voice seems so far away, almost as if you are watching from above. You feel rather than see him unbuckle his belt and shuffle his trousers down. He curses to himself as he realizes he cannot hold you and undress as the same time.

Another blow to your head comes, this time to your temple.

"Stay still!"

Your vision begins to fade to black and you feel him stand to push down his trousers and underwear. In seconds, his weight his back on you, his voice close by your ear.

"I've been waiting for this for, you're going to feel so good wrapped around me."

Was this really happening?

You stop fighting your body, instead opting to fall into sweet, sweet unconsciousness. You are drifting into the welcoming blackness when you begin to hear gunshots.

"Shit!" Colm curses, scrambling off you to pull his pants back on.

You hear yelling and more gunshots as your mind claws its way back from the dark. You curl on your side and draw your knees up to your chest, head pounding from the blows and vision blurring further as one of your eyes begins to swell closed.

Colm peeks from the tent to see the chaos outside. Gun firing, men yelling and screaming, horses fleeing in panic.

"Shit he's here earlier than I thought."

Your mind swims as it tried to clear through the fog, but Colm's words stir something in you.

Arthur... he can only mean Arthur. He found you! Lenny must have told him you were in Valentine, and he must have tracked you here. You just have let him know where you are.

"Ar-ngggh!" the words come more as a gurgle as the blood and pain restrict your speech.

Colm whips his head to you realizing what you are trying to do. He marches over picking up his gun and grabbing your hair, pulling you up to stand. Your body protests in agony but he holds you tight to his chest as you both face the tent entrance.

"Don't do anything stupid." He whispers in your ear, gun trained on the entrance.

Outside the gun shots and yelling die down to an eerie calm. You hold your breath, listening, praying, waiting.

"Search the tents!" Dutch's tell-tale voice booms from outside.

You cry with relief, they are going to find you, you are going to be okay.

Suddenly, the flaps of the tent are thrown open and silver cattleman with deer engravings enters, followed by the looming figure of Arthur Morgan. Your Arthur Morgan.

His eyes widen as he sees you, naked, beaten, and in Colm's grasp with a gun trained directly on him  
His eyes widen as he sees you, naked, beaten, and in Colm's grasp with a gun trained directly on him.

"Y/N" he whispers.

Relief, fear, and anger all rushing out in his words. His gun levels straight at Colm's head.

"Don't do anything stupid Mr. Morgan, we'd hate for our little flower to get hurt." He affirms his point by clicking back the hammer of his gun and moving his aim, the gun now pressed to your temple.

"Give it up Colm she's comin' with me!" Arthur's voice seethes with anger.

"Are ya sure you want her back now? She aint exactly been loyal should we say, gave me quite the ride."

You try to shake your head, eyes never leaving Arthur's, tears stream down your face mixing with the blood that drips from your wounds. Arthur's chest is rising rapidly with anger he takes a step forward, gun still aimed at Colm.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!?" he booms. His voice so loud and angry you flinch.

Colm simply laughs, "Nothing you haven't already done, now if you want her back alive you can have her. I've had all she's good for. But you're gonna have to point that gun somewhere else."

Arthur is silent a moment as he considers his options. He's a fast shot, but even he doesn't think he can make the shot on Colm safely. Sighing in defeat Arthur drops his aim. His eyes never leaving your beaten face. He throws his gun to the ground.

"Alright." He sighs, raising his hands in surrender.

"Good, now Y/N, be a dear and relieve Mr. Morgan of his other weapons." He shoves you forward towards Arthur. His gun quickly aiming at your back.

Your eyes on Arthur, you're frozen, unsure what to do. You don't want to leave him defenseless, who knows what Colm will do?

"It's okay, sweetheart. Just do as he says." His voice quiet, trying to calm you.

You nod and step towards him, wanting nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his chest. You slowly begin to unbuckle his belt, your trembling fingers making it harder. His head is low watching you, his eyes scanning across your face, mapping your injuries. You release the holster from his waist and hesitate before bending to his thigh to remove the knife strapped there.

"N-n... now what?" your voice trembles eyes meeting Arthur's.

"Now raise your hands and slowly walk backwards to me." Colm commands.

You look to Arthur for reassurance, he nods again at you to do as he says. You slowly step backwards towards Colm, arms in the air mirroring Arthur's.

"Good, now keep 'em raised." He presses his gun into your shoulder while his left hand reaches and relieves you of Arthur's weapons.

"Now let her go Colm, I wont chase you." Arthur grits through his teeth.

"Oh, I know you won't, you'll be too busy." Colm sneers.

A gun is fired, you flinch at the sound.

Suddenly, you feel yourself being shoved forward. Arthur is yelling and rushing towards you, his eyes wide in panic. It all seems in slow motion and you don't understand what is happening. A burning pain shoots through your shoulder, you raise a hand to grab it, hoping to relieve the pain but more floods through your body as you touch it.

Arthur's arms wrap around you, lowering you to the ground his eyes still wide with panic, he's saying something, but it sounds like he's in a bubble. His hand removes yours from your shoulder, replacing it with his. You wince as the pain continues but you're relieved to finally be in his arms. You don't understand why Arthur looks so scared, so you raise your hand to his face to comfort him, wincing as your shoulder protests.

Your hand is covered in blood, who's blood is that? Why is Arthur crying?

You try to speak to comfort him, to ask him what is wrong, but no words come. You're suddenly aware of others in the tent but your vision is fading

. Arthurs eyes are the last thing you see before darkness swallows you.

A/N: I've tried to add images to enhance the reading, i know some of them aren't exactly as described in the story but I thought it'd still be nice to break up the text. Let me know what you think :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst! But, hey- Arthur is back, yay....  
> Let me know your thoughts :)  
> Did you guys have a good Christmas?
> 
> Enjoying the story so far? A coffee is always appreciated to help me write.   
> ko-fi.com/belladrox


	12. Healing in West Grizzlies

Arthur's POV

The gun shot rang heavy through the air.

Your eyes wide as Colm thrust you forward, blood beginning to pool from you shoulder. He'd shot you.

"Y/N NO!"

Lunging forward Arthur wraps his arms around you, gently laying you down, his world laying in his arms as you begin to bleed out. 

"Stay with me Y/N, you're gonna be ok, I gotcha!" he's yelling but he doesn't think you can hear him.

Arthur sees your eyes are dazed, unfocused, he moves your hand and presses his own to the wound to stop the bleeding.

"Please don't leave me." His eyes prick with tears as he watches you fight to stay conscious.

Your bloodied hand cups his cheek, even in pain you're trying to comfort him

Dutch, Charles, and John rush into the tent, following the noise, stopping in their tracks at the scene before them. Charles is the first to act, dropping beside Arthur he pulls rags from his satchel.

"She's going to be ok Arthur; we just have to stop the bleeding." He speaks calmly, moving Arthur's hand aside and pressing the rags firmly against the hole.

Arthur shrugs of his coat, gently laying it over you as best he can to protect your modesty.

"I can't lose her Charles, she's all I've got." His hands clasp around her bloodied one, now limp as you slip into unconsciousness.

Arthur misses the face Dutch makes as he speaks but John doesn't, he glares at Dutch. Charles had told him why him and Y/N were out that day, and like Arthur he didn't want to believe it, but seeing Dutch's reaction he realizes that Dutch wants nothing more than for him and Arthur to be at his beck and call. No women, no distractions, just Dutch and the gang.

"Where's Colm?" Dutch asks, eyes scanning the tent.

"Fled out the back after he shot her" Arthur replies, his eyes not leaving your face.

Dutch sighs, disappointed to have missed an opportunity to end Colm, reaffirming his belief that you are a distraction for Arthur.

"Go get the horses, we have to get her back to camp quickly." Charles commands the two men.

Arthur, thankful for his friend's level head, gently wraps you in his jacket and lifts you tight to his chest. Laying a kiss on your forehead he makes a silent prayer, he's not a religious man but right now he'll pray to any God who'll listen that you'll be okay.

Three days later

"Arthur, you should get some rest, I'll keep an eye on her." Abigail's voice is full of concern for him as she mops your brow. 

The men got you back to camp swiftly, Reverend Swanson moving faster than he had in years, setting upon you instantly stitching the wound closed. You had remained unconscious over the past few days, only waking briefly as a fever set in, talking nonsensically as you fell into delirium. 

Arthur hasn't left your side since getting you back.

"Thanks Abigail but I'd rather be here incase she wakes up again." His hand still holds yours as his thumb rubs soothing circles across your knuckles.

You seem so small laying on the bed, his eyes sweep over your body taking in your features once again. Your face is flushed from the fever, sweat beading on your brow as Abigail mops it away. His eyes trail down the curve of your neck and over your chest. Arthur watches as it rises and falls with your shallow breaths, he glances over your wound, frowning as he takes in the puckered skin that still weeps angrily.

"Where is he?" Susan's voice interrupts Arthur's musing as she thunders into the tent. "Mr. Morgan, there you are! Now get up, I'm sick of seeing you in that bloodied shirt, you stink to high heaven."

"Miss Grinshaw, I..." He beings to protest but is interrupted as Susan yanks him from the chair by his ear.

"No excuses! Bath. NOW!" She drags him outside without a second thought. Abigail smirking at the pair as they leave.

Outside Susan drags Arthur to the water she has prepared, releasing his ear only when she's sure he won't flee.

"Strip." She orders, placing her hands assertively on her hips.

Arthur growls before conceding defeat, peeling his bloodied shirt over his head, and scooping the water over his tired muscles. 

"Don't forget behind your ears, c'mon chop chop."

Sighing Arthur shakes his head before dunking himself face first into the water. 

He takes the towel Susan offers rubbing his head and body. 

"Well Mr. Morgan you certainly have grown into a fine man." Susan remarks, her hands still on her hips.

A blush erupts across his face and he begins to choke.

She dismisses him with a wave of her hand, "Oh shush Arthur, I just mean you've grown up is all. I'm glad you found a woman like Y/N. You deserve some happiness, especially after that nightmare of a woman Mary."

"Miss Grimshaw..." Arthur warns.

She waves her hand dismissing him again, "You know how I felt about her, I'm just saying that Y/N is twice the woman she was, and she cares for you deeply." 

He nods, his eyes cast down as he remembers your first night together. A smile creeps across his face at the memory, how nervous he was, the stargazing, how you felt under him. He's lost in his memories when Abigail yells.

"SHE'S WAKING UP!"

Arthur reacts instantly, dropping the towel he sprints into the tent just as you're trying to push yourself up. You wince, instantly falling back on the bed.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart. Don't try to move" he gently cups your face. 

You seem confused by your surrounds, your eyes darting around the tent until they fall on Arthur's face. He sees you instantly relax as you lean into his hand. 

"Arthur..." your voice is scratchy as you speak for the first time. His heart is bursting with relief that you are awake. He shushes you, wanting you to conserve your energy.

"Shhh sweetheart, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ugh, i really dont like this chapter- sorry it's not very good :'( I had to get to the next part and this was more of a bridge chapter to get there. I promise the next few chapters will be better :(


	13. Scars on West Grizzlies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur helps you with your insecurities about your new scar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains smut (fingering)

You stand topless staring at the puckered weeping skin in disgust, sighing deeply as your fingers ghost over the stiches feeling the raised ridges. It's going to be an ugly scar. Twisting in the mirror you look over your shoulder to stare at the entry wound, its smaller but no less angry looking. You'd never considered yourself vain but as you take in your new features that will always be there to remind of what happen, you realize you are starting to look like the outlaw people saw you as.

Arthur had always hated his scars, a fact you never understood until now, you found his cute, only adding to his rugged features, but you found each time you'd compliment them or trace them he'd gently move your hand or brush you off with a simple 'Nah, I aint worth looking at, but you...' often followed with him smothering you in kisses as he wraps you in his arms. Now you understood. Scars were memories of the past, a constant reminder of what you had survived. For better or worse. 

Lost in your memories you jump as a pair of strong arms circle your waist; a soft chuckle tickles your ear as a kiss presses to your neck.

"Sorry darlin', didn't mean to startle ya." He smiles, eyes meeting yours in the mirror as he kisses the top of your shoulder. 

"Whatcha doin' in here?" he asks, continuing to pepper kisses along your shoulder and up your neck.

You wrap your arms around his and sigh. "Just looking at the mess Colm made of me."

He slips his arm from yours and slides your long Y/H/C hair over your uninjured shoulder. Making sure to maintain eye contact he presses a long kiss to your shoulder, just above your wound. His fingers ghost over you skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, slowly edging past your breasts until they reach your front wound. It amazes you how someone as big as him can be so gentle, yet you barely feel his touch as his calloused lightly trace your wound. 

"I don't see a mess I see a beautiful survivor" he breaks eye contact to press and open mouth kiss below your ear. 

You sigh at the kiss, about to protest but his hand ghosts back down to your nipple, barely making contact he brushes lightly over it. Your breath hitches as he continues tracing around the hardening bud.

"I see my beautiful Y/N, strong, and powerful." His fingers continue lightly over your stomach as his lips trail wet kisses over your shoulder. 

You lean your head relaxing into his touch, you loved when he played you like this, barely there touches and kisses in places that had wetness pooling in your underwear. He knew your body better than you did and he could always use it to his advantage. Arthur's eyes catch yours in the mirror and he smirks, knowing he's got you where he wants you. Seconds away from begging.

"I see a woman who knows how to fight." He continues as his other arm dips below the waistband of your skirt and down to where you need him most.

His fingers slowly glide over the growing wet patch, he hums, a knowing smiling creeps across his face as he stares at you in the mirror. His blue eyes almost blown black with lust.

"I see a woman who has survived so much." He continues his onslaught of kisses, eyes never leaving yours. 

His switches to your other nipple, slowly tweaking and pulling the bud. His nimble fingers pull your underwear aside, rubbing along your folds and gathering your wetness. 

"Arthur please" you're practically panting.

He chuckles at your neediness.

"So beautiful." He purrs as he dips two fingers into your heat. Slipping past your entrance with ease he curls them to where you need him most, working you higher and higher.

Your breath hitches as his thumb presses over your clit. His callouses add to the sensation as he begins to rub tight circles. He's working you so quickly to the edge, your head falls back onto his chest as your eyes flutter shut as the pleasure builds inside you. 

He ceases his movement, your eyes spring open as you whine at the loss of sensations.

"Eyes open sweetheart, I want you to see how beautiful you look when you cum for me."

You meet his eyes in the mirror again. Oh how you were going to kill him when you were finished, but you nod, sighing contently as his fingers continue in their steady rhythm.

"Good girl." He smirks. "Look at how beautiful you look, flushed and about to cum."

He works you quickly back to your peak, the coil in your belly tight and ready to snap. Your breathing is rapid as his arm tightens around your waist, his bulge presses to your behind letting you know just how turned on he his.

"Cum for me Y/N, let me see you." He breathes in your ear.

As if his words were the permission you need the coil snaps and you cum, the pleasure shooting through you as you pulse around his fingers. His eyes are drinking you in as he continues to work you through your high.

His hand clamps over your mouth, quieting the pornographic moan that begins to slip from your lips. You're in camp after all and as much as he loves hearing you moan, he's selfish in not letting anyone else hear them.

"Good girl. Shhhh. So good for me Y/N." He whispers praise in your ear as he brings you down from your high.

Once he's sure he's pulled every possible drop of pleasure from you he pulls his hand free and turns you around, wrapping you in his arms. You bury your face in his chest, breathing in his scent that brings with it the promise of safety. His lips press to the top of your head as he hugs you.

"Thank you, Arthur." 

"Anytime." He chuckles.

You stand like this for some time, both of you enjoying the feeling of the other's arms. Arthur is the first to pull away, his hand dropping to rearrange the painful erection he's still in possession of.

"Need a hand?" you raise your eyebrow, smirking. 

"Nah, this was about you. 'Sides we got work to do." He shuffles his jeans to a more comfortable position.

"Work?" your brows furrow as you reach for your shirt, pulling it over yourself.

"Yea, we're moving down to a place called Rhodes. Dutch thinks we can lay low down there for a while, maybe even make a permanent camp."

While you highly doubted anything Dutch planned anymore you allowed yourself a brief moment of hope that you and Arthur could start to build some roots in a place. Like a real couple, not outlaws.

"Sounds like a plan." You smiled, allowing Arthur's hand to entwine in yours and lead you outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: okay, I actually had no intention of this being a smut chapter but then Arthur walked in and the whole thing went to shit. Hopefully you enjoyed!   
> I want to hear your feedback on the story so far! What do you like?   
> What don’t you like?   
> Where would you like to see the story go?


	14. New Hope in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang move to Rhodes for a new start, but old feuds threaten the peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warnings, panic attacks.

The move was surprisingly smooth, Susan barking orders at everyone ensured that you all stayed on track. Arthur, however had not left your side since getting you back, not allowing you to lift anything heavier than a bowl of stew.

"Arthur, I'm fine, I can help set up our tent at least." You protest as he scoops the bed roll from your arms. 

"Ya aint healed yet, just sit and relax, and let me take care of you." He smiles at your pouting, press a kiss to your forehead before setting the bedroll in its place on your shared cot.

"I'm not a cripple Arthur, I want to be useful." You cross you arms, frustrated that you feel like a burden.

He finishes straightening the blankets before he stands and takes your hands in his.

"You are useful, I'm just giving you a chance to heal properly. 'Sides, you're looking a little pale, you sure you're feeling okay?" his brow furrows as he scans your face, his palm coming up and stroking your cheek.

"I'm fine Arthur, you're paranoid." You lied. 

The truth was you had felt nauseous again this morning but hadn't said anything for fear of Arthur practically putting you on bedrest. You hadn't told Arthur about why Colm had taken you into Valentine the day Lenny found you, opting to keep that information quiet as you were sure it was nothing.

"Arthur!" Pearson calls, interrupting Arthur's inspection and walking over. "Was wondering if you could head into town and pick up a few things?" 

"Goddamn it" he whispers to you as you giggle. "Can't John do it?"

"John's out already, Dutch said to send you."

"I bet he did..." he mutters to himself. "You gonna be okay for a bit? I should only be an hour." He asks you.

"I'll be fine Arthur, just hurry back." You smile, stepping on your tip toes and pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"You heard the lady, get going." Pearson says leading Arthur away as he rolls his eyes at you with a smirk.

You wave him off with a giggle, listening to Pearson reel of a list of items, knowing Arthur will be cursing to himself as the list grows longer. Although you hated being apart from Arthur, him going into town afforded you the opportunity to try and help with chores. You really did hate feeling like a burden to you set off in search of Susan to offer your services.

It doesn't take you long to realize that Arthur was one step ahead of you, clearly having warned the whole gang about putting you to work. You'd spent half an hour asking everyone if they needed anything, but no one was willing to let you help, telling you to rest, and take it easy. You were ready to scream in frustration, instead opting to return to your tent to unpack your things. As you cross by Dutch's tent to yours, you catch his attention as he sits with Micah.

"Miss Y/L/N won't you come here a moment?" he beckons you over, his signature cigar hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Everything okay Dutch?" you walk over, your fingers beginning to play with your skirt. The man had welcomed you to the gang, gave you a home, and for that you were thankful, but since Arthur made his feelings for you clear he had labelled you a distraction. You did not feel like having a conversation with him, especially not with Micah there.

"Come take a seat, I owe you an apology." He motions to the seat opposite him.

Well, that was not what you were expecting...

"Apology?" You take the seat hesitantly, subconsciously shuffling the chair further from Micah.

He considers you for a moment, taking a long drag from his cigar, blowing the smoke from the side of his mouth.

"Yes, I've been unfair. I thought you would be a distraction to my son, but I see now how much he cares for you. You make him happy."

Okay what the hell was going on? You frown, confused at Dutch's sudden change of heart, as he continues.

"I hope you'll forgive me as I need your help." He leans forward, taking your hand in his, like the gentleman he pretends to be.

So, he needed something, at least the apology made sense now.

"What do you want Dutch?" you try to keep up appearances but your smile faulters.

"I need you to tell me everything that happened while you were with the O'Driscolls, if we're going to beat them, we'll need all the information we can get."

You rip your hand away standing quickly and startling Micah.

"BEAT THEM!? This feud between you both is going to get us all killed Dutch!"

"Not if we act first Y/N, strike Colm while he's not expecting it!" he stands, walking around the table to you and taking your hands firmly in his. The smell of the cigar between his lips burning your nose.

"I know he hurt you." His voice dropping to calm you down. "Help me take Colm down for what he did to you."

Your eyes are welling up as memories begin to resurface, you shake your head, both to tell Dutch no and to fight the images in your mind.

"Tell me what he did to you, tell me what you know." Dutch pushes, his hands tightening painfully around yours. 

You're becoming overwhelmed by the memories as they rush back to the front of your mind. Colm's hands. His mouth. His fist. The pain. The humiliation.

"Maybe she liked it, that's why she's not willing to give him up." Micah sneers but you barely hear him as you begin to gasp for breath.

"Shut up Micah!" Dutch snaps as he helps lower you to the ground.

Micah rolls his eyes and turns to leave, already losing interest in the conversation.

"All I'm sayin' is she seems pretty intent on not helpin'." He spits over his shoulder as he walks away.

"Ignore him. Y/N I need you to focus, try to tell me if Colm said anything, maybe where they were going next?" he's crouched in front of you as you grasp your chest, fighting to breathe.

"I-...I can't b-bre-." you stutter.

"THINK Y/N!" he grasps your arms, a manic look in his eyes.

Dutch's yelling attracts the attention of Hosea who is reading nearby, as he looks up from his book, he notes your distress, instantly rushing over.

"The hell is going on Dutch!?" he crouches by you, a protective around coming around you only adding to the smothering feeling in your chest.

"She knows things and she's not telling me! She's working with them." He points with his cigar, hot ash flying, as he jabs in your direction.

"What are you talking about!? Can't you see she's frightened?" he rubs your arms as your breaths become more rapid. "Take a walk Dutch." He urges.

Your vision is blurred with your tears, and their voices muffled as your ears begin to ring. You feel like you are going to die, not enough air is getting to your lungs and your chest is tightening painfully.

"Y/N, dear you have to breathe, what's wrong?" Hosea's voice is laced with concern.

You start to shiver as sweat builds on your neck. Hosea turns as he hears a yell. It's Arthur, back from town to find you on the floor, sobbing and gasping for air. He jumps from his horse and rushes over.

"Y/N! What's going on? What happened?" His voice quiet as he drops to one knee in front of you.

"She was talking to Dutch about Colm and then she got like this."

He scoops you into his arms, drawing you close to his chest.

"Y/N breath for me, talk to me. What's going on?" his voice slow and steady, helping to centre yourself.

You curl into his chest, feeling the heat from his body. You place a hand on his heart, feeling his heartbeat, trying to match your breath to his. You ground yourself in his scent, letting it wrap around you. Whiskey, pine, tobacco, and him. He's here and you're safe.

Arthur walks you back to your tent, opting to sit on the cot with you curled up on his lap. He holds you close, stringing his hand slowly up and down your back. He doesn't speak, instead he hums, gentling rocking you, trying to bring you back to him. 

"Arthur." You murmur into his chest and feel him sigh in relief.

"There she is." he presses a kiss to the top of your head, smoothing down your hair with his hand.

You pull back from his chest to meet his eyes, breathing deeply as glorious air fills your lungs. His eyes are filled with concern, but he smiles, a thumb coming up to wipes away your tears.

"Welcome back."

"I-I was talking to Dutch...He wanted to know about what happened with Colm, he thought I knew something that could help us get even."

You feel Arthur growl in his chest. Since getting back to camp, the tension between Dutch and Arthur was clear. Something had change in their relationship.

"I don't want to get even Arthur; I want to get out." You bury your face in his neck, feeling the scruff of his beard tickle your cheek.

"I know sweetheart, I know." 

Seeing you today Arthur had made the decision in his mind already. One way or another he was getting you out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I promise I don't hate Dutch as much as it's coming across. Yes he's a dick at the end of Red Dead but I genuinely like him at the beginning.


	15. Old acquaintances in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dutch and Arthur come to blows and an old friend (?) turns up.
> 
> ...and yes, I do suck at summaries ;)
> 
> If you want to view this story with images follow me on Wattpad!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!  
> I hope you and you’re families are safe and happy in 2021

Arthur's arms are wrapped around you, your head safely nestled on his chest. He looks so at peace when he sleeps that you could stare at him for hours. His face, lightly dusted with 5 o'clock shadow, looked angelic, his scars perfectly framing his rugged features. Arthur was a large guy who could, and often did, instill fear in any man he wanted to but to you he was gentle, soft, and sweet. You press a light kiss to his chest as you remember how he soothed you yesterday, his arms instinctively tighten around you. 

As you settle back against his chest you're struck with the sudden urge to pee.

"God damnit." You mutter to yourself. Why was it always when you were so comfortable?

Sighing, you untangle yourself from Arthur, maybe if you're quick you can get back in bed before he's up. Pulling on your clothes you pad quickly from the tent in search of relief.

"Morning Y/N. How're you feeling after yesterday?" Abigail asks, pouring herself a coffee by the fire.

"Better thanks."

"Dutch was outta line yesterday, you've been through enough." She comes closer cradling her coffee in her hands. 

Glancing around to ensure no one can hear she leans close, you can smell the coffee in her cup, scrunching your nose as the smell sets your stomach churning. 

"Look, John told me, him and Arthur have been talking about Dutch. They're worried about the way he's acting, John said they're planning on getting us out. Starting fresh just the five of us, or maybe with a few of the others if they want."

Your eyes widen, Arthur wanted out too? 

"We'll talk more later, I gotta go get Jack up. Just keep your head down." She smiles at you before heading over to her tent.

As fresh start. You'd been dreaming of this for so long, long before Blackwater, long before Colm, long before realizing Dutch had changed. Fear of what would happen to Arthur if he continued as Dutch's right hand man had outweighed your own selfish desires to live a normal life with him. A life where you and him could own a small home, with your own land, maybe even get a dog. Your domestic dream had been just that, a dream, but now Arthur wanted out too. You mind races as you stand by the fire.

"Earth to Y/N?" Lenny waves his hands in front of your face, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his eyebrow raised in confusion

You realize you must look crazy, stood alone, staring into the distance, at first the crack of dawn.

"Peeing!" you blurt out.

Lenny's brows shoot up as his eyes widen and a blush creeps up his face.

"I mean I just came out to use the outhouse. Excuse me." You rush away, leaving him confused.

Hopefully, you can relieve yourself quickly and talk to Arthur before everyone is up.

Walking back to camp and mulling over what you know you begin to hear raised voices. Someone is clearly arguing. What now? You groan to yourself and pick up the pace.

"Stay the hell away from Y/N!" Arthur's voice booms.

"I told you son, I'm sorry, you have to calm down!" 

"Calm down, calm down!? Did you see the state she was in? You did that to her, and for what? So, you and that son of a bitch Micah can go running off to kill Colm?"

"He deserves to die for what he did to me, and now for what he did to Y/N." Dutch grits through his teeth.

"She aint ready Dutch."

You push past Karen and Tilly to see Arthur and Dutch facing off like two alpha males in the middle of camp. The whole gang now apparently awake and watching the exchange nervously.

"Damn, I aint ever seen Arthur go at Dutch like this before. Honestly, it's kinda hot." Karen remarks to Tilly who quickly shushes her.

"You're going soft Arthur; you know that we have to strike now, or we'll never get the chance. You've only started questioning me since she came along."

"Y/N has nothing to do with it, you're becoming reckless Dutch, like an old fool, and it's gonna get us all killed!"

Dutch grabs Arthurs shirt pulling him close, his lip curling in anger.

"Watch how you speak to me son. She's filling your head with nonsense, and I won't stand for it any longer."

You have to put a stop to this; you can't stand the thought of them arguing over you but as you run forward you feel yourself yanked backwards by an arm as John's voice rasps in your ear.

"Don't. This needs to happen."

And so, you watch from John's grasp. Helpless to the powder keg that threatens to explode in front of you.

"Let go of me Dutch before a do something I regret." Arthur's tone is dangerous.

Letting go of Arthur he steps back, arms outstretched in a cockiness only Dutch could pull off. 

"Something you'll regret? Go on then Arthur, let's settle this. Draw your gun..."

"NO!" you scream and struggle from John's grip. Pushing yourself in front of Arthur and grabbing his arms.

"Arthur, please stop this. This is insane!"

"Y/N, move I'm finishing this." His eyes don't leave Dutch as he growls.

"Arthur, no you can't!" you plead.

"John, get her out of here!"

You see John walk over ready to pick you up. You had to put an end to this, they were going to kill each other. Thinking quickly, you spin and face Dutch.

'I'll help you! Dutch, I'll tell you everything. Anything you need to know."

"Y/N you don't..." Arthur begins but you cut him off.

"I mean it. Everything Dutch, let's end this feud once and for all."

Dutch doesn't say anything at first, he just regards you with a curiosity.

"Well, it's what you want isn't it?"

He strokes his moustache, nodding slowly, still watching you.

"Then let's stop fighting and I'll help you end this." You stare him down. 

"And when we end it? What then?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. So, what do you say?" your voice steady and determined.

Slowly, his hand raises to yours. You shake it, feeling like you're making a deal with the devil.

The gang begins to disperse. Dutch heading to his tent, no doubt to begin planning his next steps, only John and Abigail remain behind, and Arthur. Arthur who is looking at you with concern.

"Y/n, you didn't have to do that. I had it handled!"

"You were going to kill him Arthur." You deadpanned.

"What do we do now?" John asks.

Arthur slings his arm around you, drawing you in close and kissing your hair.

"Now, we go along with whatever Dutch has planned. We keep our heads down and wait for an opportunity. Abigail, you still know where the stash is?"

"Yea, it's in an old graveyard just outside Rhodes"

"Good, think you can get the key?"

She nods enthusiastically as John looks at her proudly. So, this was really happening, Arthur really did want out. Better still, he had a plan too.

The camp is tense for the rest of the day, Arthur and Dutch kept their distance and Susan was unusually quiet, not demanding any chores for the day. Karen, Tilly, and Mary-Beth were gossiping about the morning and you couldn't listen to it anymore, so you busied yourself with Abigail and Jack, making daisy chains by the stream.

"Look Auntie Y/N, its for you!" he holds up a small daisy chain, a proud look on his face at his creation.

"Oh Jack, its so pretty but I don't think that will fit on her head." Abigail chuckles and lovingly strokes his head.

"That's okay I'll wear it as a crown. See, perfect!" you place the chain on your head as Jack claps happily.

"A crown fit for a princess." A familiar drawl speaks behind you.

"Uncle Arthur!" Jack bounds up to him. Arthur scoops him up with one arm, a coffee balanced in his other and spins him, much to Jack's delight who squeals gleefully. Your heart practically bursts from your chest at the sight.

"You making moves on my woman Jack, giving her jewelry?"

He shakes his head smiling as Arthur sets him down. He presses a kiss to your temple as he sits by you. The smell of his coffee hits your nose, and you fight the urge to gag as your stomach churns.

"Arthur, that coffee smells rotten."

"Smells fine to me." He sniffs the cup curiously before draining its contents.

"See, just Pearson's usual crappy brew."

Abigail watches the exchange, a knowing brow arching as she catches your eye. You frown confused by her look, questioning her with your eyes in a way only women know how.

Arthur is oblivious to the silent conversation happening, distracted, his eyes are squinting across the water at something moving closer.

"The hell is that?" he asks standing, hand hovering over his gun.

You both follow his gaze, spotting the figure that was now standing on the opposite bank.

"Get behind me." Arthur commands, drawing his gun and aiming it at the man.

Abigail draws Jack close behind you both, blocking him from view.

"Stop right there. The hell you want?" Arthur shouts across.

"P-please, don't shoot I'm here for Y/N!" 

"Ain't no Y/N here now move along." 

Abigail pushes you back behind her, trying to hide both you and Jack.

"I-I-I..."

"Stop stuttering man and get lost!" Arthur's anger rising as he pulls back his gun's hammer

The man, either stupid or insane, raises his hands and continues to walk forward. 

"Not another step!"

"You don't understand I have to warn her!"

You peek from behind Abigail and see the man before Arthur. His eye black, his lip is split, and blood stains his shirt.

"Keiron?"

You step beside Arthur, who puts his arm out stopping you from moving closer.

"Arthur, I know him, it's okay." 

His gun doesn't budge, still firmly aimed at Keiron's head, but he drops his arm.

"Y/N, he knows where you are. You have to leave." Keiron's voice sounds desperate as he speaks.

This can't be happening. No, you'd got away, this wasn't happening. Your face pales as you realize what he means.

"Who knows kid?" Arthur questions, stepping forward with his guns still raised.

"Colm Sir, he knows where she is, and he wants her back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can the reader not get a moments peace?
> 
> Once again happy new year! Where are you celebrating this year?  
> I’m in Canada drinking a large whiskey and catching up on Netflix.


	16. Realisations in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang decides what will happen next and Abigail has a few words for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : contains smut  
> Oops almost forgot to post a warning

Keiron protests as John and Arthur tie him to a tree by the chicken coup. 

"I ain't an O'Driscoll, I came here to help!"

"You sure smell like an O'Driscoll." John scrunches his nose as he finishes securing the ropes.

Dutch, Hosea, Bill, and Micah already have their heads together. Trying to figure out what to do with their latest arrival.

"You okay?" Arthur wraps an arm around you and speaks low in your ear so only you can hear.

You nod, curling further into Arthur's side, enjoying his warmth.

"Do you trust him?"

"I don't know." You sigh. "He was with the O'Driscolls, but I think he's just a scared kid. Look at him, they clearly did a number on him before he came here."

Arthur considers Keiron's bloodied appearance. "Well, I don't trust him."

"You don't trust anyone." You giggle shoving him playfully.

He scoops you in his arms, bridal style, spinning you around. "I have never been more offended. I trusted you and look at the shit that's got me in. I'm a fool in love."

You giggle at his playfulness, swatting at his chest. "Put me down you brute, I'm getting dizzy!"

"Ahem." Abigail smiles at you both. "Sorry to interrupt, I was hoping to speak to Y/N."

Placing you on solid ground he kisses your temple. "Sure thing, I gotta go see what we're gonna do with him anyway." He tips his hat at you both and joins John at the table with the others.

"So, when are you gonna tell him?" She crosses her arms giving you one of her signature scolding looks, you'd seen John receive many of these, but never had them aimed at you.

"What're talking about?" 

"Don't you dare try and play dumb with me." She smirks.

"Abigail, I really have no idea what you're talking about." 

She rolls her eyes exasperated that you intended on keeping up the charade.

"Oh please, peeing at some ungodly hour this morning. Your sudden aversion to coffee. I mean I know Pearson's coffee is crap but its never bothered you before. I was the same way too."

"Abigail! What are you talking about!?" You were getting really pissed off with this conversation.

"Oh shit, you really don't know..."

"Jesus Christ... know what?" 

"Y/N, I think you're pregnant."

She was insane. That was the only explanation. You couldn't get pregnant; lord knows Arthur had finished in you enough times, but it just never happened. So, you'd both assumed it wasn't an issue.

"I am not pregnant; I can't get pregnant." 

"Then I think we should get you to the docs to be sure. Have you bled?"

Your eyes widen at her bluntness. "Abigail, I think I've been under enough stress lately that bleeding has not exactly been a regular occurrence."

"But Y/N..."

You cut her off, "But nothing. I've been stressed, I'm tired and I probably just have a bug. We have enough to deal with right now."

"Just take it easy until you know for sure, that's all I'm saying.

Now it's your turn to rolls your eyes. Happy to escape the conversation you walk over to the men deciding Keiron's fate.

"He's a god damn O'Driscoll, let's just kill him!"

"Bill, we have to give him some credit, he tried to warn us."

"And it could be a trap, Hosea. A trap that we're walking right in to!"

You approach the table where they stand, Arthur slides an arm around your waist, his touch always giving you confidence in moments like this.

"I-I have something I'd like to say."

The table falls silent as all eyes fall on you.

"Keiron isn't like the others, he was scared of them. He never hurt me when I was there, he was just as much a prisoner as I was. I think we should believe him."

"Y/N, it's too risky, w- "

"We needed to know where Colm is Arthur and now, we do. Keiron can lead us to him and we can strike first."

"You know Arthur its not such a bad idea. We ambush them where they sleep and finally end this. What do you think?" Hosea rubs his brow. The weariness of so many years of running and planning showing on his face.

Arthur looks down at you, keeping you safe and getting you out of this life is his top priority. 

"Fine. But we're doing it my way." His grip tightening protectively around your waist.

Over the next few hours Arthur and the men formulated a plan based on the information Keiron had given them. He'd told them that Colm was hiding out in an old cabin further North and if they struck tomorrow, he wouldn't see it coming. With the exception of Hosea, Uncle, Pearson, and the Reverend, all the men were riding out tomorrow at first light. 

As you step into your tent you see Arthur pulling his guns from the chest. Your eyes scan the arsenal of guns laid out around him, it looks like he's preparing for a war and suddenly the realization of how dangerous this is hits you. Your hand subconsciously strokes you belly but you snatch it away as you catch yourself.

"Arthur..."

He turns, his shoulders dropping and a smile instantly on his face as he sees you.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm so proud of you today. You were so strong." His arms circle your waist, drawing you close to him as his forehead pressing to yours.

"I'm scared for you Arthur, what if you don't come back?"

He tips your chin up with his finger, staring deep into your eyes. "I will always come back to you  
Y/N."

"But what if..." 

"I know ya aint about to question my skills with a gun, or my promise to come back to you. Are you?" he smirks teasingly, his thumb stroking your cheek soothingly.

You sigh into his touch. "No but, I-..."

"And I know ya aint about to spend the night before I leave sad and worried." He drops his head and presses his lips yours, just barely. "Are ya?" he whispers this time as his lips ghost over yours.

Closing the gap, your hands slide up to tangle in his hair, pulling him into a deep kiss. His tongue seeks entrance to your mouth, as he draws you in closer. His tongue explores your mouth, slowly tasting you, drinking you in. Arthurs's kisses could always make you dizzy, but this was something else. Something more. It felt like all the love he had was pouring into you.

You draw back, breathless, and staring at his face. Lips kiss swollen, chest rising and falling heavily. His eyes are wild with lust, their usual green colour darkened and wanting. He was beautiful. 

"I love you Y/N."

He doesn't give you the chance to respond, his hand pulling your head back in for another kiss. This one more fevered and rougher. Both of you eagerly stripping the other of their clothes He bends low, hands gripping your thighs he prompts you to jump, and you instantly wrap your legs around his hips. Arthur's lips don't leave your neck as his strong arms carry you to the bed. 

Gently, he lays you on your back, his large form crawling up your body like a predator stalking its prey. Wet open mouth kisses cover your skin as he makes his way up your body. 

"Arthur please, don't tease." You beg. He looks up at you from under his lashes, smirking at your neediness.

"Patience sweetheart, I'm enjoying myself." He dips his hand low, expertly seeking your clit and drawing slow torturous circles. You try to scold him, but the words are lost in a moan as his finger dips into you. 

"So wet." He notes as he adds another, feeling you clench around his digits. "So good for me." He dips his head low, claiming your mouth again. 

He's teasing you, drawing you close to the edge, slowly and torturously. Each time you're about to peak he slows, keeping you on the brink. Its pure bliss and torture.

Unable to take the edging any more you flip Arthur over straddling his thighs with his hard length pressed between you and his stomach.

Photo credit: instagram sadiexarthur

"My turn." You smirk, before slowly grinding yourself along his length, your wetness coating him. His breath hitches as you find your rhythm, his hands fly to you hips helping you find your release.

You tip over the edge, pleasure washing over you. Your nails dig into his chest causing him to wince, but in all honestly Arthur loved the sting. He loved watching you lose yourself; it was his favourite view. Moving you slowly as you become limp above him, he turns you over, wrapping your legs around his hips. You feel him nuzzle your neck, bringing you back to reality. Arthur always liked to make sure you were fully with him when he sank into you. 

"Welcome back." He smiles as you blink the haze from your eyes. You feel him position himself at your entrance, sliding through your folds as he coats himself in your wetness. "I am so lucky you're mine." He whispers as he slides into you, both of you moaning at the feeling of him filling you so perfectly. "So lucky." He sighs before dropping his head and building a steady rhythm, his hips snapping to meet yours as you being to claw at his back. 

You marvel at his body, hard powerful muscles flex under your hands and he grinds into you, drawing a symphony of moans from your mouth each time he hits that sweet spot inside you.

His thrusts soon become sloppy as he slips a hand between you both, finding your clit and drawing you to the edge again. Urging you to finish with him. 

You quickly oblige, screaming his name as your back arches off the bed and your walls pulse around him triggering his release. His head drops to your shoulder, "Fuck sweetheart." He gasps in your ear as you milk his length, drawing every drop of pleasure from his body.

Arthur drops onto you, utterly exhausted, gasping, and sweat coating his body. You delight in the weight of him, feeling the hard ridges of his body seated against your soft curves. All to soon he rolls off you, drawing your back to his chest and wrapping his arms around your chest and waist.

"Will you wake me when you leave tomorrow?" 

His hand begins lightly tracing your thigh soothingly. "Why?"

"I want to see you off." 

He buries his face in your hair, inhaling your scent deeply. "Of course."

Arthur's hand comes to rest on your stomach, his palm, large and warm against your skin. Your breath hitches as Abigail's words swirl in your brain. You'd dismissed her so quickly thinking the idea absurd, but as you lay in Arthur's arms, his hand protectively pressed to your stomach you think that there may just be some truth to her words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me two days to write and I''m still not completely happy with it. (Not at all because writing Arthur so soft is my guilty pleasure!) I hope you find the chance to enjoy it anyway and if you are enjoying the story please drop kudos or a comment. I love reading your comments :)


	17. Forgiveness in Rhodes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So it's been so long since I updated and I I'm sorry! I started back at work this week from Christmas and I have been swamped. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

"Sweetheart..."

"Mmmmmnngh"

Arthur chuckles, his fingers tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, you never were a morning person. "Y/N, sweetheart. It's morning."

"Mmmmngh......No.....too early." You pout and try to pull the blanket further over yourself.

Although you were a nightmare to take on hunting trips because of your aversions to early starts, Arthur loved when he saw you like this. Your hair, softly tousled, your eyebrows set in a soft frown, and your lips pouting and oh so kissable. He can't resist as he leans down and steals a kiss, your lips chasing his as 

"If ya want more, you'll have to get up."

You blink your eyes open, the offer of morning kisses outweighing your desire to sleep, but Arthur is fully dressed and smiling down at you, his back, and hips already laden with weapons. Shit. It was that morning.

"We're riding out soon, they're just finishing up with the horses and then we go."

You nod and quickly rush to get dressed, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach that only comes when Arthur is about to ride out on a job. You hated mission days because you knew you were in for a day of worry, glancing at your fingers nails you sigh, knowing they'd be chewed to shit by the time he got back.

Following Arthur outside you see the camp is buzzing with energy. Susan, being her usual self, is barking orders at the girls. Their frowns indicate that she may have been particularly demanding this morning. You bite your lip holding in the smile as this is confirmed when Susan turns her back and Karen offers her a particularly rude hand gesture. John, and Charles, are finishing up with the horses, as Dutch and the rest of the men gather finalizing the details of Arthur's plan. 

Arthur had been meticulous about the plan, leaving no room for error, he wanted Colm and his men dealt with swiftly and quietly. Removing any threats to your safety was always his number one priority, his second was the d

"Sweetheart, I gotta go check they're ready. I'll be back to say goodbye." He kisses your knuckles and heads over to the group. The knot in your stomach didn't let up as you watched him walk away.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't tell him?" Abigail crosses her arms as she steps beside you.

'Not this again', you think to yourself. "No, Abigail, I ain't saying anything unless I'm sure."

She drops her arms, "So you agree, you think you could be? If that's the case Y/N you have to tell him, and you better do it soon. He's about to ride out and kill a man, the least you can do is tell him he could be a Father! What if he gets hurt?"

You spin and face her, tears threatening to spill. "That is exactly why I can't tell him! His mind needs to stay focused, and besides..." your voice becoming small and quiet "...What if he doesn't want me anymore?"

Her face softens, as she draws you into a tight hug. You hoped you weren't pregnant, but you were quickly realizing there was a strong possibility that you were, and with that came the very real fear of telling Arthur. He was great with Jack, taking him fishing, playing with him, and sometimes even stepping in when John failed but you'd once heard him say, 'This is no life for children.' Confirming for you that he never planned on aiding brining a child into this world.

"Oh Y/N you know that's not true." She tries to soothe you, stroking your hair. "Lord knows that man can't live without you, he's smitten. And need I remind you, that the man he's going to kill, he's going because of what he did to you. I've never seen him like this, he adores you."

Nodding your head, you wipe away the tears quickly, you didn't want Arthur to see you like this before he rode out. Giving you one last quick hug, Abigail tucks her arm in yours and leads you over to the men. You both watch as they each begin to mount up, all of them laden with enough weapons to arm a small army. John walks over, stealing Abigail away for a quick goodbye, leaving you to wait patiently for Arthur as he finishes tightening his saddle.

"Is it time?" you ask sadly as he takes your hand in his.

"I'll be back before nightfall; you won't even know I'm gone."

You highly doubted that but chose to keep quiet as he kisses you goodbye, his stubble tickling your chin as he deepens the kiss. His hand threads into your hair as his tongue presses into your mouth. Arthur was never very good with words when it came to telling you how he felt, but he was always able to pour so much emotion into a kiss. His kisses were like beautifully written poems that he only gave to you, each caress of hips lips a new line telling you exactly what he wanted you to know. This kiss was no different, his emotions were laid out as his molds beautifully against yours. All too quickly he pulls away, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

"I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Arthur." The words felt like a longer goodbye and you hated it. 

Quickly mounting his horse, he spurs her on as the others fall in line to follow. You watch as they ride away, getting smaller and smaller in the distance until they no longer resemble men, just ever-growing smaller dots.

It was lunch time before you found the ability to focus long enough on a task without thinking of Arthur. As you chopped the carrots you tried to concentrate on Pearson's story, using him to distract you from your thoughts.

"-then I said to her, Lady, I know you can't resist me, but I can't be with you." He drones on as you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. His stories usually involved some tale of how he was irresistible to women and this was different. He was recounting some (embellished) tale of a woman he'd met at a port in St Denis while he was in the Navy and you nodded along as he continued, not sparing any details.

"M-Miss Y/N, may I speak to you?"

You almost nick your finger as you see Keiron standing before you, his arms wrapped around himself as he nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He always kept his head bowed when talking to anyone in the gang and he often reminded you of a dog that had done something it knows it shouldn't have.

"Get lost O'Driscoll, you know you ain't supposed to go talk to her." Pearson warns. Arthur had forbidden Keiron from coming within five feet of you, he still didn't fully trust that he wasn't working for Colm. Even though you'd tried to convince him he insisted on the rule, and apparently, he'd ensured everyone was going to enforce it.

"It's okay Mr. Pearson. Keiron just wants to talk, he's not gonna hurt me."

Keiron shakes his head quickly as you lead him away and over to the where the horses graze. You could feel eyes on you as the gang saw you alone with Keiron, no doubt Arthur would hear about this from them the minute he got back.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

Keiron looks as white as a sheet as he shuffles his feet on the ground, staring at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. His nervousness what catching, and you began to fear that maybe you had trusted him to quickly, maybe he was going to tell you that Arthur and the men were riding into a trap.

"Miss I-.... I just..."

"Jesus man, spit it out."

"I'm sorry Miss. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, for everything."

You drop your shoulders as you instantly relax. Of course, Keiron wasn't working for Colm, the man didn't have the balls for one, and you'd seen the state of his face when he'd arrived, the bruises and swelling still looking painful.

"Keiron it wasn't your fault. You- "

"Didn't do anything." He meets your eyes looking sad and much younger than his years. "I didn't do anything to help you Miss. I was just as bad as them.

"No Kei-."

"Don't try to defend me, please." 

He was a martyr to his cause, and you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him otherwise so simply nodded and left it a that. You didn't understand how someone like Keiron could end up in a gang with the likes of Colm, so curiosity got the better of you. "How'd you even end up in the gang?"

I'd been running with the O'Driscolls for two years, but I wasn't by choice. My dad ran with them most of his life, but I didn't want to, two years ago my mum died, and he said if I wanted to prove I was a man I'd join him. I didn't have anywhere to go so I did. Colm didn't like me very much and said I was dead weight, but my Dad insisted I stay. He was killed on a train robbery 6 months later and so I stayed because then I really did have nowhere, and only they treat me like slave."

"Why didn't you leave then?"

He shrugged, shuffling again on his feet. "Colm said I'd seen too much and that I had to stay so they could keep an eye on me. He said they'd gut me like a pig if I ever left."

As you looked at the man before you, you realized he was as much a victim of Colm as you were. He reminded you of yourself, you'd joined a gang through no reason but necessity when you'd been left with no one and as you thought of Dutch you wondered how long it would be before the Van Der Linde gang began to resemble the O'Drisolls. 

"Colm saw you when you were in Blackwater, he knew you were with Arthur, but he became obsessed with you, he told everyone that you were going to be his. He's been tracking you since then, and when he saw you all flee North from that boat, he knew it was his chance."

Your blood began to run cold. The thought of Colm watching your from afar felt so violating, the fact that you had no idea this whole time was even worse. They must have known Arthur wasn't with you that day, no one was stupid enough to take on Arthur Morgan like that, he was known across 3 states for being deadly with or without a gun. Your stomach churns uncomfortably as you realize they'd been watching you the whole time, just waiting for an opportunity.

"You okay Miss? You're looking a little green again, you ain't still sick like back with the O'Driscolls are you?"

Your hand ghosts over your stomach, but you quickly move it away. Shaking your head, you offer him a weak smile, Keiron was sweet and you knew his lack of help has been bred out of his own fear.

You'd made the decision then and there. You were getting Keiron out of this life too, you were going to give him a chance at a life he deserved.

"Thank you for your apology, but I want you to know I don't hold any bad feelings towards you. I can see you're not like them, and I would love for you to stay with us." You left out the part were 'us' only meant Abigail, Jack, John, Arthur, and yourself. 

"Thank you, Miss, but I don't think Mr. Morgan will let that happen. He doesn't like me very much."

You smile knocking his shoulder playfully. "You let me worry about Mr. Morgan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wanted to take a quick second and address the spelling of some words used in this story. You may notice some words are spelled the American way where some are spelled the English way. That's because I am English but I recently moved to Canada, so I am still flip flopping between the two spellings. Hopefully, it's not too distracting, I do plan to go back and edit (Eventually!).
> 
> I'm really interested in knowing where all of you are from? What country are you reading this in?


	18. Pain in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader contemplated life with a child as the gang returns from the job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: trying to get out as many updates before my week goes to shit again.   
> Warnings: mentions of abortion

The rest of the day passed slowly, as you sauntered from job to job trying to stay busy. Finally, as the sunset sets, and there was still no sign of Arthur, you collapse, exhausted by Abigail and Jack by the fire.

"How're you holding up?" she asks, handing you a warm bowl of stew.

"Like shit. You?" She nods. You were glad to have a friend like her in camp, someone to talk to, and right now someone who was feeling exactly like you were.

"Does it ever get easier, them being away?"

She snorts out a laugh. "God no, you just get really good at drinking." She holds the beer bottle up to solidify her point before raising it to her lips and taking a long drink. "I thought it might get easier after John left us when I first gave birth, but nope, turns out I still loved the bastard and worry about him."

When you don't respond she glances at you realizing what she had said. "Shit, Y/N. I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

You smile and silence her with a wave of your hand, she was clearly a few bottles into the beer, and you envied that you couldn't join her.

"Abigail, do you mind if I put Jack to bed tonight?" She lowers her bottle as she eyes you.

She knew how you were feeling, the uncertainty, the fear. She'd felt the same way when she'd found out she was pregnant. When John found out he'd instantly denied that Jack was his and left for a good year. She was certain though that you wouldn't go through that, she knew Arthur wouldn't never do that to you. When John left, Arthur had immediately stepped in to help, and trust be told, on those cold nights with Jack in her arms she'd dreamed of being with him.

When Arthur had made his feelings for you clear, she was ashamed to admit she'd been jealous. Sure, her and John were making it work but there was something about Arthur that was so effortless. When you'd befriended her, she quickly swallowed those feelings, realizing how silly she'd been.

"Sure thing. Hey Jack, Auntie Y/N I gonna put you to bed now 'kay?"

"Okay mama!" he hugs her tightly as she presses a kiss to his cheek before grabbing your hand and pulling you to his tent.

With Jack curled up on his cot you pull the blanket up and tuck him in tight, smoothing the hair on his head lovingly. You'd really grown to care for him over the last year as if he were your own, spending many hours playing with him and reading to him.

"How'd you like living with the gang Jack?" you ask him as you sit on the bed smoothing his covers.

"It's fun, I have lots of friends to play with. Uncle Arthur's my favorite though he makes up the best games, and when he reads, he does all the voices." The end of his sentence mumbled as he begins to yawn, his eyes growing heavy.

Arthur really was great with Jack, and you had no doubt he'd be a great Father, your main concern was bringing a child into this life. Jack didn't understand the dangers of the gang so to him it was just one big adventure. 

You whisper good night as you turn to leave, taking one last look at the sleeping boy, you wonder if this is what your future looked like.

Abigail is waiting for you outside the tent, her face soft and smiling. She doesn't give you a chance to speak before wordlessly drawing you into a tight hug. You were so thankful to have a friend like her right now, someone who understood your feelings and shared in your concerns for the safety of your men.

"Ladies quick the men are back!" Susan rushes over, her arms ushering you both to the entrance of camp. With her black dress and dark eyes, she resembled a territorial crow, flapping its wings in warning. You'd have laughed if not for the fact that Arthur was back. Grabbing Abigail's hand, you tug her along behind Susan, eager to see Arthur home safe.

The men's horses slowly saunter back into camp, their coats gleaming with sweat and caked in mud, their riders not looking much better. You both quickly scanned the returns, your eyes seeking your men and trying to gauge the success of the mission. Judging by the grim faces and bloodied shirts, it didn't go easy. You spot Arthur at the back, breaking lose of Abigail you sprint to him, reaching him before he can even dismount.

His face is dark, and his brow set low. There's a cut across his cheek and a bruise forming on his cheek, as your eyes rake over the rest of him you notice how he favors his right side as he dismounts, he winces as he lands. 

Drawing him in you bury your face in his chest, thankful to have him back alive. You feel his arms wrap tightly around you and as you squeeze, he sucks in a breath, groaning in pain.

"Easy sweetheart." he exhales as he moves you to his right side.

Your fingers follow the blood trail, finding a puncture in the fabric of his shirt.

"Arthur, you're hurt!" 

"You should see the other guy." He chuckles but it quickly turns to a whine as the movement aggravates his wound.

"I have to get you cleaned up, c'mon."

Before he can protest you drag him to your tent, pulling out a chair you instruct him to take a seat as you gather supplies. Gingerly he removes his gear and shirt, wincing at each movement that aggravates his injuries. Satisfied with your kit you turn and face him. 

"Oh my God." You freeze, almost dropping your kit. He was a mess. 

Dried sweat and blood cake his left side from a small puncture wound, his chest and arms are covered in scrapes and bruises, and his left arm holds a deep gash where a bullet has clearly grazed him.

You begin to tear up, your free hand covering your mouth as your hold in a sob.

"Sweetheart... shhhh, c'mere. I'm okay" he holds his right arm out to you, beckoning you close.

He seats you gently on his knee as his right arm smooths up your back, your medical kit forgotten on your lap.

"W-What...What happened?"

"Colm knew a fight was coming and had gathered his men. I didn't even realise there were that many O'Driscolls. We were outnumbered three to one, but luckily, we had the element of surprise on our side. Charles and I took out a few stragglers on the edge of their camp which helped even the numbers out a bit, but they soon caught on to the ambush."

You begin to clean his wounds as he continues, trying hard not to tug on the skin.

"John got in a tangle with a couple of them and while I was helping him one of the fuckers jumped me, stuck his nice right in my side and took me down. He- ouch!"

You pull your hand away quickly, eyeing the puncture.

"Arthur I'm going to have to stitch this up."

He nods at you to begin as he continues to recount the story.

"Anyway, John shot the bastard that jumped me, and we went to find Colm."

You stop of the mention of his name, your eyes meeting Arthur's, holding your breath as you wait for him to continue.

"I'm sorry Y/N, he got away, him and about ten of his men." His head falls in shame, he felt like he'd failed you. Like he failed at his promise to keep you safe. "He's still out there." He says quietly, more to himself than to you.

Tipping his chin, you force him to look you in the eyes. "We'll find him." He doesn't respond, just looks away as falls deep into his thoughts. 

You finish up quickly, helping him to bed and handing him a bottle of whiskey to help him sleep and to numb the pain. 

"Come to bed. Please." The last part is a plea, he needs you safely by his side.

"I will, I just have to clean this up." you hold up the bloodied medical supplies.

Outside the tent you draw in the cool air, you and Arthur couldn't take much more of this life, it was killing you both. Crossing over to the water buckets you see Abigail is there already, a bloodied kit in her hand mirroring yours.

"How's John?" you ask kneeling beside her and dunking the kit into the cool water.

"He's seen worse. Had to switch up his face, that's about it. How's Arthur?"

She looks over when you don't answer, seeing tears fall down your face.

"Y/N?" 

You let out a gasp as more tears begin to fall. "I can't do this Abigail."

Abandoning her kit, she takes your hands. "Y/N we're getting out, this won't be much longer, just a few more weeks and we'll be free."

"Not this Abigail. This!" your hands clutch your stomach. "I can't bring a baby into this life. I won't bring a baby into this life."

"What're you saying Y/N?" Her eyebrows draw into a low frown.

"Tomorrow I'm going into town, Karen said there's man who helps the prostitutes end their pregnancies."

Abigail snatches her hands away, her eyes drawing wide in horror. "You can't, Y/N. Please!"

Wiping the tears from your eyes you stand and turn back to your tent, leaving Abigail to stare after you. Horrified and worried for her best friend. Of course, she knew there were such men, she'd been a prostitute herself, but of the women she knew that used them three had died from either the procedure itself, or of infection after.

Composing yourself you step inside your tent to find Arthur snoring lightly. The booze having done its work and helping him drift of to sleep. As you crawl in next to him you lay staring at the canvas above, your hands flat on your belly. 

"I'm sorry" you whisper, to Arthur and your unborn child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so I was looking into abortions in the 19th century for this story and oh man did the ladies have it rough back then.


	19. Two protectors in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader puts her plan into action but ends up with an unwanted travelling companion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warnings: violence, mentions of abortions, animal death.

Arthur's arms have you pinned to his side, his heat overwhelming you. As your body begins to catch up with your mind you feel it churn in protest.

Here we go again. You mutter to yourself as you being to untangle yourself from him.

The sickness in your stomach rolls over you with urgency as you fight to make it outside. But you can't. Stumbling from your shared cot, you fall to your knees, heaving your insides on the floor as tears stream down your cheeks. 

You feel so foolish for even considering that you could bring a child into this life, you would be a liability for the next eight to nine months. Not to mention once the child is born, how vulnerable it would be as the gang moves around and all the jobs you all work on. Your thoughts drift to Abigail as you continue to heave, it still amazes you how she got through it, but then you remember what she said.

Arthur.

Arthur had been the one to help her when John left, he had been the one to keep her and Jack safe.

Arthur had been the one to help raise Jack when John failed to do so.

Your Arthur Morgan.

A warm hand soothes over your back as you begin to cough and catch your breath.

"Hey, Y/N. What's going on, you okay?" He crouches next to you with a wince of pain, as his eyes scan the scene in front of him. You're shaking from the effort, as a small sheen of sweat coats your skin. The small puddle of vomit sets alarm bells off in his head.

Nodding your head, you wipe your mouth and lean back against the cot. Closing your eyes, you will yourself not to cry.

"Talk to me Y/N, are you okay? Are ya sick?" 

The concern in his voice causes your lip to quiver, you dare not open your eyes as you know the exact look of concern that covers his face. You had a plan, and you had to stick to it, you couldn't allow yourself to talk yourself out of it.

"-M fine Arthur, just bad stew or something." You force a smile and meet his gaze.

He tucks a loose lock of hair behind your ear, trailing his finger down your cheek in such a gentle way you wouldn't believe possible from a man his size.

"I worry about you."

As your stare at his bruised face, you feel your resolve beginning to crumble. He could keep you safe, you and your baby. He would protect you at all costs. 

"You worried about Colm? Is that why you're sick?"

The mention of his name sobers your thoughts, reminding you why you had to do this. It wasn't safe, and as long as you were pregnant Arthur wasn't safe. He would do anything to protect you, even getting himself killed, that you had no doubt. You push yourself up, determined to see your plan through.

"I...I think I better go see a doctor. Just to get the all clear." Brushing off your skirt you begin loading what you need into your satchel.

Arthurs eyes widen in worry as he straightens, sucking in a pained breath as his side protests at the movement.

"I'll come with you I-..." his words cut off as he winces and clutches his side. He's pulled one of his stitches and the wound begins to bleed again.

Rushing over you gently sit him on the bed, ushering him to lay down.

"You're not going anywhere until you're healed. I'll be fine on my own just get some rest."

"Sweetheart, Colm is still out there. It's not safe on your own, I'm going with you."

"Arthur I- "

"Arthur, Y/N. Can I come in?" John's voice calls from outside your tent.

"Sure" Arthur calls back before you can protest.

Walking into the tent, John crinkles his nose at the puke on the floor.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he takes in the scene of you holding Arthur down.

You nod and relax back sitting on the edge of the cot as Arthur attempts to prop him self up on the pillow.

"I came to see how you're doing and wanted to thank you for yesterday."

Arthur nods but doesn't say anything, as is usual he's uncomfortable receiving thanks. His self-depreciation often blinding him from seeing the good deeds he does.

As an uncomfortable silence falls on the tent you seize the opportunity to get away. 

"Well, I'll leave you boys to talk. Good to see you up and about John." 

You grab your satchel and make to push passed him but instead he gentle grabs your arm. His eyes narrow and level with yours and you stop dead.

"Where are you going Y/N?"

You freeze, suddenly aware that he may know more than he should.

"She wants to ...ah... she wants to go into town to see the Doc." Arthur explains as he readjusts himself on the bed.

John's eyes never leave yours "I don't think that's very safe, do you? I don't think you understand the risks involved." 

Oh shit, he definitely knew. Abigail must have told him last night after your conversation. You make a mental note to scold her later for not being able to keep a secret.

"I... uh... I'm sick...need to see the doctor for some meds."

"What about Arthur?"

Narrowing his eyes, he continues with your double meaning conversation as Arthur lies oblivious on the bed. 

"She won't let me take her. Actually, John could you go with her?"

You whip around and glare at him. "Arthur Morgan, I do not need a damn escort to go into town."

"Escort ain't for you. It's for me, for my peace of mind." He offers you a lopsided smile, one that would never fail to make your knees weak and give into anything he wanted.

"Sure, I'll take ya Y/N, wouldn't want you getting yourself hurt. Besides, we have a lot to talk about, we haven't caught up in so long." John smirks triumphantly, dropping his arm from yours.

With a huff you shove past him and out the tent. "Let's just get this over with."

"So...were you ever gonna tell him?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh, a habit you picked up from Arthur when he's frustrated. You're barely out of earshot from camp as you both ride your horses to downtown Rhodes.

"There's nothing to tell him John." He's going to be as persistent as Abigail, you just know it.

"Y/N, he has a right to know. It's his child we're talking about here if he finds out it'll kill him."

Your hand ghosts over your stomach before gripping the reins tightly as you blink away tears that threaten to spill. You know Arthur may never forgive you if he finds out, you've already raged that internal war with yourself. You'd concluded that you could live with yourself as long as Arthur was alive and safe. 

"I can't risk bringing a child into this life, not now at least. Colm is still out there, and he won't stop until he gets revenge. If I continue with this pregnancy, I'll be a liability."

John draws his horse in front of you, forcing you to stop.

"We'd protect you; Arthur and I, we'd keep you safe. I owe Arthur much more than my life for what he's done for me. He's my brother, and he stepped in when I couldn't be a father for Jack, the very least I can do is help protect the mother of his child with him. We're going to get you out Y/N, you, Abigail, and Jack."

"And Keiron..."

"And what?"

"And Keiron. We're getting him out too." You ignore his look of utter disbelief as you spur Caesar passed him.

"I'm sorry, what!? Have you completely lost your mind, he's an O'Driscoll!? I know pregnancy can do funny things with your head, but you can't be serious."

You stare him in the eyes as you continue along the road to town, you can already see the church appearing over the hill.

"I am serious. He's coming with us, he's as much a victim of Colm as I was. It's not up for discussion, much like what I'm about to do isn't. Now if you want to be helpful while you're here, keep a look out in town.

John opens his mouth to protest but quickly shuts it again as you glare at him. You have a heart too big to handle, so he decides to let Arthur deal with this conversation later.

As you draw into town John is quiet. He rides with his head low as he chews the inside of his cheek, he has to convince you to not go through with this, but how? Abigail is a strong-willed woman, but you're practically immovable, besides he can't rely on his roguish charm to work on you the way it does with her.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you not to do this?"

You sigh as you draw Caesar to a halt at the hitching post. "No John, and I'd thank you not to keep trying."

Quickly dismounting John is by your horse's side, offering you a hand to get down.

"Here let me help you."

Ignoring the hand, you slide down with a thud. "John, this is what I'm talking about. You and Arthur will treat me different; you'll be distracted."

"It's no different than me protecting Jack."

"Raising two children in this life, the odds aren't in our favour John."

He looks around as if he's wrestling with himself when his eyes settle on the saloon. Looking back at you he sighs and throws his arms up in defeat.

"You're right."

"I-I...am?" you stutter, feeling like you have whiplash from the sudden change in John's opinion.

"Yea, you're right, it's risky." He nods over to the saloon. "So, let me get some food in you before you do this. I wanna make sure you're as strong as you can be before you do whatever it is that needs to be done. Abigail said it really took the energy out of the girls she knew. And I don't want Arthur stringing me up for bringing you back half dead."

And with that he marches over to the saloon, not sparing you a second glance. You stand with your mouth open staring after him for a moment as your brain tries to catch up with everything. Deciding some food wasn't the worst idea you follow after him. 

Seated inside the saloon John orders and pays for your food, there aren't too many options, so he settles on tea and oatmeal, remembering how Abigail had often had trouble keeping food down at the very start of her pregnancy. He slides the bowl over to you as you sit, your eyes watching him suspiciously.

"Eat, and then I'll take you wherever you need to go."

Still suspicious of his sudden change of heart you slowly begin to eat, noting how much easier the oatmeal sits than Pearson's cooking. Eating in silence you're all too soon scraping the bottom of you bowl, disappointed that you're finished.

"Still hungry?" John raises his eyebrow.

You nod guiltily, feeling embarrassed by your sudden greediness.

Raising two fingers at the barman he signals for another bowl, which you immediately begin tucking into. John watches you silently, still warring with himself over if he should tell you. Arthur was a very private man, and if Arthur hadn't told you, it certainly wasn't his place to. But he was desperate, and he was sure if Arthur knew the circumstances, he wouldn't care what John did. Taking a deep breath, he goes with his gut.

"Arthur had a kid before."

You stop dead as your eyes shoot to John, your spoon dropping into the bowl and splattering oatmeal across the table.

"His name was Isaac."

"W-what?" you whisper, not quite believing what you were hearing.

"Arthur got a girl pregnant when we were younger, a waitress. He didn't love her it was just a stupid drunken night out him and I had, but he never stopped providing for her. For five years he'd disappear for weeks at a time to visit them and make sure they had everything. He didn't talk about it much, you know what he's like, but he loved Isaac more than anything."

You stare out of the window, struggling to process the information. Arthur had a son and he never told you. "Where is Isaac now?"

John looks down at the table, the past swirling through his mind.

"He died. Arthur went to see them one day and found them both dead and buried."

Your head snaps to look at John as your hand shoots to your mouth to hold in a sob. So that's why he hadn't told you, it was too painful for him. The poor man had lost something as precious as a son, and knowing Arthur like you did, you knew he'd bury that pain deep down.

"He was never the same when he came back. He wouldn't talk about Isaac ever again, it was like it never happened, but somedays I'd find him with Isaac's picture, just staring at it. It killed him that he couldn't protect them because that's what he is Y/N. To his core he is a protector of what he loves. I never saw him like that again, until he met you."

"Why're you telling me this John?"

He shakes his head, looking anywhere but directly at you. "Because if Arthur finds out I don't want to see him go through that again. This procedure is risky Y/N, if he loses you and his unborn kid...I... well I don't want to think what he'd do."

Staring down at your unfinished oatmeal you cross your arms around your belly hugging yourself. You hadn't thought about the risks to yourself, you'd been so focused on ending this pregnancy it never occurred to you that you could die.

"None of us want to lose you Y/N, but Arthur can't live without you."

Your mind conjures images of John riding back to camp and telling Arthur, the imaginary pain on his face causing you to sob.

John crosses around the table and crouches by your feet, taking your hands in his he shushes you as he notices people staring. The gang needed to keep a low profile, and while you weren't easily recognized, his scars made him and easy target.

"Shhhh Y/N I need you to calm down for me, it's gonna be okay."

You stare down at his blurry face as tears continue to fall. "I.... I don't think I want to do this John... I can't do this to Arthur. I want this baby, I really do, but... it's going to be so dangerous for us."

John drops his shoulders, relived to hear you finally see sense.

"You let me, and Arthur worry about that." He thumbs away your tears, reminding you so much of Arthur as he does.

You smile, despite the tears, your mind suddenly flashing images of Arthur holding your newborn baby and your heart melts.

John begins to notice more and more eyes on you both as you wipe the rest of your tears away. He begins to feel nervous at the glances and the sudden urge to get you out of there becomes overwhelming. A man meets John's eyes as he stares at him, his eyes narrow as if trying to place John's face. Suddenly widening in recognition, the man makes a beeline for the exit.

Shit. Okay time to go.

"Y/N, I think we should get out of here."

Standing up he offers you a hand and leads you out of the back of the saloon, ensuring you're both heading in the opposite direction of the man.

You're confused as John drags you to the back and away from where your horses are hitched. He's suddenly jumpy, and you worry he's spotted a threat you've yet to notice. Arthur had the same talent, he could sense danger sometimes hours before you could, he'd become quiet and his eyes would never stop searching. It seems John had developed the same talent, and you wondered if a life on the run had taught them to sniff out threats with ease.

"John what is it?"

"That man back there recognized me, I don't know where from but he's either off to tell the sheriff or someone I probably won't want to see so I have to get you out of here." 

Pulling you into the alley he shields you behind him as he peers around the wall. The man from before is talking to two men and pointing back at the saloon. Squinting to see their badges he watches as they begin to draw their guns and turn towards where the man was pointing. As they turn John pales, they're not law men, neither of them is wearing a badge, but it didn't matter, he'd recognize them anywhere.

O'Driscolls.

"Shit, Colm's here somewhere." He curses and turns back to you; he notices your hand is held protectively over your stomach. Shit, how was he going to get you out of here safely?

"Oh my god, what do we do?" your whisper rushed as he peeks around the wall.

"It's gonna be okay, here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna go out there and distract them, I don't think the man recognized you, so you're gonna go back in the saloon and walk with your head down and wait until they're distracted. Then I want you to leave and walk straight for the horses and don't stop."

He quickly tugs his bandana free, placing it on your head and tying it under your chin like a head scarf. Shoving a revolver in your hand he pushes you back and steps out from the alley with his hands raised.

"Fellers... funny seeing your ugly faces here."

You don't hear the rest, as you scramble back towards the rear of the saloon, you fumble with the gun and hide it in the waist band of your skirt. Bursting inside you remember what John said and instantly drop your head so as not to draw attention to yourself. Slowly, you make your way to the front entrance, weaving through the crowd and keeping your face low.

You see through the window that John's hands are still raised, as two guns are leveled at his chest. Two drunks notice the commotion outside and being to stagger out, hoping for some entertainment for the day. Now was your chance.

Setting your sights on Caesar you step out of the saloon following the drunks, keeping your head down you overtake them and cross the road. You can hear John and the men.

"You're gonna pay for what you did Marston, Colm's got special plans for you and Morgan."

"Sorry fellers, me an' Morgan ain't free tonight. Maybe you'd better find some whores for him instead?"

"Oh, he's got plans for a whore alright. Colm wants her back, and this time he won't be so gentle in taking what's his."

Your steps quicken as your heart pounds with fear. How the hell were you going to get John out of this one? Focusing on Caesar you walk with purpose across the road, you're almost there, his head turning to great you. 

BANG!

Caesar drops to the ground as John's horse rears and fights its tether in fright.

"NO!" you scream, staring at the growing pool of blood around your horse's head. His eyes stare lifelessly at you from the ground as his tongue rolls from his mouth.

"That's the girl!"

"Y/N RUN!" You hear John scream as bullets begin to fly.

You throw yourself at John's horse, yanking the reins free. You hear bullets flying behind you spooking the horse and causing it to rear.

"Shhh, c'mon it's okay!" You try to soothe hurriedly as you throw yourself unceremoniously on its back.

Hearing the gunshots more people begin to flood the streets and more guns join the fight. You're not even sure if they're O'Driscolls, the people here will do anything to join a fight.

Spinning the horse, you see John dive behind the alley wall, shielding his head as a bullet hits the wall and sprays stray brick everywhere. Acting on impulse you draw John's revolver from your skirt just as John's eyes meet yours across the way. His eyes widen as you draw the gun, frantically shaking his head he shouts at you to get out of here. 

Ignoring his shout, you charge forward, firing off 3 shots at the man aiming for John. Only one of your bullets makes contact but it's enough to drop the man to the ground. The other O'Driscoll is busy fighting off the locals as you draw level with the alley.

"Are you crazy!? I told you to leave, Arthur is going to kill me!" He yells as he pulls himself up behind you.

"And if I did, you'd still be stuck here!" You kick into a gallop and flee up the hill from the town.

You pull up to a trot as you both catch your breath. 

"You okay?"

"Yea, didn't get hit. What about you?"

"I'm fine...just...Caesar..." you loved that horse; Arthur had bought him for you as a gift and he'd gotten you through everything.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think they'd recognize you."

You sniff and nod your head, sad at the loss of your animal companion but surprisingly no tears came. Apparently, you were all cried out. You weren't sure if this was a sign you were becoming hardened to the outlaw life, the past few months providing you with several hardening experiences. You look on as you see the camp entrance draw near. You had one more experience to get out of the way still.

Telling Arthur Morgan, he was going to be a father again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is quite a meaty chapter, and I probably should have split it into two but I was enjoying the flow.  
> How do you think Arthur is going to react when he finds out?
> 
> I’m thinking of starting a few one shots but wanted your suggestions. Is there a story you want written? Let me know in the comments :)


	20. Betrayal in Rhodes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a public service announcement, please refrain from killing the writer

John feels your body is tense against his as you draw closer to camp, he watches your fingers fiddle nervously with the leather of Old Boy's reins. The poor horse shakes his head in protest as you tighten and release against his mouth, giving a brief snort in annoyance.

"It's going to be okay y'know?"

"Wha-? Oh yea... I know." Your mind is still trying to piece together the right way to tell Arthur you're pregnant. You don't doubt that Arthur with protect you and your child with his life, but the knowledge of his previous fatherhood complicates things. Arthur had already lost one child, could he handle the stress and worry of raising another child safely in this uncertain lifestyle? 

"You worried about how the old man is gonna react?" John chuckles. Despite you and John being only ten years younger than Arthur he loved riling him about his age. Often calling him 'Old man' or 'cradle snatcher' due to yours and Arthur's age difference. 

You elbow John in the side, biting your lip to hide your smirk. You appreciated that John could always make a joke, no matter how serious the atmosphere, you'd no doubt that that was part of the reason Abigail fell in love with him. 

"Stop calling him that, and yes I don't exactly have experience in telling someone they're going to be a Father. How did Abigail tell you?"

John shuffles behind you in the saddle and clears his throat, remembering how he reacted when Abigail had told him about Jack. He'd gotten angry, accused her of sleeping around, and throwing her old profession back in her face, he'd denied the baby was his. "I don't think I'm the best example. Don't think too much about it, Morgan has twice the brains I do, just give it to him straight. Besides, I'd be more worried about telling him what you said to me earlier, you can't be serious about bringing Keiron with us can you?" 

Now it's your turn to squirm in the saddle. "Well...I was kind of hoping you'd tell him."

"Oh no! You must be joking. Morgan'll string me up faster than the hang man. You tell him, but I suggest you tell him after you tell him you're pregnant, that way he's less likely to kill you." 

Rolling your eyes, you elbow him again playfully in the ribs, a satisfying pained grunt leaving his mouth.

Drawing closer to camp you spy Abigail and Jack sitting by the road, Jack playing with a patch of daisies and Abigail hugging a mug of steaming coffee. Seeing them, John springs from the back of Old Boy and rushes over to collect Abigail in a tight hug.

"What're you doing out here?" he releases her and scans her body, trying to gauge if somethings wrong.

"I couldn't wait in camp, not with Arthur being there. How'd it go, how're you feeling?" She asks and you dismount Old Boy. You pat his neck, thanking him for carrying you both safely home, he swings his head to you searching for a treat, when he finds non, he huffs and turns his attention to the grass.

"I didn't go through with it. John actually helped change my mind." 

Her eyes widen in shock and relief as a wide smile spreads across her face. Rushing over she gathers you into a tight embrace, mouthing a 'thank you' to John over your shoulder.

"If you didn't go through with it, what took you both so long? Wait..." She looks around Old Boy and back at you and John. "Where's Caesar?"

"We uh ran into some trouble." John begins to explain to her what happened in town and how you lost your horse as you nod along and fill in any gaps.

"Jesus, they're that close to camp?" she asks as you both finish recounting the events.

"Yea, I gotta go tell Dutch and figure out what he wants to do." John takes Old Boy from you as you begin walking back into camp. You and Abigail exchange nervous glances, knowing Dutch is going to want to retaliate and after just getting your men back, Arthur more worse for wear than others, neither of you are keen to see them ride out again to fight.

Crossing into camp you spot Arthur by the fire eating stew; your favourite blue union shirt of his loosely buttoned under his leather jacket. You were surprised to see him out of bed with his injuries, but the man's pain tolerance often amazed you. Sensing your gaze his eyes meet yours and a frown sets on his face as he notes your missing horse. 

"Good luck." Abigail whispers as she and John lead Jack away and over to inform Dutch of your encounter.

"Where's Caesar?" Arthur asks as you sit beside him, his hand resting on your knee.

You wave your hand dismissing the conversation, "Long story. Look Arthur I need to tell you something."

Sensing something is wrong he sets his bowl down and turns to you. "Everything okay?" his hand squeezes your knee reassuringly.

You nod, not able to meet his face as you try to form the right words in your throat. "I erm... I didn't go into town for the Doctors, I went to do something."

His eyes stay on you as his mouth forms a hard line. A small nod encourages you to continue.

"I'm not sick, not really. Arthur I'm..." you raise your eyes to meet his as you struggle with the words. His eyes are locked on you, penetrating your soul. You understood why Strauss used him for debt collection, the man could have you spilling your guts and paying double just from one look.

Taking a deep breath, you swallow and decide to just go for it. "Arthur I'm pr- "

"Arthur! We got a problem!" You curse under your breath as you both turn seeing Dutch marching towards you with Micah and John trailing behind. A guilty look is plastered on John's face as he knows what Dutch is interrupting, 'I'm sorry." He mouths at you.

'Not now Dutch I'm busy." Arthur growls as his eyes flick back to your face, you look worried and he knows you're nervous about something, alarm bells are ringing in his head and he really isn't in the mood to deal with Dutch right now.

"The O'Driscolls are in Rhodes Arthur, they almost got John and Y/N, we gotta ride out and take em now, while we know where they are!"

Arthur eyebrows shoot up to his forehead as he realizes why you're nervous, ignoring Dutch his hand squeezes your knee. "You and John ran into the O'Driscolls, is that what happened to Caesar?"

"Yes but-."

Arthur is on his feet before you can finish, a small wince escaping his lips as he straightens. "I can be ready in five." He turns to Dutch who nods with pride, a sickening smile creeping under his moustache.

"I knew I could count on you son."

"No! Arthur you can't! You're still hurt!" you tug at his hand pleading with him to stay. If he rides out in his current state, he'll surely be killed.

"Cowpoke's gotta carry his weight around here like the rest of us." Micah sneers and you begin to see red.

"Arthur carries more weight than you ever will, you filthy rat." You feel Arthurs hand run soothingly up your back, his subtle way of telling you to stand down.

"Oh really? Seems he's always too busy, fucking you, rescuing you, and laying around injured."

Your next actions aren't you own, they're that act of an enraged woman. Lunging forward as Arthur tries to stop you, your fist connects to his nose with a satisfying crunch. His stumbles back immediately, as his eyes stream and blood runs down his face.

"My fucking nose, you bitch!" he splutters.

Seizing the opportunity, you tackle him to the ground, your fists flying as you pummel them into his face. His next words are lost as he tries to cover his face and stop you from reigning blows down on him. Arthur's arm slides around your waist, dragging you up and holding you against his chest as you try to catch your breath. You can't see but a small smirk and look of pride plays across his face.

"Can't say you didn't deserve that one." John half rasps and half laughs.

Offering Micah a hand Dutch frowns at you before raising an eyebrow at Arthur. "We don't have time for this!" His words are gritted through his teeth.

"Won't happen again." Arthur nods and smiles still holding you firmly to his chest as he runs his hand runs over your arm soothingly. You're still breathing heavy against his chest, the anger still evident in your glare at Micah as he offers you an equally cold look while holding his freshly broken nose.

"Micah, go get Swanson to set you nose. Arthur, John, you're with me." Turning on his heel Dutch marches to the horses, squeezing your arm one last time Arthur follows as John casts you another apologetic look before turning to follow along.

Your mind is racing as you watch him start to leave, you can't let Arthur ride out in his condition. You don't know how to stop it, and without thinking you blurt out...

"Arthur I'm pregnant!"

Time stands still. Arthur freezes with his back to you, his shoulders tensing like you'd just fired a bullet at him. Your hands clap over your mouth as if to stop any more words from escaping your mouth unwillingly. Everyone in camp is silent as they watch on, not even the chickens seem to make a sound.

John is the first to speak, his hand scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Well...that's one way to tell him." His raspy voice seemingly breaking the spell over camp as whispers being to roll through the air.

"She's pregnant?"

"Another child in camp?"

"Arthur's going to be a dad?"

Arthur and Dutch turn at the same time to stare at you, both of their faces drained of colour.

Ignoring the fact that all eyes are on you, you cross over to Arthur taking his hands in yours. His face is unreadable as he stares at you, and behind his eyes you see a war is waging. His jaw is tense, and you see the muscles tick.

"Arthur, please say something." You whisper as he continues to stare at you in silence.

"You're...pregnant." He repeats the words as you nod to confirm the statement. "I'm sorry." He continues as your brows knot in confusion, why is he apologizing? "I'm sorry, you deserve better than this." Pulling his hands from yours he turns and walks to his horse without another word.

"Arthur?" He mounts his horse not sparing you a glance.

"Arthur!" You yell after him as you watch him kick her on and out of camp.

You feel your world implode and you drop to you knees, he really had just left, his parting words 'You deserve better than this." Better than what? Him? You didn't want better than him, there was no better than him. Vaguely aware of John's arms around your shoulders you bury your face in his chest as you begin to sob, his arms slowly rocking you as your hands grab at his shirt.

"I'm going to kill him." You hear John whisper, but the words hold little comfort as you continue to sob against him.

You're alone. Pregnant and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!


	21. Promises in Rhodes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warnings smut.

Numb.

There was no other word to describe what you were feeling as you lay buried under blankets in your tent. It's around noon and Arthur had been gone since yesterday and the pitying looks from the camp had driven you to hide, no longer could you take the side glances and whispered conversations. 

Dutch seemed to have forgotten about the O'Driscolls, the news of your pregnancy seeming to have shaken him to the core. He'd spent most of the time since finding out alone by the river. A litter of finished cigars scattered by his feet. Hosea had tried to talk to him, attempting to convince him to help him go in search of Arthur but he'd simply mutter to himself about Arthur making his own decisions.

You sit up and pull your knees to your chest, as you begin to contemplate what your next move is. As much as you don't want to entertain the thought of a life without Arthur, you're aware there's more than just yourself to consider.

You stroke your belly, wondering when you'll begin to feel the life moving within. "What are we going to do little bean?" Tears begin to well at the silence that follows as you realise you've no idea what you're doing. Tugging the blanket closer around your shoulders you close your eyes and inhale the scent that is Arthur's, hoping it won't fade too quickly.

"YOU GODDAMN BASTARD ARTHUR MORGAN, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Abigail's screams cause you to snap you head up.

"Abigail, would you-OW!. Goddamnnit woman. OW STOP! 

You push yourself from the bed at the sound of his voice and rush out of the tent to the sight of Arthur trying to block Abigail as she swings at him with one of Pearson's pans.

"How dare you run away from her; I'm going to make you wish you were never born!" she aims a particularly forceful swing at his head which he avoids by ducking and covering his head.

"Woman, I said sto- "

"Arthur?" 

"Y/N, I-OW jesus!" he turns and see's you just as the pan connects with his temple.

"Go inside Y/N, I'll get rid of the bastard." She raises the pan again, but John grabs it from her, dragging her back and telling her to quit it.

Arthur straightens as he rubs his temple, his eyes looking bloodshot and tired as they meet yours.

"Y/n" he breathes your name as he slowly crosses over to you, taking your hands in his. "Y/N I- "

"You left." Your voice is small, and you hate the way it quivers.

His hands squeeze yours as his eyes cast down. He genuinely looks like hell, dark circles underline his eyes, probably mirroring yours, and his bruises are turning a deeper shade of purple. The stubble on his face now a few days old and borderline scruffy.

"I'm sorry, I left like I did, I panicked."

"Arthur I'm scared too, I've no idea what to do with a baby, but you can't just run away like that."

His hand leaves yours and reaches up to thumb away a tear sliding down your cheek, his calloused thumb slowly stroking you before reaching into his jacket.

"That's not why I left. I left because I needed to get this." 

He pulls out a small pouch as you frown in confusion, watching as he drops gingerly to one knee, you don't miss the small wince as he bends.

"I'm a fool and an idiot but I love you and I want to do right by you. You deserve better than this life, you, and our baby, but if there's one thing I can do, one thing I want to do, is marry you. So, Y/N Y/L/N, will you do this old fool the honours and be my wife? 

Your mouth goes slack as he slips a beautiful gold ring set with a round sapphire stone from the pouch. His hands hold yours lightly as he waits for your response.

"Arthur I- "

"I know you deserve better than anything I can give you but- "

"Yes."

"-But I'll give you whatever I ca- wait... yes?"

"Yes Arthur, I will marry you."

He surges up and lifts you in his arms, spinning you as he kisses your cheek, his injuries seemingly forgotten in his happiness. A chorus of cheers and whoops begin through the camp and they begin to realise what is happening. Setting you down his hands shakily place the ring on your finger, the smile on his face larger than you've ever seen.

You slide your hands around his neck, matching his smile as you play with the hair at the base of his neck. "Don't ever scare me like that again." You warn before pulling him down into a kiss.

His arms snake around your waist pulling you tighter against him and you feel the tension leave his body as he sighs into the kiss. You can't help as more tears spill down your cheeks, this time at least they fall with happiness. Feeling your tears, Arthur rests his forehead against yours, his hands gently cup your face and wipe away your tears.

"C'mon sweetheart, we have a lot to talk about." 

Nodding you let him lead you into your tent as your mind attempts catch up.

You're both seated on the cot as you twiddle with your new ring, its dark blue stone shining beautifully on your finger. You had to hand it to him, Arthur had taste, you opted not to ask if he stole it.

"So, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Your gut clenches not expecting him to go that route with the conversation, John had been right all along, Arthur was hurt that you hadn't told him.

"I uh, I dunno. I was scared, you always said this was no life for a child and when you left..."

"...You thought I'd left because of that "he casts his eyes down, shaking his head, "Jesus I'm sorry, I didn't even think." 

"Please don't apologise, there's something else you need to know."

His head raises as you take a deep breath and recount the reason you were in town that day, you tell him about John trying to stop you and about telling you about Isaac, he's quiet as he listens, nodding along to show he's listening. When you finish, he's silent as he stares at the floor, his elbows resting on his knees as his hands pick at callouses. 

You wait, expecting him to be mad, to yell, but instead he places a hand on your stomach. You jump slightly at the touch, not expecting it, but you cover his hand with yours, enjoying the warm feel of his large hand. 

"I'm gonna get you both out of here, with my last breath I'll protect you both."

Your breath catches at his words, so deep and full of promise, how could you ever doubt him? He pulls you gently to him and pulls you onto his lap, so your knees sit either side of his thighs. His hands smooth up your back as you tip his hat back to stare into his eyes, their familiar blueish colour staring straight into your soul. Your trace his lips with your fingers as he sits still, letting you play with his features. 

"You're going to be a wonderful father."

He kisses your thumb as you move your hands to cup his jaw, noting how his eyes flutter closed and his hands tighten on your waist.

"And I'll be proud to call myself Mrs. Morgan."

His eyes fly open to meet yours again, a light growl rumbling from his chest.

"Say that again." He whispers, thumbs rubbing circles on your hips.

"I'll be proud to call myself Mrs. Morgan." 

He surges forward capturing your lips with his, the movement so quick you gasp, and he seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his hand snaking up to fist in your hair and hold you against his mouth.

Like a man starved of touch he holds you impossibly tight, pulling you flush to him, so your stomach is flat against his. His tongue dances circles with yours as you grip the lapels of his jacket to ground yourself, his hat falling to the floor as you move with the kiss. You're completely consumed by him, his smell, his thighs thick between your legs, his large hands holding you tight, the burn of his stubble across your face, and the sweet taste of his mouth against yours.

All too soon he pulls away, breathing hard he lifts you effortlessly and lays you on the cot, shaking off his jacket as you sit up on your elbows to watch him. His eyes never leave yours as he peels down his suspenders and begins to unbutton his shirt. Taking the hint, you quickly follow suit, ridding yourself of your clothes and undergarments. A small smile plays on Arthurs lips as he cocks an eyebrow at your hasty undressing. All too slowly he unbuttons his jeans, sliding them down you note that he isn't wearing anything underneath and its your time to cock a brow as you watch his manhood spring free, bobbing slightly as he kicks away his jeans.

Arthur is always a sight when he's naked, his muscles hard from a life of work rather than for vanity, his chest lightly scattered with hair that trails down into a perfect line to his thick member. His thighs strong and large from riding, you blush as you remember how he once got you off with his thighs alone, encouraging you to ride them as you coated them in your juices.

Crawling onto the bed like a predator he kisses his way up your calves, his eyes never leaving yours as he works his way closers to where you need him most. His tongue draws a light circle on the inside of your thigh as his hands slowly eases your other open. Watching his every move you're not prepared for the rush of heat as he finally presses his lips to your clit, dropping back onto the bed you sigh in pleasure as his begins to draw slow circles over you with his tongue, drawing the pleasure from your slowly.

"Arthur please." You sigh as you feel the familiar coil in your stomach begin to tighten.

"I'm right here sweetheart." He whispers before resuming his movements, only this time he begins to suck, knowing it will quickly bring you to your peak. 

You both know this isn't a time for teasing, it's a conversation. Your bodies whispering promises to each other, welcoming each other together. 

Your hands fly to his hair as he pushes you over the edge, your head flying back against the cot as he works you through your orgasm, drawing out every inch of pleasure he can from you. Your mind is blank with the after glow of please that you barely register him kissing his way up your body, savoring every inch of your skin, and leaving your skin tingling with each kiss. 

He pauses as he comes face to face with your stomach, staring intently as if he can see within, closing his eyes Arthur presses a slow lingering kiss to your belly, almost like he's speaking to the child that lies within. Continuing up your body he holds his weight above you on his elbow as he drops his head to kiss you slowly, his over hand guiding himself into you with ease. You both sigh as he pushes passed your entrance and into warm heat. The wetness from your orgasm helping him slide through your folds.

Taking a moment for you to adjust he wraps and arm around your waist, drawing you as close to him as possible, instinctually your legs wrap around him as your fingers sink into his back urging him to move. 

Slowly, he draws back before sinking back into you. His pace is slow as he continues to kiss you, his breath hitching into a low moan every now and then. You're both entirely lost in each other, feeling much more than pleasure as his hips rock into yours. You feel his pace begin to stutter as he moans into your mouth, you can't help but sigh his name as he brushes against the spot in you that causes your toes to curl. Feeling you clench around him he draws back from your kiss, resting his forehead to yours as he continues to brush against the spot, urging your end to catch his.

"Sweetheart I love you." He pants as his pleasure begins to peak, his eyes watching your face and he knows you're going over the edge with him.

You can't reply, as your walls begin to flutter around him, his name no more than a prayer on your lips. His hand tightens on your hip, thighs going tight as he spills into you with a grunt. 

Coming down from your high you feel him slip from you and collapse on the bed beside you, he wastes no time in drawing you onto him, letting you rest your head on his chest as his arms circle your waist.

"We're going to be okay Mrs. Morgan." He sighs and presses a kiss to you head.

For the first time you begin to believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really need to work on writing angst, I just couldn't keep them apart.


	22. Two Fathers in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hosea and Dutch both have something to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: slight smut. And by slight I mean there’s smut.

"Arthur Morgan, you get your sorry ass out here now!" Grimshaw's shrill voice disturbs the blissed-out atmosphere of the tent.

Arthur groans as his dozing is disturbed, his hands coming up to rub the sleep from his face. He looks down at his chest to where you're peacefully sleeping, your new engagement ring sparkling as it catches the light. He's lost for a moment in the sight, you are sleeping in his arms, the promise of being his wife glinting on your finger, the life he helped create growing in your womb. Lifting his hand as gently as he can he brushes a loose strand of hair from your face before dropping his hand to your belly.

He wasn't around when Eliza was pregnant, so he has no idea when he'll begin to feel the baby move, trying to think back to when Abigail was pregnant, he remembers she was much rounder when she complained of Jack kicking from within. He couldn't wait to see you round and full, the image causing a smile to creep across his face as he thought of how beautiful you'd look.

"Jesus woman, can't you give them a moments peace?" the rasping of John's voice immediately pulls him from his thoughts.

Grimshaw wastes no time in turning on John, their bickering becoming white noise outside the tent and effectively ruining any chance he had of returning to his peaceful state.

Sighing he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, muttering to himself, "No goddamn peace in this place."

"I'd get out there before she comes in here and drags you out." you groan, attempting to bury yourself further into Arthur's chest.

Feeling you awake and your heat against him Arthur is in no mood to move, instead he turns and draws you in closer, completely engulfing your body against his as he slips a knee between your legs. You gasp at the contact as he brushes against a particularly sweet spot. Noting your reaction, he pulls you closer with a hand on your hip, grinding your core against his upper thigh. You whimper at the movement, your hips taking over the movement as the wetness between your legs begins to grow.

"There she is. So good for me, there you go darlin', find your pleasure." His voice is deep as he drawls out praise for you, encouraging you to ride his thigh harder.

All too quickly you're becoming a panting mess as he continues to whisper in your ear. His hands still guiding you against him he presses wet kisses along your neck as he senses you drawing close to your peak.

"That's it. Just like that. Keep going for me sweetheart."

You feel yourself tipping over the edge, your body going ridged as you begin to sigh his name breathlessly.

"Arth-. "

"Arthur Morgan, if you're not out here in five seconds, I'll come in there and drag you out myself!

Groaning loudly in frustration you cease your movements and press your head to his chest, your orgasm effectively chased away by Susan's screeching.

Arthur can't help but chuckle as he strokes your hair sympathetically before swinging his legs from the bed and pulling on his jeans. "I'm sorry darlin', I'll make it up to you later."

Still grumbling to yourself you follow his lead and get dressed, your movements jerky and agitated as you feel the frustration of orgasm denial settle within you.

"Took you long enough." Susan greets you as you follow Arthur from the tent, smoothing your hair as you try to hide any evidence of yours and Arthur's mischief. 

Susan isn't a fool however, casting you a judging eyebrow before continuing with her agenda.

"Mr. Morgan, we have much to do to prepare this place for a new baby, but first..."

"Jesus woman!" Arthur rubs the back of his head where Susan swiftly hit him. "Will everyone stop hitting me!?" he growls, casting a scowl at Susan as you cover your mouth to hide your smirk.

"That is for running away on this poor girl and scaring us all!" she points her finger at him menacingly.

Arthur continues to rub the sore spot, glaring at her with the look of a scolded child, but you don't miss the flash of guilt that passes over his features. He knows he's messed up leaving the way he did but the constant reminder from everyone in camp was going to be a hard pill to swallow for him.

Susan, satisfied with her telling off, turns her attention to you, her features softening instantly. "Now you dear, how are you feeling? Have you been taking any herbs to help with the baby? When did you last bleed? Do you know how far along you are?"

Steering you from Arthur she steals you away as you look back at him desperate for help, hoping he'd save you and find an excuse to avoid Susan's fussing, but the wicked smile that plays across his features tells you all you need to know, he's giving you no help. Rolling your eyes, you stick out your tongue like a child, before turning back to Susan and accepting that the rest of your day is going to entail her barking orders and getting you up to speed on your pregnancy. You were thankful for her mothering ways, but you'd just gotten Arthur back, and you weren't too keen on being away from him just yet.

Watching you get dragged away Arthur can't help but smile to himself, the news that he was going to be a father again was still settling in his mind. He was happy. He felt he had been offered a second chance.

With Eliza things had been different, they hadn't meant anything to each other, no more than a one-night stand with consequences. When he'd found out she'd had Isaac he'd immediately gone to her, offering whatever help he could. Although he loved that little boy and over the years he and Eliza has grown to become good friends, he never truly felt like the father he wanted to be. He was always on the outskirts of their life, living with the gang and visiting when he could, he missed so much of Isaac's development. When he'd found them dead and buried, he'd buried that part of him too, believing that he was never meant to be a father, that the life he led would always prevent it. 

When he heard you speak the words his mind had gone into overdrive, his first thought was that he had failed you. He always had a plan to marry you, he wanted to get you out of this life, find a home for you both and then make you his wife. When you told him you were pregnant his mind conjured images of people calling you a whore for carrying a child out of wedlock, he had to protect you, his first instinct, fix this and marry you. He never told anyone about his mother's ring, not even his own father knew he had it. She'd given it to him on her death bed, hoping it would serve him better than it had served her, even when he was young, desperate, and starving, he refused to sell it. He'd kept the ring hidden in a deposit box at the Rhodes bank under the name Tacitus and when he left camp the other day that was the first place he headed, having not seen the ring in 20 years. 

Arthur had been engaged once before, to a Mary Gillis, but it never crossed his mind to use his mother's ring then, instead opting to engage her with a small diamond ring he'd stolen from a stagecoach., but with you it felt different. He almost felt his mother willing him to give you the ring, like she knew the ring had found its rightful home on your finger.

Hosea's hand pats Arthur's shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts.

"You worried me for a minute there Arthur, I didn't think you were coming back."

"Yea... Seems everyone thought that." 

"Well can you blame us Arthur? "

"No, I guess I rightly can't."

Taking a visible pause Hosea nods his head and begins walking towards his tent, indicating that Arthur should follow. Drawing the tent flaps closed behind him he turns and regards Arthur, taking in the grown man before him and still only seeing the lost young teenager he'd taken in all those years ago. 

The air feels heavy as he waits for Hosea to speak, wondering what he could possibly need the privacy for.

"Arthur, I know it was hard for you when you lost Isaac."

"Hosea please I-"

"No son let me finish. I know it was hard to lose your son, none of us can even imagine what a loss like that must have felt like but this is a second chance for you. A second chance for you to be happy."

Arthur nods as a small frown worries his brow. Where was Hosea going with this?

Hosea begins to pace as he struggles to find the words, "What I'm trying to say Arthur is I want you to have a real shot with that girl. It's the least you deserve."

Bending behind his cot Hosea pulls out a small mahogany box, he stares at it as he strokes the lid before handing it to Arthur.

The box is light in his hands as he takes it, turning it around he see's two letters engraved on the lid.

B & H

"Bessie and I...we had plans. We wanted to have a chance at a proper life, outside of the gang and away from all this. But...it wasn't meant to be for us." 

A sad smile crosses his face as he takes a moment before continuing. 

"We never had children Arthur; we never had the chance to. You and John are the closest thing to sons I have, and I want to do right by you both."

Arthur begins to sense where the conversation is going, the box suddenly feeling much heavier in his hands as he realizes his father figure is much more intuitive than he ever gave him credit for.

"That's all the money Bess and I saved for our new life. She fell too ill before we could use it and... well...I want you to have it. You and Y/N, I want you to take it and get the hell out of this life."

Arthur is speechless as Hosea finishes, unsure how to continue. Here he was being given a chance at the life he so desperately wanted to give to you, he owed the man before him more than he could ever know. Feeling too lost for words he does the only thing he can think of, he draws Hosea into a tight hug. Knowing his adopted son was not one to share his affection lightly Hosea welcomed the hug with open arms. 

Meanwhile, across camp Susan has you drinking down some god-awful cocktail of herbs as Swanson listens to your heart rate. 

"All of it! You have to finish the whole thing!" she barks when you gag on a particularly lumpy mouthful.

"Well, heartrate is good, you seem in top shape" Swanson declares as he begins to pack up his supplies. "If you begin to feel pain at all you let me know."

Thanking him you quickly roll down your shirt, relieved to have the life growing inside you healthy. As Susan ushers you to finish your herb cocktail Dutch wanders over, looking somewhat distracted as he makes his way into the tent, puffing anxiously on his cigar.

"Mind if Miss Y/L/N and I have a moment alone?"

Casting a side glance, you see Susan hesitate, the next batch of herb she was preparing half mixed on the side. She knew nothing good could come from any conversation he wanted to have and was concerned to leave you alone with him, her mothering instincts kicking into overdrive at the look on his face. You see her about to protest, her mouth almost forming the words, but one look from Dutch has her thinking better of arguing, instead snapping her mouth shut and opting to leave you alone. 

The worried look she offers as she leaves isn't lost on you, and you try to compose yourself before you end up mirroring the look on your own face. Turning to Dutch you steel yourself, preparing for whatever is about to come your way.

Seating himself on Swanson's abandoned chair he regards you with a soft smile, taking a long drag of his cigar he exhales slowly before speaking.

"So, should your child call me Grandpa or pops?"

Well, that wasn't the conversation you were expecting, feeling guarded and nervous, you wait for him to continue. Watching as a small smirk plays across his face, you feel your hair begin to stand on edge, like the calm before the storm you sense something is coming. Something you're not going to like.

"Yea neither of those sound right to me, besides, Arthur never really called me Dad, Hosea was always 'Dad' to him."

You hear to scorn in his voice, as if he were jealous of Arthur and Hosea's bond.

"Regardless of what he called me, Arthur is my son, and I will always protect him, even if that means protecting him from things, he doesn't realise he needs protecting from. Do you understand what I'm saying Miss Y/L/N?"

"Not really, no." you grit through your teeth, already not liking where this was going.

"Well, you see, Arthur has responsibilities, to the gang, to his family..." 

The word family clearly implying he didn't include you. 

"...and I don't think we...sorry he... can afford a distraction right now."

"What are you saying Dutch?" your blood is beginning to boil, and your patience is wearing thin.

"Oh, my dear, it's nothing personal, but as Arthur's father the task usually falls to me to clean up his little problems. I had the same conversation with Mary, because I know what's best for Arthur and what Arthur needs is for you or your baby to disappear."

"I'll let Arthur be the judge of what he needs, Arthur can control his own life. And Dutch, I'll thank you not to talk about our baby in that way." You practically spit the words in his face as your fists clench and unclench with anger.

Pushing himself from the chair he takes another long drag from his cigar before blowing the smoke at you.

"Well somethings not even Arthur can control. Pregnancy can be very unpredictable...Very unpredictable indeed." 

With those as his final words he leaves the tent, leaving you stunned as your protectively cover your stomach with your hands. 

Did Dutch just threaten you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late, I had such a hard time writing this and I'm still not 100% happy with it. But hey ho, onwards and upwards, I hope you had a good weekend!
> 
> I’m considering writing some one shots as there’s other ideas I’d like to explore but not in a fulll story, would you guys be interested in that? If so I’d love some requests to get me started :)


	23. Hormones in Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is struggling with the hormonal changes of her pregnancy but Arthur is there to lend a hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated Valentine's day. Warning, smut and fluff to follow.  
> I recommend listening to these songs as you read this, just to get you in the mood! ;)  
> Watch Me Burn - Michele Marrone  
> I See Red - Everyone Loves an Outlaw  
> River- Bishop Briggs 
> 
> This was going to be one long chapter but I've decided the break the next part off into it's own so we can just enjoying the happiness in this chapter as it is. 'Cos trust me....bad times are a coming.

2 Months later

The air is warm as spring takes its grip across the landscape; you sit shading below a tree enjoying the warm breeze that licks at your skin. The camp is peaceful as the warm air brings out the best in Susan who has opted to give everyone a day off from chores. Most of the gang had chosen to laze around but Hosea had taken the opportunity to go fishing. Arthur had offered to go with him, but he insisted he go alone muttering something about needing the space. Arthur informed you that it was close to the anniversary of Bessie's death and he often withdrew into himself around this time. You'd taken the chance to read but you'd become distracted. Your fingers lazily trace over the curve of your bump as you watch Arthur chopping wood, his shirt discarded in the heat and his muscles on full display, a sheen of sweat enhancing the hard lines of his body. 

Wiping his brow of sweat he straightens and catches your eyes on him, a ghost of a smirk crosses his lips as you quickly lower your eyes to the book that lay forgotten on your lap. Your hormones had been going crazy with your pregnancy and you had been using Arthur to satisfy your urges, and he was more than happy to assist in anyway he could, often dropping whatever he was doing to take you back to your tent and quell your desires. One time the urge took you so suddenly you begged him to take you then and there, not one to deny you he slipped his hand in yours and guided you around the back of Pearson's wagon. Wrapping your legs around him he took you hard against the wagon, his hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your cries, the thought of being caught turning you both on more.

Since finding out about your pregnancy Arthur had been the father-to-be you could only dream of, his actions clearly an attempt at absolving the guilt he carried of missing Isaac's early months. He'd taken to his role like a duck to water and had been practically glowing with happiness. He'd told you of the money Hosea had given him and how you were all so close to getting out. You'd pleaded with him to leave then and there, the conversation Dutch and you had had still fresh on your mind, but he insisted that him had John had things to finish first. You hadn't told him about Dutch's threat knowing no good would come of it, Arthur wouldn't hesitate to murder him, and you knew he would never be able to live with the guilt if he did. Instead, you kept quiet, enjoying your pregnancy but keeping a wide birth of Dutch where possible and so far, he had afforded you the same curtesy.

A dark shadow shades your book causing you to raise your head in protest, but the words are swallowed as you see Arthur standing over you with one arm leaning against the tree, his skin shining, shirt in hand and his chest heaving from the physical labour, you fight the urge to lick your lips as you take him in and feel your hormones stirring.

"Ya know, ya make it real hard for a man to concentrate on his work." 

"I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Morgan." He offers you a hand, which you gratefully take, your small bump already hindering your movements.

Lifting you effortlessly he uses your unbalance to pull you close to him, his arm snaking around your waist and holding you like a vice against him. 

Dropping his head low to your ear he whispers against it, causing you to shudder. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, starin' at me like ya wanna eat me. Didn't I satisfy you enough this morning?'

You blush at his words, remembering how the urge had taken you this morning and he'd woken up to you grinding your ass against him, trying to find the friction you so desired. Being the dutiful fiancé he was, he'd dropped between your knees straight away bringing you to the edge with his mouth over and over.

"Urrrrgh, this goddmamn baby of yours has me going insane." You bury your face in his chest, frustrated at yourself for not being able to get enough.

Arthur can't help but chuckle at your neediness as he kisses the top of your head. "Well, darlin I probably got one more round in me if ya want?"

Hearing his words, you waste no time as you grab his hands and drag him across camp to your shared tent. He follows along laughing to himself as you're driven on primal instinct alone. He pulls the tent flaps closed as he catches sight of Javier by the fire, a knowing shit eating grin on his face. The poor man shared the tent by yours and had no doubt heard the screams of pleasure Arthur had been pulling from you recently. 

"Arthur c'mon I need you now!" you whine from the bed as he takes his time with the fastenings of the tent flaps.

Shaking his head at your bossiness he stalks over to you slowly, his muscle, power, and authority making you shiver with anticipation. Knowing him like you did he never scared you, but you understood why he was so often used as the muscle on jobs. If he came over to you, gun in hand, and bandana across his face, you'd roll over and give him whatever he wanted. Luckily for you, right now you were exactly what he wanted.

His eyes darken and he licks his lips at the sight of you squirming with anticipation on the bed before him. 

"Darlin'... Who's in charge here?" he practically growls causing you to whimper and grip the sheets beneath you.

Oh, he was in that mood...

Resting a knee between your legs he leans over you, his hand snaking up to squeeze your throat slightly. You swallow with desire and need as he kisses over the collar of your shirt, stopping when he notices something. Drawing back to take in your shirt, cocking his head to the side he realizes you're wearing his favourite blue union shirt.

"My shirt?" he fingers the collar, leaving goosebumps on your skin as his fingertips ghost over the material and catch you slightly.

"My clothes are getting too tight and your shirts are some much comfier." You blush, feeling guilty for not asking.

Nodding he trails his fingers down the buttons causing your breath to hitch as he trails over the swell of your belly to where you need him most.

"Darlin' you've been real disobedient lately..." 

His fingers trail over your clothed core making you ache with need. 

"...Been so needy..." he continues as his fingers grasp the material of you skirt and underwear and pull them down slowly.

"...Wearing me out..." standing, he throws your skirt and underwear behind him as he smooths his hands up your bare thighs, you gasp as the cold air hits you, causing goosebumps to prickle your skin.

"...Now I catch you stealing my clothes? Sweetheart, I'm afraid you're going to have to be taught how to behave."

"Arthur, please I..." 

You swallow the rest of your words has his mouth connects to your dripping core, licking up your juices and causing you to throw your head back against the cot. His tongue is like the devils as he laps at your entrance before slipping your clit between his lips, sucking it harshly and making you clasp a hand over your mouth to hide your moans.

Seeing your hand across your mouth he pulls away from your core growling at you, he removes your hand from your mouth and collects your other so both of your hands sit locked tightly in one of his.

"You're gonna be quiet but ya ain't cheating." He growls darkly before dipping his head back between your thighs, his tongue dancing circles over your clit and through your folds.

You're completely at his mercy as he dips his tongue into your core, groaning as he feels you try to grind against his face. You're practically biting through your lip as you try to hold in your moans, but you know this is a battle you'll lose, and so does Arthur. You never stand a chance when he is in this mood, he'll push your body to the edge over and over again, taking your pleasure as his, not stopping until he hears you screaming his name.

He senses you getting close and draws your clit into his mouth, sucking gently as he eyes you writhing above him. Hearing your resolve break and his name begin to fall from your lips he draws back, stopping his movements right as you're about to crash over the edge.

"No! Please... Arthur, I need this... please..." there's no other way to describe it, you're begging him for it at this point. Your hormones and desire for him completely fogging your brain.

Standing to his full height he draws his eyes over you, his new favourite sight in the world. You, round with his child, wrapped in his shirt, and begging for him. Feeling his own resolve slipping he shakes his head to clear his thoughts, he knows you love it deep down when he takes control of you, but right now he wants nothing more than to let you ride him senseless. But this isn't about him, it's about you. It's always going to be about you with him. Maybe when his child comes along, you'll share an equal standing in his life, but right now his sole purpose is you, and giving you everything he can.

"You're not behaving darlin', I'm pretty sure I heard your moan." He watches as your pussy clenches around nothing in need at his words and it takes everything in his power not to drop back down and finish you off. 

Taking his time, he unbuckles his gun belt and jeans, letting them drop to the floor so he's standing before you completely naked and looking like the gods themselves sculpted him. You freeze taking him in, his scars his hair, his muscles, everything about him was perfect. As he moves over you, you practically vibrate with need as he lines himself up at your entrance. Guiding himself through you juices and preparing himself.

"You gonna be good for me darlin'? You gonna do as you're told?"

You're too far gone for words, instead you nod your head violently feeling him press his head against you.

"You're gonna cum, but only when I say okay?"

You nod again but he growls at you, grabbing your throat and squeezing.

"Words Y/N, I need you to use your words."

"YES! Arthur...god...please." 

"I don't believe you..."

Oh, he was really going to make you beg today. The head of his cock is still pressed tightly to your entrance, threatening to slip in.

"Arthur please, I promise. Just fuck me goddamnit!" 

Satisfied with your begging he thrusts into you, squeezing your throat and cutting off your moan as he lets loose a relieved sigh. 

"Always so goddamn tight." He sighs as he waits for you to adjust to him.

This is his favourite feeling in the world. You wrapped tightly around him, so warm and inviting, the slight pulse of your walls coaxing him to move within you. Taking a moment to compose himself he releases your throat before snaking his arm under you, pulling you impossible tight against him so he can feel your bump against his stomach. He'll never admit it to anyone, not even you, but the thought of you swollen and round with his child turns him on in a way he can't explain.

Feeling you adjust he begins to thrust into you, his hips slowly arching against yours as he keeps you close, not daring to pull away to thrust, he wants to feel all of you against him right now.

"Arthur..." Your breath hitches as the tip of his cock rubs against your sweet spot. "I can't...I'm not going to last..." you begin to shake as you try to fight your impending orgasm.

"You got this sweetheart, hold on for me." He grits through his teeth as he drops his head to your neck and chases his own release. "Fuck you're so perfect."

His hips begin to stutter as he feels the familiar prickle of an orgasm up his back. "Hold on for me darlin' you got this." 

Tears begin to stream from your eyes as you try to hold back your orgasm, you're practically a live wire waiting to explode and the feel of his groin gliding across your clit each time he slides into you is too much to handle.

"Arthur... I...." 

"Hold it sweetheart...do as you're told." His thrusts contradict his words as his hips continue to push you over the edge.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Arthur!" you scream and claw at his back as your orgasm washes over you. 

He can't help but smirk to himself at your disobedience, knowing you never stood at chance. Feeling your walls pulse around him he chokes back a moan as he releases himself into you. 

Breathless and sweating harder than before he holds his weight off you, cautious of your belly and he tries to find the strength to move off you. With a wince at the over stimulation, he slides out of you and collapses beside you on the bed.

"Darlin' you really are bad at following instructions." He chuckles as he rolls to place a hand on your bump.

You're still too blissed out to respond, instead you just cover his hand with your own. Smiling at the image of you finally satisfied Arthur shifts to face your bump, placing a kiss over the shirt.

"I hope you're better than your mother at doing as she's told-ow!"

You flick the top of his head and chuckle at his silliness. "If they're anything like their daddy we're in for a world of trouble." 

Resting his chin on you bump he watches you for a moment, you see a whole river of emotions and thoughts cross though his mind before he finally speaks.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For this." He caresses your belly. "For giving me a chance at the life I didn't know I wanted, and I certainly don't deserve."

Sitting up you grasp his head, pulling his eyes level with yours. "Don't you dare say you don't deserve this." You scold, not giving him a chance to respond you kiss him deeply and feel his arms wrap around you. 

You refuse to break the kiss, almost willing him with your mouth to accept that he deserves this life. Too often he fights with his mind that as an outlaw he deserves nothing from this life, but you know him, and you know he deserves so much more than the world can give him. 

All too soon the moment is lost as a commotion begins to stir outside of the tent. You hear horses whinnying and shouts from voices you don't quite recognize. Suddenly John's rasping voice yells from outside of you tent.

"Arthur! If you two love birds are done, you might want to get out here, we got a problem."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd you like this chapter? I love hearing your thoughts. I feel like I’m losing a little momentum with this story so I’m considering taking a break and working on some other things. With the new marvel releases and considering working on some Marvel works.


	24. Pain in Rhodes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, angst, gun fights, and major character death.
> 
> sorry.

Frowning Arthur is off the bed in an instant, jumping into his jeans and buckling up his gun belt up in an instant. Shrugging on his shirt he peeks out of the tent and curses. 

"Shit. Stay here" He growls before disappearing out of the tent before you can say anything, but not before you see his hand twitch over his gun. 

Scrambling from the cot you pull on your skirt, tucking in your shirt as you begin to feel dread creep under your skin. 

What the hell was going on out there? 

You hear more yells, but this time they're clearer, close enough for you to pick up the tell-tale twang of an Irish accent. Shit. Feeling your blood freeze, you hold your breath and sneak a peek through the tent flaps. The gang, whether knowingly or unintentionally have blocked the view of your tent as they face off against ten O'Driscolls, each laden with guns and ready to fire. 

The camp falls silent as they settle into their standoff, the air heavy with tension as the clicking of gun chambers sets the tone. Dutch's voice is the first to break the silence, from your position you can't see him, but from knowing him you know his posture is self-assured and cocky, his hand most likely on his hip while his other nurses a cigar.

"Gentleman, to what do we owe the pleasure of this intrusion on such a fine day?"

"We're here for the woman." A voice you can't see responds.

"What woman would that be?" Dutch responds but you feel you already know the answer, your hands sliding protectively over your belly. 

"Don't play dumb Dutch, Colm knows she's here and he wants her back. Said he's waited long enough."

The next voice isn't Dutch's, but Arthur's, as he practically spits and roars with anger, "You listen here you son of a bitch, she ain't got anything to do with Colm and if he thinks otherwise, I'll be happy to remind him. Now get the hell out of here before I put a bullet in ya!"

"He thought you'd say something like that so he's offering you a trade." You can't see, but the smile is evident in his voice.

Your ears pick up as you listen to the conversation continue, you stand on your tiptoes trying to see more through the slit in the tent. As you teeter on your toes you see the man who speaks for the group motion behind him, one of his lackies brings forth a hooded man with his hands tied behind his back. 

"She comes with us or he dies." He pushes the man to the ground and out of your view, all you see is the hood lifted in the air as the camp gasps.

"Hosea!" you hear Arthur cry, and you begin to feel sick as what is unravelling at your expense.

"Caught the old man alone by the water, said he was just a simple fisherman, but..." He laughs and it sickens you deeper to your core. "... every con man worth his salt knows old Hosea here. The man is somewhat of a legend...I'd be sad to see him go."

"Don't listen to them son, keep her safe." You hear Hosea's voice from the ground and cover your mouth to hold back a sob.

This was worse than you could have ever imagined, they were trying to bargain you for Hosea's life. How could you ever let him lay down his life for you, after all he had given you both? The man was practically Arthur's father, this would surely break him. Realizing there was no option but to save Hosea you take a deep breath and step from the tent. 

"STOP!" you scream as you step from the tent, the gang parts ways allowing you to see Hosea, bloodied and leaning over his side painfully.

"Y/N! Get back inside!" Arthur rushes to you, his body trying to block you from the O'Driscolls' hungry eyes but it's too late.

"Well, well well... Isn't this an interesting turn of events? Ol' Colm's gonna have quite the shock when he sees his girl up the duff." 

Arthur turns and pushes you behind him protectively, his gun raised in an instant and pointing at the O'Driscoll holding Hosea down. "She's not his girl and she ain't going anywhere. Now do yourselves a favour and leave before I have anymore blood on my hands. 

The anger in his voice causes you to flinch, you peer around his shoulder to see Hosea pleading at Arthur with his eyes. Silently, begging him to choose your life over his, begging him to choose his family and the life it promises him. The way Hosea saw it he'd lived his life conning people, some innocent, some not so much, and now he'd been given an opportunity for redemption, a chance to give the only son he'd known a shot at the life he'd dreamed of for Bessie and himself. 

Watching the gang, your family, stand off against the O'Driscoll's you realize there's no way out of this, not without bloodshed. You have to end this, once and for all. Placing a hand lightly on Arthur's shoulder you step around him, feeling his eyes whip around and follow you.

"Enough fighting, I'll go with you. Just..." your eyes cast down to Hosea on the ground, he looks old and frail for the first time ever. "...Just let Hosea go."

"Y/n..." Hosea, Arthur, and John all breathe your name at the same time, ready to protest, but you cut them off.

"This has to end, and I'm ending it now."

"Y/n, don't be silly." Hosea wheezes painfully. "Go with Arthur, start your life together. I'm-I'm ready to be with Bessie, don't worry about me-AH!"

Hosea falls face first to the ground spluttering thanks to the revolver that connects with his skull.

"Enough talking, now lady you coming with us or not?" the Irishman spits.

Taking a deep breath, you nod your head, not trusting your voice with the tears that threaten to spill at any moment. Arthur could get you out of this right? He'd find a way; he always finds a way. You don't bare to turn and look at Arthur, hoping he understands you're doing this for him and Hosea, and that you will fight with everything you have once you know Hosea is safe. 

But you never make the first step forward, Arthur's voice booms an unintelligible sound of rage as his arm pulls you back harshly, his thumb clicks back the chamber of his revolver and before you can stop him, he fires. Never one to miss a target, Arthur's bullet hits its mark square in in the forehead of the O'Driscoll holding Hosea. He drops like a lead balloon, folding in on himself onto the ground. 

The world is silent and appears in slow motion for a heartbeat while both gangs face off and catch up to Arthur's actions. It doesn't take long and soon gunshots and screams fill the air. Arthur is fast, pulling you harshly behind the food wagon and out of the spray of bullets that fly through the air, you watch while he fires off a few rounds taking down another O'Driscoll. The sounds are too much, and you sink to the ground, hugging your knees and covering your ears to block out the fight that rages around you. You can't stand anymore fighting, any more worry of who you might lose next. You worry about Jack and Abigail, hoping John is as fast as Arthur at getting them to safety.

Arthur peeks back to see you curled up on the ground with your head low over your knees. This was the final straw, when this was over, he was taking you out of here, tonight. He just had to get the gang out of this mess first. Scanning the camp, he sees Sadie and Charles firing off against three O'Driscolls who've taken cover by the medical wagon, the horses by them rear and whinny in fear, trying to pull free of their restraints. Dutch and Lenny are behind the trees surrounded by four others who are closing in fast. Arthur tries to find Hosea, knowing he was still restrained and probably unable to get himself to safety with his limited range of motion, and that's when he spots him.

Hosea is being dragged back behind the trees by two of them, he kicks and fights as best he can, but he doesn't stand a chance.

"Shit!" Arthur curses, if he can't get Hosea to safety this fight will never end. 

Eyeing John, who's squatting behind some barrels he calls over, hoping they can both flank the men together and take them down.

"John! In the trees, you take left, I go right!"

John's eyes follow where Arthur motions and catches up quickly, nodding in agreement and making his way over to the left side of the tree.

Turning back to you Arthur hesitates before squatting down and wrapping your fingers around his spare pistol.

"Arthur, no I can't!"

"Sweetheart, I have to get Hosea. You can do this, just stay here, and stay low. If they come around aim for the body, it's a bigger target." 

He presses a quick kiss to your hair and before you have the chance to protest, he's gone, firing off bullets as he dives for cover. You sit frozen, and waiting, feeling the cold weight of steel in your hands. You're not scared of dying, not really, what scares you most is losing Arthur or your baby. You don't think you can survive losing either of them. Turning onto you knees you peer through the wagon's wheels, watching as John and Arthur stalk towards the trees in perfect unison.

"Quit fighting old man, it's not you Colm wants any way its her." The O'Drsicolls struggle and pull against Hosea's squirming as they try to make it to their horses.

Arthur nods over to John, letting him know its time to make a move and in unison they step from their cover. Arthur is quick, taking down the man at Hosea's feet but John isn't so lucky. His bullet grazes the other man's arm, causing him to yell, but not taking him down, he's fast and quickly pulls Hosea up to shield himself.

"Let. Him. Go." Arthur grits through his teeth, the anger and frustration practically vibrating through his body.

"I ain't going back to Colm empty handed, it's either old man or the girl!" the man's voice shakes in fear as he presses the gun to Hosea's temple.

"You ain't gonna make it back to Colm if you don't let him go!" John's rasping voice fails to hide the anger and fear he harbors.

"I'd rather die than face Colm empty handed!"

The man roars a wordless yell and Arthur watches helplessly as he pulls the trigger, Hosea's head snaps to the side as blood and skull splatter across the man's face! Somewhere Arthur hears John cry out and fire, taking down the man in a clean shot, but Arthur is frozen. He stands with his gun still raised as he watches the man who raised him fall to the ground lifeless. His father was dead, the only man that had ever truly cared for him was dead.

John drops by Hosea's body in an instant, screaming and shaking his limp body as if to wake him from a deep sleep. 

"HOSEA!" 

Arthur turns slowly as he hears Dutch yell, he'd seen the whole thing from his position and realized his partner was now gone. Suddenly, the camp fall silent. Like a bubble had burst, the gun fire stops and the last of the O'Driscolls flee to safety. 

"Dad." Arthur whispers as he lowers his gun.

You see Arthur drop to his knees and at first you worry he's hurt, but then you hear him yell. He screams into the air and you begin to sob, Hosea was gone, and all because of you. Scrambling to your feet you run over, throwing your body around Arthur's as you begin to sob, he doesn't move, like a rock he is solid and frozen, his eyes never leaving Hosea's body.

The men begin to gather around and still Arthur doesn't move.

"He's gone." Dutch whispers as he places a hand on John's shoulder. "He's gone." He repeats a little louder this time. "He's goddamn dead!" He yells, the anger becoming more evident. "HE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!" 

Your head snaps up and you realize his gun is pointing directly at you.

"He's dead because of you, you goddamn whore!" Dutch's gun shakes in his hand.

"Dutch..." the men speak together in shock, not knowing what to do next.

Arthur raises his head slowly and see's the gun trained on you, slowly he stands maneuvering you behind him. "Put the gun down Dutch." His voice is calm, tired almost.

"She's the reason he's dead Arthur!"

"I said. Put. The. Gun. Down." He pushes you back further, completely shielding you, so the gun is trained on him instead.

"Everything that's happened, it's because of her!"

Arthur has heard enough. Not caring about the gun, he lunges forward, knocking Dutch to the ground, his fists connecting heavily with his face.

"This is because of you! She was taken because of you! This whole goddamn fight is because you took his goddamn money!" Each sentence is punctuated with another blow.

John and Charles are the first to intervene, pulling Arthur from Dutch who curls over spitting blood on the ground. Arthur is breathless, his chest rising and fulling as he struggles against their hold.

"You are going to get us all killed Dutch and I'm not waiting around to let it happen! I'm done, I'm taking Y/N, and I'm gone. Tonight."

"Arthur." you and John speak together, both of you realizing that this was it. You were finally done and leaving.

Arthur shakes himself loose from their grip, taking one last look at Dutch he turns and wordlessly takes your hand, leading you to you tent and away from the scene.

This was it, you were finally getting out, but at what cost? Arthur had lost Hosea and now he was losing his family. Colm had proven he wouldn't stop coming after you so how long before he caught up to you both? As if Arthur had read your thoughts he stops before entering the tent, tears fill his eyes as he turns to face you.

"Pack your things you're leaving tonight with John."

"What do you mean?" you frown, not understanding what he was saying.

"There's a cabin North of Annesburg, John knows about it. Have him take you, Abigail, and Jack there."

"Arthur, what are you saying? What about you? I'm not leaving without you!" You begin to yell and pound your fists on his chest. 

He grabs your wrists and pulls them gently from him as a tear falls down his cheek. "John will keep you safe, you and the baby."

"Arthur no, please." You begin to sob.

"I have to end this." He kisses your lips, and you feel his tears wet on his cheek. "I'm going to kill Colm and end this."

And with that he walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hated writing this chapter, which is why it took me over a week to update. As always, I love reading your comments, so good or bad, let me know your thoughts!


	25. A New Friend at Roanoke

The man you loved; the father of your unborn child, you watched as he left again.  
Feeling your chest contract, you will yourself not to cry, knowing that tears will not remedy the situation. You see him ride away on his horse, dust kicking up as he gallops away. How had the day ended like this? This morning you’d been happy, surrounded by Arthur’s scent, enjoying his touch, thinking of what name your unborn child may bare, what your wedding day may look like. Now that all seemed so far away, a distant memory. Hosea was gone, Arthur was gone, Dutch hated you, and half the gang probably agreed with him. You felt so alone.

“Where’s Arthur going?” John jogs over wiping his face of blood and tears. The mask of a hardened outlaw replacing the look of a young man who just watched his father die.  
“To kill Colm.” You reply, void off emotion as you turn and begin packing your things.  
“What!?” He grabs your arm, spinning you to face him. “He’s going to get himself killed!”  
You nod your head, not trusting yourself to speak as tears threaten to spill.  
“Did he say what his plan was?”  
You hear the desperation and worry in John’s voice and you’re not sure if its from fear of losing someone else or from the knowledge that he is now responsible for Abigail, Jack, and his brother’s pregnant wife.  
“There’s a cabin North of Annesburg, he said you know about it?” You shake your arm loose and continue to pack your things.  
John frowns then nods as he follows you into the tent. “What about it?”  
“He said you’re to take us there.” You shove Hosea’s box into his hands. “That’s the money Hosea left; we’ll use it to buy what we need until we can get to Dutch’s stash.”  
John strokes the lid gently, his fingers tracing lines of the ‘H’. “Did he say when he’d be back?”

The question is too much, and you drop down to the bed and bury your face in your hands, sobbing gently as you realize you may never see him alive again. He’d left once before, to get you a ring, but this felt different. This felt final. You had no idea if you’d ever see him alive again.  
“I don’t think he can survive this John; he’s going to get himself killed and it’s because of me.”  
John sits beside you on the bed, pulling your head to his chest as he wraps his arms around you, his hand stroking gently across your hair to sooth you.  
“Y/N listen to me, I don’t know what Arthur’s plan is, but I know he ain’t stupid. I’ve seen that man walk away from fights where he’s outnumbered five to one and he never has a scratch on him. Colm doesn’t stand a chance. We’ll head up North to the cabin and wait for him.”  
You nod your head against John’s chest, forcing yourself to believe his words. Arthur wasn’t stupid in a fight, but he wasn’t invincible either. One day he may not walk away.

John leaves you to finish packing as he goes to gather up Abigail, Jack, and their things. You quickly throw anything you can find into your pack. As you begin to toss in blankets from the bed a book falls to the ground. Frowning you pick it up, examining the leather cover and strap that holds it closed.  
Arthur’s journal.  
He must have forgotten to put it in his satchel after your morning activities. Drawing the leather to your nose you inhale deeply, smelling the binding and faint scent of tobacco. You’d never asked Arthur what was in the journal, choosing to let him share it with you when he wanted. Feeling it too precious to leave behind you toss it into you pack along with a few of his shirts. Whether he’d wear them again or not you’d soon be far too large for your own.

“Ready to go?” John leans into the tent offering his hand for your heavy pack.  
You nod, handing him the baggage. Taking one last look around your tent you leave, following him to the wagon where Abigail sits with Jack curled up on her lap. He’s crying into her chest, no doubt traumatized from the earlier events.  
“Wait, where’s Keiron?” you pause, searching around the camp for him.  
“Y/n, you can’t be serious.”  
“He’s coming with us John. Besides…. Do you really wanna be one man responsible for a child and two women? Not to mention the fact that one of them is pregnant.”  
You watch John swallow and his skin lighten a shade. The weight of his new role no doubt playing on his mind. “Alright but you’re dealing with Morgan when he finds out.”  
Scanning the camp once more you spot him, calming down the horses and coaxing them back to their hitching posts. Picking up your skirt you rush over, startling him with your obvious urgency.  
“No time to explain.” You trip over your words. “We’re leaving, you with us or staying here?”  
His eyes widen as he tries to catch up to what you’re asking. “Leave? With you and them?” he nods back to the wagon.  
“Its that or stay here and wait for Colm.”  
Keiron nods decisively, his fingers finish tethering the horse and he steps around to follow you. Pausing as an idea strikes, you loosen the knot he just finished and pull the grey Turkoman along with you.  
“Ain’t that Hosea’s horse?” Keiron asks as you lead it to the wagon.  
“Was. We need it more than the camp does now.” You thrust the reins in his hands, indicating for him to ride alongside.  
“You sure about this Y/N?” John asks from the front of the wagon, eyeing Keiron suspiciously.  
You scramble into the back as best your pregnant belly will allow, huffing slightly as you find a comfortable spot.  
“Nope.” You reply, resting you head back against the wagon as it pulls away. 

_____________________________________ 

“We’re here!”  
John’ voice rouses you from your slumber, your body groaning in protest as you stretch against the hard wood. You blink your eyes open and see the stretch of forest before you. Pushing yourself forward you see a cabin nestled back against the scenery.  
“Willard’s Rest”  
The sign hangs dilapidated against it’s post but it doesn’t take away from the peaceful beauty of the place, even in the moonlight you can make out the vast expanse of green that surrounds you. The faint sound or running water lets you know there is a river nearby, inhaling deeply you smell wildflowers and the damp trees. It was truly breathtaking.  
A pang of sadness hits you as you realize Arthur isn’t here to enjoy the scene with you, a dark reminder of the day you’ve had, the loss you’ve suffered. Following Abigail from the wagon you see a woman stepping from the porch, a rifle slung over one shoulder. Frowning, you nudge Abigail who followings your line of site, her expression mirroring yours are the woman comes closer, pulling John into a tight embrace.  
You both watch in confusion as John and the woman exchange a few words, the woman’s face falls, and her eyes cast over to you, a look of sadness flashes across her features and you draw your arms self-consciously around yourself.  
John brings her over, throwing his arm around Abigail and drawing her close. Keiron begins unloading the wagon.

“This is Charlotte, she’s a friend of Arthur’s.”  
You frown further, Arthur had never mentioned a friend in the forest, let alone one he knew well enough to stay with in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.  
“You must be Y/N, Arthur told me so much about you.” Her smile is warm, and she offers you her slim hand.  
You shake it not wanting to be rude, but your gesture is short, and you quickly return your hand to your belly, finding comfort in knowing Arthur’s child lies within. Charlotte’s eyes follow your movement, a deep frown setting in her brows as she sees the swell under your shirt.  
“Your pregnant.” It’s not a question.  
“Yes, I’m due in about four months.”  
Sadness replaces her frown as she meets your eyes.  
“That explains a lot.” She whispers more to herself, turning she gestures for you all to follow.

Charlotte guides John and Abigail to a room as Keiron tends to the horses outside, leaving you to wander the small kitchen alone. You glance around the small room, trying to draw up a picture of your new host. Seeing various pelts and meats you realize she must be a hunter of sorts, living alone up here you suppose she’d have to be the nearest town was hardly close. Your mind doesn’t fail to remind you that this is the life you were aiming for, with Arthur. Him hunting for dinner, you caring for the home, your child playing safely in the garden. You drop into the chair heavily, too tired to be sad anymore.  
“He never told me you were pregnant.” Charlotte’s voice startles you as she reaches for a jug from the side, pouring you a cup before sitting down opposite.  
“And why would he?” You answer defensively.  
Charlotte smiles, pouring herself a drink before answering. “It explains why he was in such a hurry.”  
You were tired and beginning to become annoyed by her ability to dance around a clear answer. Reminding yourself she was currently the reason you had a roof over your head you swallow down an insult and decide to ask her outright.  
“How exactly do you know Arthur?”  
She smiles again as if remembering a fond memory, and it doesn’t fail to irk you more.  
“He’s a dear friend, and I owe him my life. My husband and I moved out here from the city.”  
You visibly relaxed at the mention of a husband.  
“Cal and I had no idea what we were doing, we moved here from Chicago. Your Arthur found me just after I buried him, I’d eaten the last of my food and would surely have starved had it not been for him helping me.”  
Feeling guilty for your jealousy you look away, but Charlotte’s next words draw you back to meet her eyes.  
“When he found out I was a widow he offered to buy the place, to help set me up in a town again. I was so stubborn I refused at first, determined to make it work, but then he came back to check on me. He told me about you, about how he’d fallen in love, and he was determined to give you the life Cal and I had tried to live. This life was always Cal’s dream, not mine, so when he came back a third time, I sold him this place, and now I know why he was in such a hurry to buy…” she nods to your bump.  
“He bought this place?” You whisper.  
Charlotte nods, her eyes crinkle kindly with warmth. “He told me unless something happened, he’d move you up here at the beginning of summer, I was to keep this place going until then…”  
You’re speechless, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Arthur bought a home and never told you.  
“He told me this place was to be a wedding gift for you.”  
You look around her…no, your… kitchen. Arthur had bought you a home. He’d bought you the life you dreamed of. Now you didn’t know if he’d even be around to share it with you.  
“I’d like to go to bed if you don’t mind.” Is all you can bring yourself to say, your head tired and overwhelmed.  
Nodding knowingly Charlotte guides you to a room but lingers by the door.  
“I’m sorry about how things ended up.” She says quietly before closing the door and leaving you to your thoughts.


End file.
